Brother for Sale

From the same guy who brought us this, I submit the email my brother received today (and which we as his sisters were carbon copied).

Hi there Son,

I was in the grocery store line yesterday looking over the magazines for gossip, and there in that inimitable publication "The National Enquirer" was the news that Rachel Ray is getting divorced--is she a great prospect, or WHAT!!

Her husband--soon to be ex--is asking for the modest sum of $500 million for settlement, so you can detect that she can easily absorb the cost of a wedding. So CALL HER UP, and ASK HER OUT--I suspect it's been some time since she dated a rocket scientist*, so she should be receptive, even enthusiastic.

An aside, in case you don't know about Rachel, she is a young (?30-35) woman who has at least one (perhaps two) TV cooking shows, has written books on Italian cooking, travels the world doing feature shows on cooking in different countries and is very attractive, personable, and engaging. Her only possible weakness is that I have never seen her demonstrate compelling cookie cooking skills, an imperative--nay, mandatory--cooking strength. (This is not important since we can all help her with the cookies if she becomes part of the family--Hee-Hee.)

After all, sons-in-law are terrific, but really all they do is work and get fed and grumble that it's time to go. What we need in the Hurst family is a prospective daughter-in-law immersed in a long (but formal) engagement to keep her alert as to how best to please her aging prospective father-in-law. The occasional dutiful hug and kiss is fine, but we're talking ITALIAN COOKING here, and LOTSA dough for pasta AND travel expenses.

In addition to your status as a rocket scientist, I think you could also truly capture her interest if you told her your spaghetti sauce is better than hers--and then if neither of you are impressed after the first few dates you could at least get some wonderful recipes... While I have not consulted everyone, I am certain the remainder of the family joins me in this recommendation with the same unbridled enthusiasm.

Lotsa love, your old Dad

So then I asked dear old Dad if I could post his letter on my blog and here was his response:

Amie, glad you liked it, I think we all have to join to keep steady gentle pressure on such a timid family member. Of course you can post it on your blog, and I don't care about the whether you use my name or not--however, perhaps you should use your brother's name AND Email, since with such a blog as you manage he might turn up a whole HOST of prospects--all of us know that NOTHING gets the attention of Moms more than a stray single male... Lotsa love, Dad

I'm thinking he might want my brother to settle down. Any funny, cool, athletic, nice, women in the greater Houston, TX area want a date with a handsome 40 year-old NASA scientist??

And apparently, my dad would also prefer it if you were a good cook.

*in the spirit of semi-disclosure, my dear brother is involved in space medicine.