Wednesday, October 18, 2006

oh, how I wish I were a solid gold dancer...

Here is my life-long fantasy...it has nothing to do with another man, more money or finding god, I have always wanted to be a Solid Gold dancer. You remember the show from the 80s, "Solid Gold". I remember when the Solid gold dancers would perform the "Top Ten" songs in some sort of interpretive dance that doubled as G-Rated pole dancing...sometimes they would dance with partners, the black woman with the long braided hair ALWAYS got solo dances. Man, was she goooood! They could make any 80s song, from "Endless Love" to "Superfreak" into the most expressive dancing I've ever seen. Okay, I'm kidding. It was the absolute CHEASIEST thing on tv at the time...or was that Great American Hero? I digress. I have spent my life emulating those solid gold dances for friends and family.

I can be anywhere and hear a good song and want to break out into dance. In my head, I have the most awesome dance moves...standing on the seat of a chair and walking down the back of it onto the floor (done that in reality), writhed on the floor and crawled towards my husband (he used to get embarrassed when I would do that in front of our friends, but now he just has another beer and lets me perform). I tried swinging around a streetlamp in New Orleans a few years ago, but that feat was kind of hard and I ended up getting bruises on my inner arm (war wounds). I can hear a Def Leppard song and want to do that in the middle of the gym at the JCC...but I think people would just think I was off my rocker. Aren't I???

I keep thinking in my head, "I have got to make a dance video for stay-at-home moms (like myself) so they could crack up as much as I do when I start dancing and also get into shape. I think about turning up the radio and dancing like a fool. Right now Beyonce is singing "Crazy in Love" on my ipod...who doesn't want to shake every body part to this song and walk up and down the hallway like a runway model??? That's what I'm talkin' about! Would anyone watch a video of a woman making a fool of herself and do the same thing in her own home??? I dunno, but if I could do some solid gold dancing moves and help some woman stuck in the house all the time to lose her post-partum weight, I would do it!

Okay, this is my first time trying to blog. I just wish I could use this computer to find a picture of Solid Gold dancers so you knew what I was talking about. I gotta go dance to this music and shed a few pounds myself!

Oh, to be in my 20s again dancing at dance clubs until the sweat was dripping off my big white schruncy socks and too short shorts and my awful magenta lipstick that my friends finally made me give up for neutral tones...I guess I won't be able to show off my smooth moves at my children's bar and bat mitzvah...but shouldn't they know the real me????

And why can't I find anyone in the 'burbs who wants to dance like a fool and not care what anyone else thought of them? Why does everyone seem so caught up about what people think about them? Why can't someone just put on Def Leppard's "Animal" (ipod song right now) and freakin' rock it out??? I have GOT to start a class or make a video for people called, "Get Loose" or maybe "Foot Loose" (yeah, that one wouldn't work) and do something with this talent? Well, I hope Mamma Loves would agree that it is some weird talent and not a curse I have to bear the rest of my life...

4 Deserve Mamma's Love:

karrie said...

Hehehe....

My younger sister and I used to give my mom white hairs by playing "Solid Gold dancers".

Maybe sign on for a bellydancing or hiphop class at a nearby fitness center? I've done both and had a blast.

Mamma said...

I've always considered it a gift!

Jill Shalvis said...

I used to want to be a solid gold dancer too, lol. Now I have a teenage daughter who wants to be one for Halloween. God save me ...

Jill said...

I remember those Solid Gold dancers. Wonder what they're doing now.

Now I have to curse you for the tune that is going to be playing over and over in my head for the rest of the day:

Believe it or not, I'm walking on Air.
Never thought I could feel so free. Flying away on a wing and a prayer. Who could it be? Believe it or not it's just me."


Never saw the show, but that theme song sure sticks in your head.