Friday, February 16, 2007

Dreams of MILFdom

It's been a while since I've provided an update, and there is a reason for that. There's really no update to be had.

And so I have a confession to make.

I self-medicate...WITH FOOD!

Something goes wrong and I think it's an excuse to eat. You get sick, "oh you deserve to treat yourself if since you're suffering." Someone hurts your feelings, "my heart is broken...chocolate will help." You're pissed off, "Screw it...I can eat whatever I want."

You think I have a problem?

No kidding!!

I'm often reminded of that episode of Friends when Phoebe's boyfriend reminds Monica that food doesn't equal love.

I totally know how that feels though. When things seem out of control I eat as revenge. It's like I figure other people might be making decisions for me that I don't like, but dammit I'll show them and eat whatever the hell I want. Why do I not desire to take out that anger in the form of exercise?! I'd be a freakin' babe!

Okay, the more I write here, the more I think it's time to call up that shrink in Beverly Hills...

The first step is acknowledging the issue right?

I am committed to future MILFdom. I know Iive got a MILF inside me. I just need to shed the fat girl suit she seems to be wrapping herself in right now.

I'm grateful for the weekly reminder to get back in the game. And I promise to report progress soon...but it would be a lot easier if carbs didn't taste SO good.




20 Deserve Mamma's Love:

yerdoingitwrong said...

I hear ya. I am a carbaholic, too. Hang in there, girl! You can do this!!

Janet a.k.a. "Wonder Mom" said...

You can do it Mamma.

I have faith in that MILF inside of you.

Neil said...

Well, I still think it is better to self-medicate with food than Prozac.

Kevin Charnas said...

((((((Mamma)))))

Oh Mamma...this is a REALLY hard one. And carbs? OH. I KNOW!! I could eat pasta 3x's a day, bagels and chips 5x's a day, etc. You get the point. I LOVE them.

I'm going to just tell you a psychology that I've had to develop for myself, for a simple reason - I actually almost died, from food. Maybe this might help you...

I was 29 and was in liver failure. My liver was bogged down with COPPER (who knew?) from a genetic disease called Wilson's Disease - an inability to flush copper out of one's system. I didn't know that I had it until I was almost dead, literally. I was one of the lucky ones. The disease is always fatal if not caught and dealt with in enough time.

It also has some brutal symptoms that can be irreversible, again, I was one of the lucky ones.

Copper is in just about everything we eat, but it's higher in some foods; CHOCOLATE (can you IMAGINE???), nuts, dried fruits, wheat (WHEAT? wheat is in EVERYTHING!), beans, shellfish, which I love...anyway, you get the picture. It's in a lot of foods that I LOVE.

I had to quit those foods. Quit, cold turkey...well, actually, I could still eat cold turkey, or warm turkey for that matter, HA! you know what I mean... ;)

Anyway, once in a while I will let myself a little bit of something, but in my head, I've labeled those foods that I love so much as poison. So, even when I have them, I don't really enjoy them that much anymore. They're poison to me. And lots and lots of carbs for someone who might not have a fast metabolism are no different.

I don't know if this has helped at all. I just wanted to share my experience with you so that maybe it could help you to frame the not-so-good for you foods different in your mind. Because when it comes down to it, it IS a mind game.

Oh, The Joys said...

Self-medicate, celebrate, sooth anxiety, ease boredom... all of these drive me to (now) eat the whole can of beets, the whole bag of carrots and the whole stalk of celery all in one sitting. The weight is gone, but I have the worst farts ever...

Terri said...

I'm with ya Mamma...
I eat for every occasion...
happy, sad, depressed, bored, tired, mad, you name it ... I want to eat!

I have my own blog now...
it's listed at the bottom of my profile. It was easier for me that way...
I thought I could just hang w/ Matthew's blog ... but .. didn't work out. I was being so social on other peoples blogs.

Jayme said...

We're all beautiful!

Mitch McDad said...

Hey Mamma....It's just like anything else, you just need to get started and get some positive momentum. Then start making good eating a habit. Sounds easy, huh. BS. It's hard as hell. But you can do it. MILF away!!

Going to do the meme tonight.

St Jude said...

You'll get there, you're just taking the scenic route ;0}

Southern Fried Mom said...

I am right there with you. Being a Southern girl, we do everything around the buffet table: celebrate, socialize, even grieve. Not only that, but I just freaking like the way food tastes...especially CARBS! Hang in there, we can do it!

Flawed & Disorderly said...

AMEN SISTA! I am making no progress at all. As I type this at almost midnight, I'm eating saltines and cheese slices. I eat for every emotion there is, and I think I make some up. I LOVE junk food. And chocolate DOES make me feel better! It really does! That sounds really good. I'm going to go eat some chocolate. Anyway, I'm making zero progress on the MILF thing. Bah!

Attila The Mom said...

Oh Gawd, it's so hard to reach for the bag of raw cauliflower when there's a big tupperware of Macaroni and Cheese sitting right next to it....

I hear ya!

Ruth Dynamite said...

It'll be much, much easier when spring rolls around. Self-discipline comes naturally when bathing suit season looms on the horizon.

Queen of the Mayhem said...

I suffer from the same problem! I am hardcore, until something goes wrong and then that sneaky sense of entitlement creeps in to my brain! I know you can do it! Just rid yourself of ALL the stresses in your life and then it will be easy! (hee-hee)

Mardi Gras '07 Update: The Queen is MUCH too old to partake in beverages that contain jello! UGH!

Housewife said...

I LIVE on carbs!

I just don't add fat to them and I work out a lot, an awful lot.

So much that when I'm grumpy the little guy says, "Mom, go for a run or go to the gym."

I'm completely addicted to the endorphines.

Carbs aren't bad, apples are full of carbs.

Processed carbs are bad though.

We'll get you to MILF-dom and then my neighbor can insult you too!

Kim said...

Being a MILF is hard. It's hard work. The nuances are difficult to master. What I've learned over the years really hasn't much to do with your weight per se, it's more stuff like:
1. Keeping lots of food in the fridge for random teenaged boys to eat.
2. Allowing your daughters to bring the dirty minded little chits over.
3. Never correcting thier stupid mistakes.
4. Having boobs, of any size.
5. Telling at least one fart joke to at least one of them.

Follow those guidelines and you are assured MILFdom.
Sorry, I realize this post was meant to help inspire you to a lofty goal, but the bar really isn't too high...Pretty much, if they have a penis during their adolescence, you're a MILF.

Anonymous said...

You wrote a really nasty comment about a homeless mother on another blog.

I thought it was really mean what you said.

Mamma said...

Anonymous:

Either I misinterpreted the situation or my comment was misinterpreted. I typically use comments to give support or make a joke...not to be mean. Please let me know where it was I made that comment so I may correct it.

thank you.

QueenieBadd said...

Hey Mamma-I totally know what you mean! For me, with the kids 24/7 and everything, sometimes it seems like the only fun thing I can do is eat. So when I get a minute to myself, I eat. Usually some kind of ice cream, but cakes or cookies work too. I can resist most carbs, but I've got a horrible sugar addiction.

Hang in there! I keep telling myself that the only way to not lose weight is to not keep trying. Every day is a new day, and it's all a process.

Kevin said...

I, too, seem to live on carbs. And for this season of Lent, even though I'm not Catholic, I will be giving up the Coca-Cola. I typically have 8 or 9 a day. Hopefully, in 40 days I'll have dropped about 8 pounds or so.