Allow Me to Fall on my Sword
I don't want to mislead people about the benefits of the BlogHer conference. I really did meet some incredibly, wonderful women and attended some thought-provoking sessions. I had a chance to put faces with the voices that have become staples in my blog reading--and found out that they are even more beautiful in real life. The food was good (especially for a group that big), most people were VERY friendly, and there was a ton of swag (even if there were Butterball pot holders thrown in with the good stuff).
I was merely talking about a reaction I was having to reading blogs post-conference. This is my experience and mine alone. And it is probably happening because of some unresolved flaw in my personality. Lord knows there are plenty to choose from.
I won't remove the post because I had to blog it out, and I'm hoping that by doing so I got the feeling out of my system, but I don't want to discourage others. I will most likely attend BlogHer next year if I'm still blogging.
All this second-guessing. UGH! I guess I just don't know why I do this. What I'm really saying, and honestly, if I'm just a big ole blogging fraud.
So to recap,
1. BlogHer was great. Go next year if you can.
2. I'm a big fat dork, and don't know why I have a blog.
31 Deserve Mamma's Love:
No more slamming yourself! I'd say from the comments on your last post, you weren't alone (well, I happen to KNOW you aren't alone) in your feelings about the conference. The problem isn't that you're a dork, it's that you had higher expectations than many of the people there. And honestly it's refreshing to read a post that doesn't say, "Oh wow I just LOVE my BlogHer girlfriends (gush gush). BlogHer is SOOO not like high school (gush gush) etc." it makes me feel the need to gag!
I think part of the perceived clique-iness was the problem of trying to balance spending a decent amount of time with certain people you feel really close to, and meeting as many people as possible. You just can't do it all (that's what I found anyway).
I hope you keep blogging!
Oy. Enough. Take it back. You are entitled to your opinion. Which I totally agree with. Which means you are correct in what you thought because I am ALWAYS right.
Anyway, I totally dig you. I mean, I'd let you hang in my playhouse and day of the week.
I think Metro Mama hit it on the nose there. At least that's the problem I had. And some people already seemed to KNOW each other (probably from BlogHer last year) and it's always hard to break into an established group.
We'll both go next year and make a concerted effort to make everyone there for the first time feel welcome. OK?
Are you referring the "have a focus for your blog" that I keep reading about? Cause, eh, I don't have one and don't know where to find it. But I'll keep blogging because I can't shut up.
And now I'm off to click on all your links to learn more.
What Absolutely Bananas said. That girl rules.
Never apologize for being honest. I think Jenny's comment in the other post was very wise. It takes courage to speak honestly. You're not launching ad hoc personal attacks, just explaining that while you enjoyed many aspects of the conference, there were some things that you did not like. Totally ok! (At least in my book itis..lol)
Jurgen & Cool Beans, I'm not blogging now, but I'll click over and say hello.
Oops. Ad hominem. Never toss out the fancy words in the comment field while making dinner and bathing a child all at once. :)
Yeah, what Jenny said.
Sorry I have not more intelligent to add....glad to hear you're not quitting this here blogging stuff!
The other gals are absolutely right. Don't apologize for having an opinion.
Frankly, though I am and was somewhat envious of those who attended Blogher, I was really very doubtful that I would actually enjoy it..for all the reasons you stated.
I've never been one of the "in" crowd, both by choice and by happenstance, and I don't suppose Blogher would have been any exception.
Don't fall on your sword please. I hate for women to commit intellectual hari-kari because the are afraid of what other women might say.
Good for your speaking your mind. It's refreshing to hear an honest account for a change.
I like your honesty. Don't feel you need to apologize. Sometimes I consider turning my comments off just to be sure I am not influenced by comments (or a lack of them). Keep keepin' it real, sista!
I didn't go but want to go next year and I'd be lying if I didn't say I had the fear of cliques and hierarchy.
I love that you expressed your feelings because really isn't that what having a blog is all about anyway (although it is certainly fun to get/read comments)
Go Mamma!!!
Next year, we're sharing a room and sticking together. And if anyone is rude to us, or acts better than us, I'll get mouthy enough for both of us, and take 'em down a peg.
And we all know I can wield profanities like a fuckin' light saber.
Just read both posts.
You are NOT a dork.
Just remember why you began to blog, what you love about it, how it has expanded your life and all the wonderful people you've met.
Stats become meaningless once you've found blog friends you care about and who care about you.
And why do you have a blog? Because you write well - with honesty and from the heart - and you want to express yourself and connect with others.
You and I might not leave comments on each others' blogs on a regular basis, but you have "been there" for me when it really counted.
Don't stop blogging!
Nooo... Don't stop blogging. I think Metro Mama has a good point. But yes, there were some clique-stuff. That wasn't in your head.
I just read your two last posts. I loved the honesty.
I wasn't at Blogher, therefore I have no opinion on it, but your post was refreshing. And real.
See, the thing is, if you walk around life in a fog than you're completely oblivious to concepts like exclusion. Had I been more aware, perhaps I might have noticed what you did. But I didn't. I was thrilled to meet people whenever and wherever I encountered them - like YOU (even though it was post-cocktail party on Saturday night). Still - I'm glad I did.
I just read you blog for the first time and I really enjoyed it. Now, I am not sure what blogher is and my blog is just a baby blog, so I am definetly not in the know. But it kept me interested and entertained. So I say don't stop! You have an interesting voice, let it be heard. :)
You are NOT a big fat dork.
You are sweet and smart and sensitive and you are honest. I like that about you.
You can't stop blogging. I won't let you.
It is tough to walk away from a weekend with 800 women and wonder if a few people gave you the cold shoulder. There are just so many women there, and I'm sure some felt safer in smaller groups with people they already knew than branching out more.
And yeah, the food was great, wasn't it? Much better than last year's.
I just read both your posts and I got kind of sad thinking you — or anyone — was feeling excluded at BlogHer. Personally, I was delighted to meet you. And I can't imagine anyone who wasn't!
But you do this because we're all making connections, and that's what life is about.
For me, it's about sharing my art and my life with people who want to share back.
I'm with the others who said don't back off your opinion and feelings! They're real (and sound justified). I see cliques in comments on blogs, and am not surprised to hear a report that in person certain people were that way. Meeting some of the funniest bloggers could ruin them for me completely, I bet! Like hearing what a jerk Mel Gibson has become (after all my years of pining!).
Do what feels right for you alone.
See, it's the estrogen factor. Just like playgroups, only bigger. You get that many women together and I'm sorry, I don't buy all of the gushy blogs over how great BlogHer was...there had to be some estrogen-ness too it.
I'm glad you were honest about it.
Next year, all the cool kids will want to hang out with YOU!
I would... you're pretty cool.... for a chick in a cast.
I think it's awesome that you were honest about your feelings and opinions - good for you!!
No way - keep doing your thing. A little honesty never hurt anybody! Oh, well, maybe...
Ohhhhh.. don't say that..
you're blog is great fun..
(I should quit blogging ... I only talk about news stuff and things that tick me off ... I'm like a little reporter .... I need to get out more, I swear ... I don't have a life anymore .... I used to be funny)
You're so sweet to include me. It was so great to meet you. I did feel like I didn't get to spend any quality time with many women, and I've been telling myself some of my own feelings about this stem from that. Will the left over high school feelings ever go away?
You fell on your sword when you got back from BlogHer? Well I broke the 11th Commandment "Thou Shalt Not Go Bare Foot In Thy Garage" and broke three toes when I got back from BlogHer.
Wanna trade?
that would be me, "Devra" who broke my toes. Aviva is fine. She isn't breaking commandments. Well, none I am aware of at least.
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