There Are Days

There are days when your kitchen sink develops a clog and it's a holiday weekend and 35 people are coming to your house so you run back and forth to use the guest bathroom sink while preparing the food for said guests--ignoring the fact that you will have no way to clean up after them when they leave at 3:00 a.m.

There are days when you read her and you almost wet your pants because holy crap is she funny, but then you secretly plot to steal her brain because you know you'll never be that funny, but then you secretly thank the goddess of discount designer shoes that she walks this planet at the same time you do.

There are days when your six year-old mumbles the word "evaporate" as he's drifting off to sleep so he can commit the new word to memory and your heart just explodes with pride, but then you remember five minutes earlier he was telling you about the "masagna" he had for dinner and you decide that he might not get that Nobel after all.

There are days when you don't think your blogging is ever going to amount to much and then you get invited to this super-swanky, invite-only reception for the premiere of a new movie and you decide that you might not abandon your blog after all, until you get to the super-swanky, invite-only party and they play Kung Fu Fighting over and over and over again for two hours straight and there is no alcohol, so you decide that the party was secretly a punishment and you were invited because your blog sucks big black licorice-flavored turds.

There are days when your friend complains over email about all the traveling they must do over the summer and your inner bitch can be silenced no more so she sends a snide reply suggesting that the person have a terrific summer and contact her when they actually want to talk, but then your bitch rethinks her rudeness and cancels the reply before it's sent. Still feeling pissy after the original reply is discarded, the bitch decides to send one anyway--just a bit snarkier this time--only to realize once that one is gone that they were both sent and now you just look like an idiot.

There are days when you can feel the scream begin deep in your stomach and as it rises you know that if you don't figure out soon what your purpose in life is there is no way you're going to prevent that scream from deafening those around you so you decide to tell your husband about it and he suggests you quash it by getting up earlier in the morning to make your children pancakes.

There are days you don't kill your husband.

There are days when you are little and you think it would be cool to have a retainer or a cast or something neato like that and then you grow up and you trip on the sidewalk because apparently a single step down can be dicey terrain to negotiate and you break your ankle and you get a cast and then the cast comes off and your ankle still doesn't heal and then you want to remove your leg at the knee and use the separated appendage to knock your orthopedist silly until he fixes you enough so that you can wear flip flops again, because damn it's finally flip flop weather.

Yep. There are days.

My Medicated Mother's Day

It's 9:00 p.m. and I just heard a trumpet played from my son's room.

What part of getting ready for bed this is I'm not sure.

Today is Mother's Day, and I had a wonderful day.

There are a number of reasons why I would be just as likely to be sitting here reporting the exacty opposite, but I'm not.

The last few days my head has been so quiet and I've felt more at ease and able to just be than has been possible in...well honestly I can't remember.

Today I gardened in the rain. Today my ankle continued to hurt. Today my house was still messy. And today I still hadn't lost the weight I'd like to.

But today I was able to enjoy each minute for what it was and for that I'd personally like to french kiss my psychiatrist.

Modern medicine is an amazing thing!

A diagnosis of depression years and years ago was the jump start I needed to take back control of my ever-racing, self-insulting brain. Therapy and medication did wonders to lift the yoke I had been carrying--carrying for so long at that point that I felt positively weightless once it was removed.

Then marriage and children and life continued and I became convinced that I could handle it all and I didn't need to manage the depression anymore.

You can stop laughing now. Really. No, seriously it's getting annoying.

A brief stint back on the meds after giving birth, justified as the baby blues (read ridiculous PPD that I couldn't bring myself to name) and then heh heh heh I was fine. I would just wean myself right off that medication.

But darn if those years of therapy didn't actually come in handy.

I started to notice the signs. And much to my disbelief, I stood up for myself. I marched my ass right to the aforementioned doc and demanded something new. Okay it took me three years to do it, but I did.

A few dosage adjustments and a couple of months later and I freaking enjoyed a dreary Mother's Day because I was able to enjoy the single moments that made it up.

Now back to the bedtime, trumpet playing son.

We made the decision this year to treat his recently diagnosed ADHD with medication. My story should make it clear why I'm comfortable with this approach (along with close medical supervision, of course).

After just a few days, we had a son we could sit down and talk to. School came easier again and the sweet boy we had known had returned.

It was fairly miraculous. But I was familiar with this.

Now he's still very much a pre-teen boy, and I would have stopped the medicine immediately if he was anything but. But once again, I've been applying chapstick and hoarding the Binaca getting ready to maul his doc.

