Friday, April 27, 2007

Blogger Issue

I have read plenty of complaints about Blogger. Until this week, I personally have been very happy with my service--being that it's free and all, but now I join the ranks of the disgruntled.

For some reason, it seems folks who view my blog through certain readers cannot view any of the text. The same thing happens when I try to access specific posts through the Blogger dashboard.

I've tried a few things to rectify the issue, but so far nothing has worked. The particularly frustrating part is that I went to the Blogger Help group and have had no replies either.

I'm pretty sure this all started when I signed up for a feedburner account. I've since deactivated it and removed the code from my blog, but it is still happening. I'm hoping that publishing a new post might help. Or that some wonderful reader may know a trick to fix this.

Would you do me a favor and let me know what reader you use or how access this blog. That way I can try to rule things out.


Thursday, April 26, 2007

I Probably Shouldn't Be Left Alone With My Thoughts

Okay, can you guys just stop posting for a bit? Little league season has started and I have two playing this year (on different teams), so I can't keep up.

When I do try I get so involved with reading blogs that I'm too tired to post here.

To be honest with you, I think I've run out of things to say. I feel like if I can't make you laugh like her or cry like she does or rant like this one or give you beauty like this, well then what's the point?

So in the meantime I'll share with you the few thoughts/questions bumpin' around in my brain. I had five hours in the car yesterday traveling to and from an hour and a half meeting to consider some of this.

1. I love the term attorneys general. Pluralizing the word attorney rather than general is a fun surprise.

2. One of my favorite words is efficacy. Not for it's meaning, but because it's fun to say. Try it. EFF-I-CA-CY. Fun huh?

3. My Blackberry Texas Hold 'Em addiction is rearing its ugly head again. I'm such a risk-taker betting large sums of pretend money against a computer.

4. Did you know the State of Maryland has no natural lakes? All that exist are the result of river damming. Yeah, me either. (Thank you NPR)

5. I had to cros the Mason-Dixon line to get to my meeting. Why are there MORE country music stations North of the line?

6. Passed a tattoo parlor in the middle of nowhere. Wanted to stop on my way home to get me some ink, but I couldn't decide on a design. I wanted to get something to commemorate being a mother, but not something cliche. I know, I know, getting a tattoo because you're starting to feel old is a cliche, but I don't care. Any designers out there want to throw me a design? I have three boys and three strong women who inspire me. I was leaning toward some sort of oak tree/acorn thing, but I could change my mind tomorrow (especially if you send me a good design--hint hint).

7. If porn stars get hemorrhoids are their careers done? You can't airbrush them out of an entire video.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Tales of Gail and Toothpaste

What do Gail and toothpaste have in common? Not much that I know of though I'm willing to bet that Gail uses it regularly. She's clean that way. But I need to talk about both of these things today.

First Gail.

A big thanks to everyone who has said hi. I'm sorry if I confused anyone. Gail doesn't have a blog (yet), but I'm trying to get her to start one. It would be filled with LOTS of juicy gossip I promise you. She just sent me some good stuff about my highschool friemesis. Heh.

Requests were made for a good Gail story. Unfortunately I don't have specific story to tell, but rather an effect to report. First you must understand that Mamma's Mamma is a bit of a goodie-goodie. She never smoked cigarettes, she never did drugs--except that one time she says my aunt made "marijuana cookies" and "you know how I just can't resist cookies. But I don't see what all the hype is. I just felt sleepy." Yep. That's my mom. She does enjoy her one martini a day, but she's not a big drinker either.

Unless she's out with Gail.

Mom, Gail and their two friends have labeled themselves the Fab Four. They get together once a month or so for a girl's night out (I'm sure this was Gail's idea). Now you see I have Gail to thank for loosening my Mamma up.

I called down to say hi during their annual girl's weekend and what did I find? My mamma giggling her ass off. Apparently the girls had been drinking for quite some time and Gail had just whipped out the cigars (and Gail if it wasn't you--don't burst my bubble now). My mamma (remember goodie-goodie girl?) started smoking a CIGAR!

So how can I not love a woman who can get the goodie-goodie girl to be bad? Ah, a true mentor!

As for the toothpaste...

There are many uses for toothpaste. There's, well, cleaning your teeth. And yet, there is so much more. According to the folks over at you can use it for fixing DVDs, cleaning your jewelry and clearing up acne. It also works well as spackle and for hanging posters.

