Saturday, November 03, 2007

Quick! Call the Doctor!

I think I broke my funny bone.

See! That's the best I can do right now. It's pathetic.

I spent last winter and spring walking through life witnessing all sorts of moments that just begged for a humorous interpretation on this here blog and now? My blog is getting all serious with posts written from my heart and crap like that. I mean how will I ever regain my cred with him or her or her or him or him or her or him? Heh. That's funny. Like I evah had cred with them.

What are my typical go-to topics?

Sex: Haven't stopped any lines at the airports lately to have a dildo inspected.

Kids: No one's been naming body parts lately.

School: Well I was in charge of the annual Fun Fair Cake Walk, but there was nothing funny about crawling around on the floor of the school to tape down letters so already over-weight America could win the 124 cakes that were donated for the event. (Oh and a big BRAAAGH! to the woman who went to Costco, bought the three bread box and split them up and wrapped them individually to make it look like she baked them herself. Own it if you don't bake sweetheart, but don't try to make it look like you slaved away all day.)

Hair Removal: My esthetician went on vacation for two weeks! Trust me. Nothing fun(ny) there at all.

Family: Dad hasn't tried to set my brother up with any other starlets lately. If I get desperate for material (or bored) I might just offer him up on eBay soon.

Politics: SO not funny right now.

See?

Is there a doctor in the house? It's a matter of humor or death. Quick. Send help.

15 Deserve Mamma's Love:

Maureen said...

Ha! I think the Costco thing was funny... I can just see her presenting her contribution with faux pride. Wow, some people.

And remember, funny happens when you're NOT looking for it.

BOSSY said...

Well, this is funny: Bossy is a finalist for the Weblog Award for Funniest Blog, but she didn't know about it until everyone else in the category had thousands of votes already and - did Bossy mention you can vote every 24-hour - except even after Bossy found out about it she still didn't tell anyone except for her dad and he voted like three times and... this is funny, right?

Anyway, stop by Bossy's place for a chocolate covered vote.

PunditMom said...

How about a good second-grader knock knock joke?

OMSH said...

You know, I didn't think you'd out me on your blog. I thought WE WERE FRIENDS. I swear, I didn't mean to pretend I baked all that, but its just ... that ... I just found out I have to have foot malformation surgery to re-form my ... um ... foot, yea-that's it, next week, but only my proctologist visit where I dig your foot out of ...

oh, excuse me.
I'm ... um ... sorry.

heh heh

Kristi said...

You will NEVER lose your cred with me. Especially if you keep up the dildo stories.

Neil said...

I thought this post was funny. So, there.

Attila The Mom said...

I thought it was pretty funny too! LOL

I'm sorry I haven't been commenting much lately---for some reason, every time I try to load your blog it freezes up my computer, dammit!

QT said...

Funny happens when you aren't expecting it. It will come around, no worries, woman.

But that bread story - I hate it when people do that, too ~

Beth said...

You've still got it!
Even writing about not being funny, you're funny...

Oh, The Joys said...

A,
Cred? You have ALWAYS had cred with me. I come here for every single post you write. I don't care what you say about that. CRED for DAYS, WEEKS, YEARS.

Shaddup.

Love you,
J

Mitch McDad said...

Farts = Funny. Always have; always will. Lilly farted in the tub tonight. Did we all laugh? Hell yes! See. More farts-more laughs.

It's just science.

andi said...

I feel your pain. I've been getting far too serious as of late. If you find the funny doctor, send him my way.

Oh, and you? You're funny without even trying. The proof is in the post.

Becky said...

Would it KILL you to be funny? Oh, wait. How about a margarita?

Heather, Queen of Shake-Shake said...

Go with the serious! Ride it and see where it takes you. Your funny bone is fine.

Lawyer Mama said...

My funny is broken too. Let me know if you find a cure.