Tuesday, November 21, 2006

A Mom or a Therapist's Wet Dream?

Day 21
Mood: Hitting the homestretch

Some days I worry that I'm not cut out to be a good mother. That's quite unfortunate since I have three small children. Now don't get me wrong...I LOVE my kids. They do mean more to me than anything else. But some days I just can't channel that Julie Aigner-Clark perma-smile everlasting patience for my liebchens. Does this make me a bad mom?

When I'm willing to have my 10 year-old read stories to his little brothers because my headache just won't go away...does that make me a bad mother?

At what point do you have to seriously question whether or not you're just setting them up for years of therapy?

There are so many messages out there about how to be a good mom. So many items on the checklist...always a new standard.

  • Nurse them for the first 12 months...but the longer you go the better (even if you don't get any sleep for a year as a result).
  • Don't work, don't let anyone else be their primary care-giver (even if they do become bilingual through their day care experience).
  • No TV (even though are whole world is moving toward a multi-media mode of communication).
  • No sugar, no fats, everything organic (cause it's too late for us twinkie-eating, soda swilling parents).
  • Public school v. private school (you haven't started worrying about preschool yet?!)
  • Never ride anything without a helmet or at least seventeen protective straps (because that reinforced big wheel with the parent handle that you never release may tip over).
  • A bath every night, right after an early balanced meal and then fourteen bedtime stories all before 7:30 because routines are great (even if you don't get home until 6:30)

If you're reading this list and saying I can't believe she's complaining about any one of these things, please DO NOT leave a comment. Instead, relax have another kid or two and realize that it is not possible to follow ALL of the rules.

PLEASE leave a comment if you've felt at all frustrated as a mother. I NEED to hear from you. I tend towards the dramatic and often jump to awful conclusions about myself (cause who else is going to look down on you if you don't look down on yourself?). Tonight I'm wondering if my children would be better off without me.

Do you think I might be tired?

3 Deserve Mamma's Love:

Jill said...

Last Saturday the healthiest thing my 4-year-old ate was a french fry. I'm not gonna sweat it and neither should you.

ingrid said...

Honey, as the mother of two quite happy (the usual disclaimers apply), healthy teenagers, I have to say that my biggest lessons are (i) a happy mother is a good mother...if that means taking care of yourself before them, so be it; and (ii) be flexible in all things...just try and stay up on that surfboard and ride the waves.

I did the natural, organic thing and the no-tv thing for about ten years, and my boys still rag me about it to no end. They are now junk-food junkies and love to watch endless drivel.

In the end, they are safe and loved, and they know it. I'm quite certain that yours do, too.

Kat said...

Some days Survival is good enough

Check out this one if you don't want to feel alone. Actually just read back a few posts and you will see lots of Mama/wife frustration.