So why the trumpet playing?

Oh, because today he didn't take the wonder drug. And today, he spent most of the day picking at his brothers, talking back, not doing what was asked of him and bouncing off the walls--in other words, being reprimanded ALL day.

So tonight, this Mother's Day evening, I want to thank the mothers of the scientists who conducted the research and invented the drugs who make our lives better--not just those that improve our mental health, but our physical well-being too. Thank you for raising such brilliant people--and I promise I won't try to french kiss all of them.

Because of you, I enjoyed today and my son won't have to suffer many more days like he did today.

Thank you.

Do You Know About This?

Please take a moment to see what Jen and Odette are doing.

This project makes me smile and want to cry all at the same time.

When you read about it, I'm sure you're going to want to get involved as well.

My heart grows bigger just knowing there are people like this in the world.

WYSIWYG

Recently, at a rather quiet and refined gathering of bloggers, the topic of blog personas came up. The discussion involved the comparison of real life personalities to personalities asserted online and the fact that many times they are not the same.

I sort of scratched my head at this. I mean, sure, I know there are many talented writers who create wildly intricate stories that have nothing to do with their personal experiences, but when it comes to blogging... I don't know. It feels so personal to me. Now maybe it's my lack of talent, but I'd be hard-pressed to prevent my personality from seeping onto my blog.

My blog persona is my real life persona--for good or for bad.

In real life, and online, I find myself gravitating toward people who are genuine. Too many times in my life I've been confused by folks who will say one thing when you are alone but change their tune in front of others. When I was younger, I was just too trusting. Now that I'm older, I don't have the patience or energy to keep guessing.

Be yourself. I promise I'll like you much better that way--warts and all.

In fact, the warts often make folks far more interesting. I know the posts that strike me are often those that reveal the writer's imperfections and how they're approaching them.

It's certainly true about the post I nominated for this month's Perfect Post Award.

My incredible friend Steph reflected about recent challenges she's overcome and how she's decided that life is just too short not to be true to herself and those around her--despite the reactions that may cause.

I'd argue that Steph has been far more authentic than she might believe all along, but the message of her post was so right on.

She asked there and I'll ask here: do you think the world, your readers see your authentic self?

*********************
The Original Perfect Post Awards are brought to you each month by Petroville and Suburban Turmoil.

Dinner & Drinks

How many mommybloggers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Who cares? Last night, we had a girls' night out.

I was the lucky recipient of a dinner invitation from one of the coolest of coolio moms around, Sarah.

Dinner here at 7:00 with a few other mom bloggers, and sometime around midnight I climbed into bed.

So who was there?

Well there was Becky from Deep Muck Big Rake. And she brought Florida goodness for the kiddos. Thanks Becky!! This blog of Becky's is on the newer side. You definitely have to go check her out. She's definitely uncovering some stories that deserve your attention.

Then there was Mommy At Work. Like Sarah, MAW knows football. I also got to see her teensy weensy pedometer (oh yeah, she showed me her pedometer--jealous much?) which is very clearly not counting all of her steps.

Hitching a ride with MAW was Lumpyhead's Mom. She loves beer, poker and corndogs, so how could I not love her?! She also shared a secret with us--a secret that tested the laws of physics and frankly was very funny. And, it shall remain safe with me.

As if these women weren't enough fun, our group was joined by Devra of Parentopia and DC Metro Mom fame. Let's just say that once again I was blown away by how much energy and determination are packed into her tiny little frame--and she was wearing heels.

You might think that putting six mommybloggers together at the same table would lead to many words spoken and none heard, but that wasn't the case at all. Conversation flowed easily, we talked sports and parenting and blogging and politics and kiddos and geography, and five hours flew by.

Thanks ladies for a terrific evening. I hope to be invited again.

Perfectly Flawed

To me, the most precious reward of blogging is the sense of community it provides. I can interact with witty, funny, caring people thousands of miles away and share the commonalities of experience or learn about lives I might never come to understand if it weren't for the blogosphere. Through blogging I've discovered fellow political geeks, lovers of books and partners in crime. While reading blogs, I've laughed, I've cried (it's better than Cats), and I've learned that no matter how different or ridiculous we might feel at times there are others out there who are brave enough to let you know that you aren't alone.

"Overall, I thought I’d left alot of that fear-driven, decision making behind me. But as I look at my life, I realize I’ve deluded myself. The painful, ugly truth is that I’ve been too scared of rejection and failure to seize opportunities."

These are the words written by Lisa.