There is one thing though I'm pretty sure toothpaste should not be used near, and that my friends is your clitoris. Yep, I said it.

I'm not sure, poor Google searcher, how the terms "clitoris and toothpaste" led you to me, but if you want my opinion on the matter here it is.

Don't come near my nethers with toothpaste!

I understand that you may be looking for a cheap way to accomplish this, but please listen to Gloria Brame (and she's a sex therapist, you know) "I HATED IT- burn, burn, burn."

That is all I have to say about that.

Monday, April 23, 2007


You Are a Red Velvet Cake
Rich, decadent, and sensual.You have a deep appeal that transcends all trends.You are the definition of passion: intense, adventurous, and seductive.

I know these are silly. But hey, if you're red velvet you gotta tell the world.

Sunday, April 22, 2007

Say Hey!

One of the most loyal readers here at Mamma Mamma's Mamma's best friend. Rarely a day goes by that she doesn't stop by to see if I've added anything new. And if she doesn't find anything in the morning she'll stop by a few more times during the day to see if I got my act together to put some words to the page.

When I'm at a loss for something interesting about which to write (cause lord knows nothing is that interesting to read) I experience Gail Guilt. I just know she's going to be bummed when I haven't left her anything new.

So despite the fact I still have nothing that really feels worth sharing, my Gail Guilt is too great.

Please, say hey to Gail! I'm pretty sure if you do she'll check out your blogs too.

Now if I could just come up with some really juicy gossip that would make her happy. Honestly though, she's the one who has it all.

Hi Gail!! Thanks for reading!

Friday, April 20, 2007

Please Remember

The sun is finally shining today. I am reminded however that it will be a long while before it shines for the families, loved ones, friends and colleagues of those killed and injured in Blacksburg, VA and Iraq and Afghanistan.

Please keep them in your thoughts.

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Desperately Wanting

Dear Sun,

I know you've been feeling kinda big, but really you don't need to hide. I think you're beautiful just the way you are. Don't worry about the roundness of your ass. I know that's not what they're showing in all the magazines this season, but frankly, it makes me hot...and sweaty.

You have no idea how gorgeous I think you are. I could bask in your naked glory all day. I fantasize about it every night. Your rays make me tingle and feel all happy. I love when you use them to touch every part of my skin. It feels so warm and so goooood.

So please! Take off the clouds. Turn on the lights. I want to experience all of you.

Who cares what all those stars are saying. They're just burnouts anyway.


Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Because I Need To Keep Talking About It

I thought about other things to write about today, but I can't.

I'm not a Wahoo. I'm not a Hokie. But I am raising my children in Virginia. They attend school in the same district as some of the students who were killed...the same district as the gunman.

I held those beautiful boys of mine extra tight last night. I hugged them longer. I took in their smell. I felt the softness of their skin. I tried to imprint it all on my memory.

Because what if? What if those were my children? Would I remember it all? Could I hold on to it?

What would I do if I were those parents?

It's horrifying.

I grieve for the families of everyone involved. And yes, especially for the family of the troubled young man who lost his grip reality yesterday.

My heart especially aches for that young man who was obviously very, very troubled. I am sorry that he didn't find help. I can't imagine what it was that brought him to his actions. I in no way condone or excuse them, but I hurt to think that someone was so troubled and felt there was no other way out. His family will need extra prayers.

There are many other people sharing their feelings about yesterday's events. Kevin, Jessica and Joy all brought tears to my eyes. I'm sure there will be more. As I know there will be more hugs and more kisses for the ones I love.

Monday, April 16, 2007

What Is Going On?

My heart is breaking with each new set of details that emerge from Blacksburg, VA. Now the reports are up to 31 dead. As a parent, knowing my children are in a classroom has always provided me with a feeling of security.

I am sending my prayers to the parents, children and family of those killed or injured.

This is dreadful.

Sunday, April 15, 2007

So (Apparently) I've Been Thinking

The Southern Fried Mom over at Grits and Cheese has awarded me Thinking Blogger Award. I have to admit I must have reread her post at least four times to make sure my eyes weren't deceiving me.

