Saturday, September 09, 2006

Through Another Set of Eyes

Over the past couple of weeks I have been provided descriptions of myself by people who I know in varying degrees. I hadn't solicited any of these remarks--at least directly. And none were unkind. It's just interesting and thought-provoking to hear what about you strikes someone.

The first was one I've heard before--comments on my eyes. I have to say they're probably my best asset (there aren't many to choose from). They are blue (fading over time). I have long eyelashes to go with it, so they work. But what also has been interesting is that I also was subjected to a family photo in which my first reaction to my own image was that I don't know why people comment on my eyes because you can't really see them. I've always felt this way about photos of myself. My eyes I think are only my asset when you see me up close in person. Great, I'm a close up kind of gal. I guess that's why I never got picked out of the crowd to go up on stage with Bono and have him serenade me. Yeah, that's the reason.

I have a sort of intensity. Now granted this was used to describe the person I was more than a decade ago, and at that point in my life I thought I was going to change the world. So I can sort of understand it, but the person went on to describe that impression by a quality of mine I don't think has softened with age. I tend not to suffer fools well. Now granted this is my definition of fool. And I would guess that my definitions have softened. I think, I hope that I have become a bit more understanding over time. It's just funny, because I never would have thought of myself as intense. I love to be silly, to have fun. I don't skulk around, wear lots of black eyeliner and only listen to The Cure (have I dated myself?). I love Disney World, dancing to 80's music and singing at the top of my lungs.

I'm so open--to the point of being intriguing. Okay, this I know about myself. On the outside I seem very open because I'm willing to talk about things and ask questions that many others would not. What most people don't know--or maybe they do and I'm just kidding myself--is that there is so much inside that I don't share--at least not with the general public. Certain people see certain sides of me. And I have to admit, there is really only one or two who know the whole thing. And, I'm still amazed they love me.

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