I was lucky enough to get to spend time with Lisa this summer at BlogHer after months of reading her blog Midwestern Mommy. Lisa is the kind of person you like immediately. She has a warm smile and such a comfortable sense about her. She didn't have to expose her inner self-doubt, but because she was brave enough to do so I feel a deeper connection to her and a little less alone in the world.

And my community grows.

As a way to thank Lisa, I nominated her post "Just Call Me Chicken" for a September Perfect Post Award.

For the list of all of this month's nominees, head on over to Petroville or Suburban Turmoil.

PS--I'd like to also thank the kick-ass J. over at Absolutely Bananas for nominating me this month. She'll probably never know how much I really appreciated the nod.

There Ain't No Party Like a DC Party

That's right. There's a big party going on in these parts and I'm cordially inviting you all to attend. Hop on over to the new cool site--DC Metro Moms.

Today was the big launch with a press release and everything. The cool chicks behind the Silicon Valley Moms and Chicago Moms blogs decided that DC offered some unique challenges to parenting and asked some of us if we would like to start one up here.

The collection of women who are participating is just too much for a little ole blogger like me to ask for. I'm still not sure how I got invited, but they haven't figured out yet that they asked the wrong girl so don't tell them, 'kay?

The blog is sure to offer a number of interesting perspectives on living in the DC area and parenting in general. I hope you'll stop on by and say hi.

It Has Come to My Attention

There is just a little over eight weeks until BlogHer 2007. I will be going to Chicago, sans kiddos, to tear up the town. The lovely Canape and I will be sharing a room, so I'll have a place to hide when I just can't shake Jessica (she swears she's going to stalk me, but we all know she won't be able to see me over the crowds that will surround her wherever she goes).

Anyway, the reason I'm so excited to be going (besides the fact that Canape is going to do my make-up) is the opportunity I'm going to have to meet in person (I hope) many of the incredible women I've gotten to know over the past ten months or so of blogging. They've made me laugh, cry, snort, think, recoil in horror, sing a song and cheer.

I know a trip to Chicago may not be in the budget for everyone, and if this is the case with you I want you to know how much you'll be missed. There are still others that I know would like to go but might not have a spouse that understands how important this conference is to them (shout out to Shakey for being incredibly understanding on this point). For this reason, I'm starting a petition.

See, I want to see Janet there.

Mr. Wonder Mom needs to know just how important blogging is to his wife, what an amazing network of women you are and how many of us want to meet his magnificent wife (why should he get to keep her all to himself?). So please add your name to this petition by leaving a comment to this post. And if you need us to get a petition started for you, just send me an email.

What are you waiting for? Read the statement and get commenting already!

We, the undersigned, think Janet aka Wonder Mom is indeed wonderful and we would grately appreciate the opportunity to spend time with her in Chicago at the BlogHer conference. Please find a way to make it possible for her to attend. You don't want an army of crazy bloggers after you now, do you?

Thank you for your attention to this matter.

Signed,
The Women of the Blogoverse

If You're Looking For Me

You can find me over at Gunfighter's today.

He offered me the opportunity to guest blog and even gave me a topic. How nice is that? Go check out his site. He's a good read.

In Case You Didn't Know

It's happened. We're all gay today.

Haaappy Birrrrth Day Mr. President...

I'm doing my best Marilyn Monroe here.

Well HIS name is Mr. Big Dubya isn't it?!

I wanted to wish you a very happy 40th Big D--with no jokes about old age.

Oh! And an old friend of yours wanted to send his regards as well...

Positively Perfect In Every Way

I have Stevie Wonder coursing through head. Granted I've changed the words a bit, but sing with me.

Isn't he lovely? Isn't he wonderful?
Isn't he precious? More than thirty years old.
I never knew through blogging I'd be
Reading someone as lovely as he
But isn't he lovely the one who blogs with love.

And who is this man? Why the amazing Kevin Charnas of course!

I nominated this post by Kevin for the April Perfect Post award. Honestly, there were a few more that followed that could have easily been nominated as well, but I'm impulsive and sent in my nomination the minute I read it. There were also these posts in April too.

Please take some time to go visit Kevin and read much more than this post. He is alternately the funniest, snarkiest, most sensitive and large-hearted person around. Oh, and I think he's okay too.

Holy Crap!

The woman who first won my heart in the blogosphere nominated me?!! This silly blog where I let spew the inane thoughts clogging my brain? Shoot, I was just using it as an excuse to delay cleaning. I know, I know, Mom. I've been successfully doing THAT since before Al Gore invented the internet.

But check this out...