I've watched this award weave its way throughout many of my favorite blogs, and I chalked it up as one that would never apply to this here blog. You see, as much as I had loved the idea that someone would consider me so, I'm afraid I haven't been provding the kind of content that could be considered "thoughful." So you could imagine my surprise when I saw I was awarded. Thank you. I am humbled.

But now? The PRESSURE. Now I feel like I need to actually say something worth saying. Oh crap!

First let me get the particulars out of the way. I want to pass this distinguished title (yeah, I don't know if I can say that with a straight face now that I've been included) to the following folks.

A Citizen at Hysterical and Useless for providing such thought-provoking posts in small manageable doses.

Paige at The Avery Lane Experience and not just because she inspired me to go buy some vitamins this weekend.

There's NOLA Notes not only for making me think of my beloved city, but also for setting an example of perserverance and not giving up on that city.

The Pissed Off Housewife and I don't always agree politically, but I sure do love her and love being challenged by her.

And finally, Beth at Books Etc. from whom I gain so much regarding her experience raising boys and her ability to make me fall in love with words all over again.

So each of you may now pass this award on to five bloggers who have made you think. And just link back to this post. That's it.

As for my thinking? I think all the time. It's actually a problem. My brain is always racing. Most of the time however it's full of random thoughts and anxieties that I can neither control or channel into multi-million dollar ideas. I often need to turn on the TV at night just so I can stop the racing thoughts long enough to fall asleep. I dream all night--vividly, and I almost always remember them in the morning. So I think I have the thinking down. What I need to master however is ability to transform those thoughts from paste to gems.

Tell me. What you've been thinking about lately? If you have nothing in mind, leave me a word association. Start with this word:


Friday, April 13, 2007

Bad Things Happen in Threes

It's no secret I love New Orleans. I mean there's the food and the way of life and the food and the architecture and the food and the people and the food and the architecture and...well you get the point. There's something else I've lately discovered about the city--and well the state. They turn out some kick-ass bloggers.

One is particular is NOLA Notes. She quickly drew me in and I was compelled to add her to my daily reads. Please stop by and tell her hi, hear what it's like to be committed to that wonderful city.

Now, she was darling enough to ask me to tell you some three things, but I have to admit the request was made some time ago and I fell a little behind so I hope it's not too late to comply.

Three Things That Scare Me: Michael Bolton, Kenny G & Star Jones

Three People Who Make Me Laugh: Shakey, PFunky & Eddie Izzard

Three Things I Love: hugs and kisses from my boys, dancing until the wee hours & lying on sparsely populated beach with a cabana boy to adjust my chair and bring me frosty beverages

Three Things I Hate: the Head On commercials, that carbs don't make you skinny & being cold and wet at the same time

Three Things I Don’t Understand: murder, intolerance & Portugese

Three Things On My Desk: a cup of Pop Tops (save 'em, send them to me), random papers I don't want but don't think I should throw away & old copies of Roll Call

Three Things I’m Doing Right Now: Watching I Love the 80's-1987, drying off and drinking a Diet Pepsi

Three Things I Want To Do Before I Die: Visit the Grand Canyon, Go on a photo safari in Africa & vacation in the South Pacific

Three Things I Can Do: make a garden grow, rap all the words to It's Tricky & supposedly VACUUM

Three Things I Can’t Do: fold fitted sheets neatly, pee (neatly) standing up & grow hair on my chest

Three Things I Think You Should Listen To: Your Mamma, your kidlings & your gut

Three Things You Should Never Listen To: Michael Bolton, Kenny G & Star Jones

Three Things I’d Like To Learn: to SCUBA dive, be a doctor & to be a good photographer

Three Favorite Foods: homemade pasta, crusty bread & bananas foster

Three Shows I Watched As A Kid: Mr. Rogers, The Electric Company & Zoom

So you've humored my by hanging with me this far. Thanks.

Now if the following three bloggers would--okay I can't come up with any witty way to say "do this meme" and frankly I'm now singing to myself, "her name was trio and she dances on the sand..." Do you think I'm stuck in the 80's?! Anyway, I'd like Steve, Southern Fried Mom and Eva Las Vegas to play along. Sure hope they will.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Memo to the Queen

Dear Queen of the Mayhem,

Regarding your comment concerning OTJ's "cyst", I wanted to say I share your concerns about 69.

I personally find it difficult to completely enjoy the pleasure of receiving when I'm also supposed to be focused on...


