Friday, October 31, 2008

The Mamma Loves Halloween Tradition


And no, that's not me. I still can't get all of the paint off from the balloons I had done for the hub's birthday.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

A Pumpkin Pictorial (with commentary)

Like all Great Pumpkins, our's started out something like this.

Though I just photographed this one and left it for someone else to pick.

Ours actually looked more like this:

Don't mind the warts (on the pumpkin, not my son) he had a very nice shape--until I performed the craniotomy...

Now if you're new here you might not know that I am surrounded by males. I'm currently shacking up with four men--okay three sons and one husband. Semantics.

Anyhow, I thought boys liked gross things.

But apparently not.

At least he wasn't as sad about pumpkin guts as he was about his lack of a black nose a few Halloweens ago.

And yes, despite the break from traditional Muppetry, I did give the poor kid a black nose--using make-up--so he could look like his brother. I mean wouldn't you? Look at that face.

But back to the pumpkins...and the wimpy boys in my house.

Like most men, he only wanted to help if he could use tools.

And soon he abandoned me when I refused, for the sixth time, to allow him to wield the knife. What? I think all 10 of his fingers may come in handy later (that was a bad pun and not at all intended when I wrote it, but now it's cracking me up so it stays).

And I don't know what's so gross about this anyway?

Doesn't everyone love the way pumpkins seeds feel when they're all wet and clean in the strainer?

What's with the crickets??


So abandoned to my pumpkins and with seeds separated from their stringy friends, I set forth to carve.

Hours later I ended up with this:

Why didn't anyone tell me how hard it is not to carve all the way into a pumpkin? There's GOT to be a trick I don't know. Should have googled it.

By the way, that's a white pumpkin, which makes the BOO more appropriate but I'm still figuring out all the settings on my camera. masterpiece:

Sure I used a stencil, but her nose?? I don't mean to be a witch or anything but that was a bitch to cut out.

Please don't focus on the wax pencil 12 above her. Why did the pumpkin patch mark the best side?? Oh and let me know if you have a trick for getting that off.

To top off the project, Vaseline has been applied and cinnamon has been sprinkled. We're ready for Friday night.

Hmmm...that didn't exactly come out the way I meant it to.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Moms on the Town

What do you get when you bring together a bunch o' mammas (w/o kids), some libation and designated drivers?

That was my Friday night with the DC Metro Moms.

(you might be wondering if that is really grey hair at my roots, but I swear it's just one single bright light shining on my head and only my head--I swear!!)

Every time I get together with this amazingly beautiful, smart and hysterical group of women, I wonder who in the hell ever invited me (oh yeah, hi Jill, Beth and Tekla!!! *waves*).

I could have used another three hours to really get the chance to talk to everyone in there, but I was too busy stalking Aimee, Jessica, Diana, KC, Leticia, Stacey, Stacy and Kim; hugging on Sandie; patting the bellies of Victoria and Kristen; trying to prevent Devra, Sarah and Jodi from taking over the bar; embarrassing myself with tales of sex toys in front of Jess or yelling at Linda from across the room, I had a terrific time.

Of course I need to say a special thanks to Nicole for putting together such a great party and to GM for graciously sponsoring it.

(for the record this photo is right side up on my computer but Blogger isn't cooperating--seems to appropriate for a photo of Dev anyway, doesn't it?)

Oh and to my loser friends who couldn't make their way out to Tyson's on Friday (Steph, Joanne, Kimberly, Susan) well... see if I stalk you next time.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Busy contemplating the critical issues facing humanity--or the sore joint on my left pinky--I looked up into my rear-view mirror on my drive home from work and noticed a red car behind me.

Then I looked in my side mirror, as is my habit to check all mirrors while I'm driving (I'm so safe) and there was another red car on my left.

Then I looked to my right...another red car. And in front of me? Another red car.

I was surrounded by red cars!

Okay so government agents and crime syndicates probably don't use red cars when going after a mark, but it was a little weird.

And then I looked up.

Yep. A black helicopter was flying overhead.

I'm not kidding.

Now I may not blog under my full name, but I don't wear tinfoil inside my hats. Shoot, I throw away magazines and catalogs with my name and address on them. In the trash. Without shredding the information!

You didn't know I was an international spy did you? Oh sure. I'm constantly evading convoys of red cars and black helicopters. It gets quite boring actually.

The whole suburban, working mommy blogger thing had you fooled didn't it?

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Oh Robert, I Loved You

Did you know how much I adored you?

Did you know that all these years later I can remember specific moments we spent together as clearly as the crisp days they occurred.

Maybe the memories seem clearer than they are because I have photos tucked away in an album. There I am looking at you with a big smile. Or there's the one where we're playing not realizing we're being photographed.


I had such a thing for older men then.

Or was it your twin brother Richard. It was always hard to tell you apart. Who knows. I was only five.

This memory is brought to you thanks to my friend Jennifer who was remember her own Robert today.

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

A Proactive Apology

My kids won't find the embarrassing stories I share with the world if I do it on another blog.


Just in case they do, let me say this.


I want you to know that I do remember what it was like to be a pre-teen and I'm not unsympathetic. It's just that I'm discovering there are certain traditions that are the rights of every parent. And when you become parents yourselves, I fully expect you to "torture" my grandbabies in the exact same way.

Please know my sweet things that the "fights" I put up to your attempts to fit in are only for show--and I am giggling in my head the whole time. For I know hormones are taking over your body, which is prohibiting you from exhibiting any normal sort of behavior--kinda like demonic possession without the projectile vomiting (there better not be any projectile vomiting).

Sharing some of your stories with my friends?? It's just that a mamma has to do something to maintain her sanity.

I love you forever,

Thursday, October 02, 2008

Gov. Palin, Stop the Blame Game

The following letter was written by a friend of mine who is just so exasperated by Gov. Palin' that she fired off this letter off to our dinner group. It is reprinted here with her permission. You may often see her commenting on this blog as Harried Mom of Three. I'm trying to convince her to start her own blog.

Dear Ms. Palin:

As a liberal, feminist, woman, I am not upset that John McCain picked you for what your supporters deem my “opposition to a pro-life, spunky, good looking woman.” What I am opposed to is that you are a woman who seems to have gotten to the top for ONLY being pro-life, spunky and good looking and for not having any other substance.

My great hope was that when a woman was a hair’s breath away from the top office of the land that she would actually be able to handle the job. Over the last week, you have proved that you cannot handle even the largest softball of questions from Katie Couric of all people.

How, as an American citizen and a mother, am I supposed to trust that you’ll be able to outwit world leaders when you can’t even outwit America’s journalistic sweetheart?

And, please, please stop talking about journalistic "gotchas." We’re not giving you a pop quiz. We’re trying to figure out what you are made of and whether or not we want to select you for one of the most important job in this country. You should be able to answer questions thrown at you, including naming ONE newspaper from your great state that you might read in a regular basis.

I will admit that Barack Obama has never held an executive position in government--and I’m nervous about that. However, I’m willing to give him some leeway, because he’s proven on a regular basis that he’s thoughtful, intelligent and well read.

There’s a reason that “Joe Six-Pack” shouldn’t be (vice) president and it’s because it’s a hard job filled with lots of responsibilities and it involves making many important decisions.

Stop blaming the media for YOUR inability to answer questions, stop blaming liberal women for your inability to snow these voters into supporting you and stop blaming Gwen Ifill for being biased. If your running mate's campaign didn't know she wrote that book back in August when they agreed to her as moderator of your debate then I'm afraid they read the paper as infrequently as you do.