It's Definitely Not Cancer, so I'm Sure it's Something Much Worse

The other day I was went to enter my home phone number into a form and I couldn't remember it.

The information just wasn't there.

It was so frightening. I had to ask my 7 year-old our phone number.

A couple of weeks ago, I was driving home with my whole family in the car after a night out with friends. We were talking about another neighborhood and all of the sudden I focused on the road and didn't know where I was. For a minute, I thought I was in the other neighborhood and couldn't figure out exactly where in it I was. I shook my head and knew where I was again. It all happened so fast, but it seemed to go on forever.

My heart was pounding. I tried to laugh it off.

Tonight I was talking about The Princess Bride with a friend. I was listing off all of the people in the movie: Peter Falk, Mandy Patankin, the kid from the Wonder Years and...not Robin Williams...his friend...he's a big Yankees fan...he's a comic too..."you look mah-velous!"...he's balding...damn what is his name??

Yeah. Billy Crystal. I couldn't remember Billy Crystal's name!

I'm a little freaked out. Is it normal to be forgetting information like this? It's like I go to the place where it should be in my head and it's just blank--I may even hear a swift breeze blowing through.

The hypochondriac in me is convinced it's early onset Alzheimer's or a clot or some other horrific disease that will make every one feel sorry for me yet not sorry enough that they'll come and visit me when I'm drooling on myself and muttering something about vibrators. The cynic in me says I'm just a garden-variety, batshit-crazy woman with three kids, a job, a house, a few hobbies, some volutneer commitments and low-blood sugar overreacting.

If it's Alzheimer's, remind me to be really pissed.

Would It Kill You?

There are a disturbingly great number of you who are visiting this site for the sole purpose of learning more about Howie Long's hair.*

Really?!

Of all the things you can Google, THAT is what you want to know? I mean had you already exhausted all of your porn phrases?

You need a life.

I can recommend one way to begin redeeming yourself. Leave a comment below. Tell me a little about yourself. Share a joke. Make me smile. Hell, just say hi and let me know you were here (actually I know you were here--I can see it in my stat counter--but it feels so cheap the way you just sneak in and out without ever turning the light on).

I know. I know. I could be writing more frequently. I've lacked inspiration lately, plus I was too busy trying to find out more details for you on the whole Howie Long "hair plugs or not?" story.

He's not talkin.


*Once...a very long time ago...I questioned whether or not Howie Long had hair plugs after seeing him in a Super Bowl ad. To this day, I get my biggest numbers after Sunday football coverage. You all are weird.

By the way, it's taking everything I have not to find my way to Haiti to lend a hand. I wrote about my feeling of helplessness on DC Metro Moms today.

In a Better Mood

Leave it to PFunky to set me straight--and some uplifting words from Laurie to put me on a better track.*

I've been pissed off all day. On Twitter I was reading about all the "GREAT" and "FANTASTIC" plans people have for the new year. Everyone was so freaking chipper. Apparently I only follow the uber-achievers whose sole purpose in life is to make me feel like a big gigantic loser by comparison.

Where am I going? What am I going to do next? What have I accomplished so far? What do I have to show for my time on this planet? Why was it again I went away to college? And moved away from home? How the heck am I going to make the changes I really want to make in my life?

Oh yeah, and I'm going to be 40 in 2010.

It wasn't a pretty day.

Just moments ago, I was reminded that we are putting another decade on the books (I mean I knew this, but I didn't really THINK about it), and then I started to think about my life 10 years ago.

The roof that is over my head? Didn't belong to me yet.

The kind people I work for now? Hadn't met 'em yet.

The three crazy, rambunctious, big-hearted boys who make me want to both pull out all my hair and laugh hysterically every single day? One just went back home to live with his mom and the other two were a vague concept.



I may not be world-famous (yet). I may not be the hottest mommy in town (yet). I may even still have that nasty Diet Coke habit (let's not get too hasty with our resolutions), but I do have a life I couldn't conceive of just ten years ago.

Makes me wonder how I'll look back ten years from now.


*I hope you know how much your words meant to me today--always.