You meant problem NUMBER 69? then.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Holy Crap!

The woman who first won my heart in the blogosphere nominated me?!! This silly blog where I let spew the inane thoughts clogging my brain? Shoot, I was just using it as an excuse to delay cleaning. I know, I know, Mom. I've been successfully doing THAT since before Al Gore invented the internet.

But check this out...

My site was nominated for Best Parenting Blog!

Thanks Karrie. I'm humbled that you'd even think of me. Can't wait to lay eyes on you in Chicago!!

South American Sojourns

The trips, the travel.

I started my day hearing the news that my legal eagle-in-training, the lovely Jay, will be heading to Sao Paulo for the internship of his dreams this summer. It doesn't hurt that he'll be near a certain someone as well. Way to go Jay!

Then I myself took a detour to Rio where I tamed the wild caterpillars.

Nothing but Brazil on my mind.

Sunday, April 08, 2007

Blogging: The STRESS

It's 11:16 p.m. on Sunday and I FINALLY caught up on all of your posts!

It's becoming clear to me that I have too many blogs in my reader, but I don't feel like breaking up with any of you. What even worse is that I see the lists of other blogs people love or who are honored with one award or another and I think I really should get out to see those folks as well. Of course, all of these are blogs theoretically still in the same community. I'd love to also get out and check out some blogs of people who are living completely different lives than my own (not to suggest you all live the suburban bliss I call my life--but you know what I mean).

Problem is I run out of time most nights to post to my own blog, take part in any of my hobbies or read a book.

Guess I'm going to have to stop doing work at work so I can focus on more important things (just kidding boss).


In the spirit of catching up, I also have just one meme left to complete.

For my pal Dorky Dad, I will complete the following.

List four sentences you've never said before:
1. I love the Boston Red Sox!
2. "I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States." (at least not yet)
3. I hate shoes.
4. Orgasms are just no fun.

List any number of song titles that describe how you felt this week.
"Ain't It Funny How Time Slips Away"
"Family Tradition"
"Let Me Clear My Throat"
"Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow" (I mean it's only April)
"Pride and Joy"
"Sisters Are Doin' It For Themselves"
"I Want Candy"
"Welcome to the Jungle"

Imagine you're having the perfect day. What four things would you be doing.
Ummm, my mom is reading...
1. Laying on a beach in the warm tropical sun.
2. Having a fantastic time splashing in the water with the kiddos.
3. Going out on a date sporting a great tan and a sassy sundress.
4. Dancing!!!

Make up five creative names for a rock band.
Creativity is going to be a stretch here. I can barely focus on the screen.
1. Headless Peeps
2. Final Fringe Feeling
3. Egg Popping Chickens
4. Grey is Good
5. Red Snails (In the Sunset)

Congratulations! You get to go back in time and ensure that three songs were never written, thus sparing humanity from ever having to hear them. What three songs would get the axe?
1. Mony, Mony
2. What I Like About You
3. Broken Wings

Phew! I'm exhausted! Sorry you had to read all that.

I'm tagging Mr. Big Dubya because he's been gone for a while and I'm thinking maybe he just needed something to get him back into the swing of things, and JJ because, well, it's been far too quiet over there as well.

Saturday, April 07, 2007

Do They WANT the Easter Bunny to Come?

It would means they actaully need to GO to sleep!

The Bunny's getting tired, and she still has baskets to fill!

Got to get to bed early so I have enough energy to meet the early morning sugar high.

Woohoo! Easter candy.

Help me!!!!!

Thursday, April 05, 2007

Mamma: The Rolling Stone Interviews

Rolling Stone called and wanted an exclusive with a nerd girl super-cool blogger. I told them I was sorry, but they'd have to get in line behind the two cracked journalists who had already submitted their requests (oh, okay! They offered to throw me some questions and jumped all over the chance).

First from Wonder Mom.

1. New Orleans makes me feel:
Happy. At home. Warm. Creative. Carefree. There is just something about having lived there. It became part of who I am. I wish I could lay more claim to the city than just four short years, but I’ll take those. It is by far my favorite city in the country. The greatest thing about New Orleans is that it’s warts and scars are part of its charm. I guess I’m just a sucker for character.

