Thursday, September 27, 2007

The Bidding is Open

You may not come with millions. You may not need 30 minutes to make a meal.

But, the family has taken a vote and it was unanimous.*

For those of you who haven't been following along (what? you don't stop by her five times a day?), it started yesterday with an email from dear old dad.

Then came the grateful response:

Thank you family for all the love and support and guidance and advertising and marketing and, and, and… holy cr@p!!!

The testimony from a friend (see anonymous).

And of course the vote (have you ever tried to get four sisters to agree on anything?).

We have decided it might be time.

So...

My brother is now officially on the auction block.

If you're interested, we'd be willing to entertain your offers for a date with my brother.

Despite the suggestion on the earlier post that we might be able to let him go sight-unseen, we felt we'd get a much better price if you could see the quality of the goods (not those goods--ewww he's my brother).

Here are the stats:

  • Lives in Houston, TX
  • Has a PhD in something science related--it's too complicated for me to understand
  • He's a young 40
  • Owns his own home--and it doesn't have wheels
  • He's gainfully employed--it was a nail-biter there for a while
  • Remembers birthdays (he sent me flowers this year!!)
  • Has been on the vomit comet
  • He has four fabulously gorgeous sisters
  • He doesn't live near any of them
  • Not a butter face



  • Skilled in the way of the ninjas

  • Not claustrophobic
  • Has incredible muscle control


Oh, and he's willing to make an ass of himself for fun.

The bidding will open at a long weekend of babysitting for his three "spirited" nephews.

*Dad was going to object but we just stuffed a chocolate chip cookie in his mouth.
**Serious inquiries only please.

22 Deserve Mamma's Love:

gorillabuns said...

well, if the dude i'm with doesn't work out, i'll totally hunt him down.

Ivy said...

Hmmm. I'll babysit and toss in a hotel room and a free meal at Logan's Roadhouse. My best friend totally needs a dude like your bro. ;)

Lisa said...

I have a friend named Christine who lives in Dallas. (I know its not Houston and its not exactly a quick drive but.... She's beautiful, fun, sweet, smart, independant and is wonderful with her nieces. Very patient, nurturing and likes to act silly. And is a great cook. She's not prissy, pretentious, or superficial.)

Anyone who knows her LOVES her. And? She is tall and has long brown hair and brown eyes. I adore this woman. And did I mention how FUN she is? Would it help if I told you she has a great rack? heehee.

E-mail me Aimee because you would LOVE her. Trust.

Lisa said...

P.S. Christine is not the brain surgeon chick that I mentioned in a previous post.

Mrs. Chicken said...

aaawwww. you're good sisters!

Nancy said...

Whoa, good looking bro ya got there ... if I lived closer, I would pitch the Demi More philosophy.

Blog Antagonist said...

Wow. My sister could really use a noraml, employed, SANE man in her life. Too bad she is so emotionally tied to the loser she has lived with for the past 12 years. But, if he were to have a sudden and tragic "accident", I'll definitely give her your brother's contact info.

canape said...

Everything but the Houston. Dang. I know no one in Houston. But he totally seems like a catch.

Plus - the lucky winner would get to have YOU at all the family gatherings!

Kelly said...

I have to say, any many who grew up with FOUR sisters has to be a catch! But alas, this perfect woman already is attached. But I'll keep my ears and eyes out looking!

Special K ~Toni said...

Wow! I'm happily married, but he is a catch! A house with no wheels? Remembers birthdays? gainfully employed? Can't get much better than that!

Paige Jennifer said...

(giggling) Then you'd be my sister. Holy shit, family get togethers would be way fun.

~JJ! said...

God he's adorable.

I wish I was single.

Would he take a chick with baggage?

(Not me of course, just askin' for the other ladies out there..ahem.)

PunditMom said...

Dang! I've got just the gal for him, but she's in our neck of the woods. But hey, if he hooks up with Rachael Ray, you'll get an invite to s fabulously expensive wedding! ;)

Suburban Oblivion said...

I'd totally date him! Ya know, if I weren't married..and had three kids..and lived in Alabama.

Maureen said...

Well, where the hell was he when I was single in the '70s?

Oh, yeah, he would have been 10.

Nevermind....

Mamma said...

I'm starting to think I'm not even going to recoup my costs on this.

Come on kids! Offer us anything. We don't want to mark him down.

Big Momma Pimpalishisness With A Cherry On Top said...

If only he wasn't across the country :( My best friend's looking for a good man!

Worker Mommy said...

I'll ask hubby if its ok to bid cuz he sure sounds like a good catch ;)

Marie Green said...

He seems awesome, too bad I don't know any willing candidates...

Anonymous said...

YIKES!!!!!!

Lawyer Mama said...

FABULOUS! You know I'm already married or I'd be all over that. I still think you could auction him off site unseen, but the picture does help. He's a cutie!

kris said...

KICK ASS!