Wednesday, November 08, 2006

There is Hope Yet Again

Day 8
Mood: Freaking Ecstatic!

In case you haven't heard, there was an election yesterday. The people of my country--the very same people I had begun to suspect may indeed be zombies--finally said "we've had enough!"

I have spent the last 12 years feeling like an outsider, out of step with my fellow citizens, but today I have a renewed sense of optimism about the American electorate--about We, the People. However, before God Bless America begins blare from your speakers I need to get some stuff out of my system.

Neh, neh, neh, neh, neh, neh. WE FUCKING WON!!!!!

And it was so bad, so terribly, horribly, ferociously bad that you had to sacrifice one of your own this afternoon! Not that we're surprised that you'd be willing to leave a man behind. What has come to light in the last year or so with DeLay and Ney and Cunningham and Macaca and your lie last week about keeping Rumy on board reaffirmed everything I knew to be true about you--you are not nice people. You have been hoarding power for your own gain. You do not love your country! And damn you, you suggested that because I didn't agree with your war or your suspension of civil rights that I was the unpatriotic one. Well fuck you! You were wrong! And I'm starting to suspect you might be getting the hint. You know what that makes me say?

YEEEEHAAAAA!!!!!! I'm doing my happy dance all over your goddammed yard signs!!!

Phew! That felt good!

I wanted to come home to celebrate with a glass of champagne, but I was too damned superstitious to put a bottle in the fridge. As an alternative and in honor of the cleaning up of Congress, I got a bikini wax instead. I seriously think I was so deliriously happy that it hurt less than normal. So now you know, we're all neat up here in DC.

Just in case that didn't make you feel better, I leave you with some of the funnier election-related brilliance that crossed my screen today.

From the prego mom of two D's to be I received:

George Bush goes to a primary school to talk to the kids to get a Little PR. After his talk he offers question time. One little boy puts up his hand and George asks him his name. "Stanley," responds the little boy. "And what is your question, Stanley?" "I have four questions:

First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN?

Second, why are you President when Al Gore got more votes?

Third, whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden?

Fourth, why are we so worried about gay-marriage when half of all Americans don't have health insurance?"

Just then, the bell rings for recess. George Bush informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess. When they resume George says, "OK, where were we? Oh, that's right, question time. Who has a question?"Another little boy puts up his hand. George points him out and asks him his name. "Steve," he responds. "And what is your question, Steve?"

"Actually, I have six questions.

First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN?

Second, why are you President when Al Gore got more votes?

Third, whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden?

Fourth, why are we so worried about gay marriage when half of all Americans don't have health insurance?

Fifth, why did the recess bell go off 20 minutes early?

And sixth, what the hell happened to Stanley?"

The always lovely Jay--studying his little tooshie off in GA--sent us this gem (trust me it's worth the click).

And finally, our friend the former Minnehaha Mama, Jill provided us with this post this morning.

We've won the House for sure, the Senate is soon to follow and Rumsfeld is out. It's like Christmas in November!

2 Deserve Mamma's Love:

Anonymous said...

Did Daddy like the Bikini Wax? I bet he did ;) ....

Oh, The Joys said...

You might be the ONLY gal that can CELEBRATE with a bikini wax...

YEOUCH!