Thanks Karrie. I'm humbled that you'd even think of me. Can't wait to lay eyes on you in Chicago!!

Mamma: The Rolling Stone Interviews

Rolling Stone called and wanted an exclusive with a nerd girl super-cool blogger. I told them I was sorry, but they'd have to get in line behind the two cracked journalists who had already submitted their requests (oh, okay! They offered to throw me some questions and jumped all over the chance).

First from Wonder Mom.

1. New Orleans makes me feel:
Happy. At home. Warm. Creative. Carefree. There is just something about having lived there. It became part of who I am. I wish I could lay more claim to the city than just four short years, but I’ll take those. It is by far my favorite city in the country. The greatest thing about New Orleans is that it’s warts and scars are part of its charm. I guess I’m just a sucker for character.

2. What's the most boring day you have ever had?
Oh what I wouldn’t give for a boring day! It’s so hard to think back far enough to find one. You know there isn’t one that immediately comes to mind, but if I were to guess, I’d say it probably involved a family road trip when I was a kid stuck in the back seat with my sister. I’m sure she spent the entire trip “on my side.”

3. What is your favorite keepsake from motherhood?
I’d say it has to be the photographs. The boys are all growing so quickly that I’m shocked when I look back at pictures from just last year and notice how much they’ve changed. I love capturing their smiles, their funny faces, their fashion statements.

4. Do you still want to be a rock star?
Definitely!! You have no idea how cool I think it would be to rock out on stage, belting out amazing tunes. Of course, I’d be stick skinny and probably dress like Joan Jett. I’d want to kick-ass but have a soft side too. Unfortunately, there’s a better chance of me winning the Pulitzer Prize for blogging (and you’ve read my blog) than there is of me developing the ability to carry a tune.

So instead I don my iPod and pretend when I’m all alone.

5. I saw you posted this is June..update it. Mamma loves...
This all goes back to the origin of my blog’s name. I have this fantasy of opening my own shoe boutique. I want to call it Mamma Loves Shoes (because I do indeed LOVE shoes). Since that didn’t look like it was going to happen in the near future, I adapted the title for my blog. The idea was that I would talk about things I loved and things I didn’t. I couldn’t stick to the format but the name was already there.

Today Mamma Loves…

All of her guys
Her family
P-Funky
The book club girls
Friends in low places
Her bloggy friends
Danger Doll (for the free advice that even a ludite like me could use to pretty up the joint)
Her adopted twin nieces (and their mamma of course)
The Latvian Princess

(and in no particular order)
A day at the spa
Mojitos
Shoes
Good music
The sound of her guys’ laughter
Warm sunshine
Long, passionate kisses
Her garden
Shoes
End-of-the-year bonuses
Massages
Comments (yes I'm a whore for a good comment--so leave one dammit)
A great bag (a girl can dream)
The beach
Diet Coke
Shoes
Helicopter rides
Hawaii
The perfect color lipstick
Laughing
Shoes


And from Mrs. Chicky

1. How old were you when you got your first kiss? What were thecircumstances?
With tongue? That would be sixth grade—which is horrifying since my oldest is finishing up fifth grade now. I can remember it like it was yesterday. I was standing at the corner of the school building on my way to my bus and my “boyfriend” Chris told me he wanted me to walk the long way with him and when he was sure no one was looking he laid one on me. I think I was shocked. I may have kissed him back, but I’m sure it couldn’t have been for more than a few seconds and then I ran for my bus blushing like you wouldn’t believe. I’ve definitely refined my skills since then.

2. If you could pick to go anywhere, where is the perfect vacationdestination?
A sparsely populated Caribbean beach with my own cabana boy to bring me frozen fruity drinks, adjust my umbrella, ensure the proper coverage of suntan lotion and fan me as necessary.

3. Did you play sports in high school? If yes, which one(s)? If no, why?
Ah yes, I was a tennis player. I wasn’t very good at sticking to a practice schedule, but it was fun. I wish I still played as much as I did. I’ve been thinking about getting back into it.

4. Favorite movie couple: Hepburn and Tracy or Jolie and Pitt?
No contest. Hepburn and Tracy hands down. Katharine Hepburn is one of my idols. What an incredible woman.

5. What is your favorite article of clothing that you own?
Now you’d think it would be a pair of shoes, but right now I’m not in love with any particular pair I own. I’d have to say it’s my denim jacket. It seems to go with almost anything. I’ve worn a denim jacket in one form or another since middle school—not the same one, don’t worry. I think it sort of sums up my personality. I used to be a tomboy as a kid but I’m definitely became more girly in high school—not too girlie though. I’ll wear a skirt and flats and then throw on my denim jacket to head out. I don’t know. I guess it makes me feel like I can be dressed up but I still don’t have to take life too seriously.