2. What's the most boring day you have ever had?
Oh what I wouldn’t give for a boring day! It’s so hard to think back far enough to find one. You know there isn’t one that immediately comes to mind, but if I were to guess, I’d say it probably involved a family road trip when I was a kid stuck in the back seat with my sister. I’m sure she spent the entire trip “on my side.”

3. What is your favorite keepsake from motherhood?
I’d say it has to be the photographs. The boys are all growing so quickly that I’m shocked when I look back at pictures from just last year and notice how much they’ve changed. I love capturing their smiles, their funny faces, their fashion statements.

4. Do you still want to be a rock star?

Definitely!! You have no idea how cool I think it would be to rock out on stage, belting out amazing tunes. Of course, I’d be stick skinny and probably dress like Joan Jett. I’d want to kick-ass but have a soft side too. Unfortunately, there’s a better chance of me winning the Pulitzer Prize for blogging (and you’ve read my blog) than there is of me developing the ability to carry a tune.

So instead I don my iPod and pretend when I’m all alone.

5. I saw you posted this is June..update it. Mamma loves...
This all goes back to the origin of my blog’s name. I have this fantasy of opening my own shoe boutique. I want to call it Mamma Loves Shoes (because I do indeed LOVE shoes). Since that didn’t look like it was going to happen in the near future, I adapted the title for my blog. The idea was that I would talk about things I loved and things I didn’t. I couldn’t stick to the format but the name was already there.

Today Mamma Loves…

All of her guys
Her family

The book club girls
Friends in low places
Her bloggy friends
Danger Doll (for the free advice that even a ludite like me could use to pretty up the joint)
Her adopted twin nieces (and their mamma of course)
The Latvian Princess

(and in no particular order)
A day at the spa
Good music
The sound of her guys’ laughter
Warm sunshine
Long, passionate kisses
Her garden
End-of-the-year bonuses
Comments (yes I'm a whore for a good comment--so leave one dammit)
A great bag (a girl can dream)
The beach
Diet Coke
Helicopter rides
The perfect color lipstick

And from Mrs. Chicky

1. How old were you when you got your first kiss? What were thecircumstances?
With tongue? That would be sixth grade—which is horrifying since my oldest is finishing up fifth grade now. I can remember it like it was yesterday. I was standing at the corner of the school building on my way to my bus and my “boyfriend” Chris told me he wanted me to walk the long way with him and when he was sure no one was looking he laid one on me. I think I was shocked. I may have kissed him back, but I’m sure it couldn’t have been for more than a few seconds and then I ran for my bus blushing like you wouldn’t believe. I’ve definitely refined my skills since then.

2. If you could pick to go anywhere, where is the perfect vacationdestination?
A sparsely populated Caribbean beach with my own cabana boy to bring me frozen fruity drinks, adjust my umbrella, ensure the proper coverage of suntan lotion and fan me as necessary.

3. Did you play sports in high school? If yes, which one(s)? If no, why?
Ah yes, I was a tennis player. I wasn’t very good at sticking to a practice schedule, but it was fun. I wish I still played as much as I did. I’ve been thinking about getting back into it.

4. Favorite movie couple: Hepburn and Tracy or Jolie and Pitt?
No contest. Hepburn and Tracy hands down. Katharine Hepburn is one of my idols. What an incredible woman.

5. What is your favorite article of clothing that you own?
Now you’d think it would be a pair of shoes, but right now I’m not in love with any particular pair I own. I’d have to say it’s my denim jacket. It seems to go with almost anything. I’ve worn a denim jacket in one form or another since middle school—not the same one, don’t worry. I think it sort of sums up my personality. I used to be a tomboy as a kid but I’m definitely became more girly in high school—not too girlie though. I’ll wear a skirt and flats and then throw on my denim jacket to head out. I don’t know. I guess it makes me feel like I can be dressed up but I still don’t have to take life too seriously.

I'd like to thank my two gracious interviewers for their terrific questions. Should you like a reason to tell Rolling Stone "NO," just give me a shout and I'll send some questions your way.

Sunday, April 01, 2007

Is It Already Over?

I can't believe prom is already just a memory.

Duuuuuuuuude! We had a killer time last night. You should have been there.

We had a well-stocked fridge.

The wine coolers! The Asti!! AND Michelobe Lite. The guys really got the good stuff for us.

We SO know how to party.

Don't we just make the cutest couple? I just know we're going to be together forEVAH. (try it was over six weeks later)