I'd like to thank my two gracious interviewers for their terrific questions. Should you like a reason to tell Rolling Stone "NO," just give me a shout and I'll send some questions your way.

Insert Cheesy Prom Theme Here

Aeeeahheahhhhhhh!!! ((((hugs)))) (air kiss) (air kiss)

Oh. My. God! Y'alllllll. I'm so glad you're here!

Can you believe it?! It's our prom!!

You look SUH good! You're dress is gorgeous! And your hair....! Did you get it done? You had to have it done. Those tendrils. The curls. And look it doesn't move when you dance.

We went to the BEST party before dinner.

Look at all the couples. The guys all matched their cummerbunds and bowties to our dress or corsages.

EVERYONE was at the pre-prom party. We tried to sneak in some wine coolers. But her parents were SO uncool. We had to wait until we got in the limo.

Did you hear Arlene and Lynn got a limo for 14 people! It might have been big, but ours IS the party limo.

We had the coolest driver. He totally put up the privacy glass and didn't want to know WHAT we were doing in the back. The eight of us had the BEST ride over.

Did you have your picture taken yet? You HAVE to do it before you start dancing. You don't want to look all sweaty in your prom picture. I mean it's your PROM picture. You're going to have it forever!

What are you doing after? G got the radest hotel room. Y'all should come by.

OMG!! THAT is my favorite song. Gotta go dance.

(over her shoulder) Come find me if you go to the bathroom. I HAVE to show you my thigh highs!! G is so excited. He can't wait to see them. Hee hee hee hee.

Summer Lovin'

Happend so fast. Summer lovin'. Someone was having a blast.

Actually a number of someones.

Something about the pre-Fourth of July weekend must have been damn sexy in the late 60's/early 70's, because, as I've discovered cruising the blogosphere this week, there are a ton of last week of March babies running around.

For instance, there's my British friend, a Pissed-Off Housewife and then Kristin's husband. Speaking of husbands, Deb gets to celebrate hers with a husband who has culinary skills!

And there's been some recent additions to this prestigious club as well. Check out the link. The sextuplets are ADORABLE!! And one of the kiddos over at the Circus is celebrating as well this week.

All fabulous people of course. You know how I know? Cause I'm one of them!

Thirty-six years ago tonight I was all warm and cozy, ignorant of the cold cruel world. Some time during the next 24 hours the kid--who I like to say was conceived in the back of a Trans-Am most likely to Led Zepplin--was brought into this world. Lucky for me there was an incredible women waiting for just such a baby to be born and ten short days later I was hers.
She's been stuck with me ever since. Seriously, you should feel sorry for my mom.

Okay, enough pitiful attempts to garner some birthday wishes...we have some real love to talk about.

First, I still haven't been asked to the prom, BUT I do have a date to BlogHer. I am going, and I'm happy to report that the southern darling Canape (pronounced in her language as can-I-pee?) has asked me and I have gladly accepted.

Are you so jealous or what?

I got the cutest girl at the event to invite ME. Can you believe it?! Yeah, me either. I'm so excited I can barely stand it, but more on BlogHer and my fabulous date later.

What I'm jazzed about at this particular moment is that we are just hours away from our first annual blog prom weekend!

Over the next three days the folks on the guest list to the right will be blogging about their prom experience, or lack of prom experience, or about proms in general (hey it's the blogosphere--and I'm not that into rules). So join us if you'd like! And don't worry about getting a date. You'd just dump them as soon as you got there so you could hang out with us anyway.

Tell me you're coming and I'll add you to the guest list. And Leah--there was no link to your blog in my comments. Email me the address and I'll add you.

Oh, and there may be a prize, but don't tell anyone.

Now dig out those pictures. Make new ones. Tell us about prom. And get around to meet all of the guests. Mingle dammit! That's an order!

You wouldn't want to disappoint a girl on her birthday. Would you?!

Don't Piss the Mommies Off!!

A giant THANK YOU to all of the terrific folks who reached out to me today with the supportive comments. I will come back and properly thank you in a moment, but now? Now I must go yell at MySpace.

I'm sure you've heard, they're removing breastfeeding pictures--but the soft-core porn shots of all the teenage girls can stay. I'm off to go set up an account and post a breastfeeding image.

I'll be back.