Wednesday, July 08, 2009

Clearly She's Been Working Out (or in?)

Mamma here ever prepared to keep you up to date on breaking news.

This morning we learned that a new Guinness world record has been set!

While I'm inspired by the fact that there is still time for me to challenge this record, my desire to dig deeper into the story for you, my readers, was not satisfied.

My first question, of course, was "well who holds the record for the world's strongest pen*s?"

Before I could find that answer though, I came upon this headline.

Typical. It wasn't the woman's accomplishment.

Wanting to get the rest of the story, I didn't allow myself to become distracted and went right to Google followed more leads in search of the record holder.

It seems the folks at Guinness aren't as concerned with finding the world's strongest pen*s (male judges can't handle the competition, hmmm?).

The best information I could find was at least a year old and comes to us from the far East. (do not click w/small children on lap; however, if you have teen-aged boys call them over immediately and tell them this is what you'll do to them if they have sex before they are 35.)

My journalistic blogging instincts told me not to trust that source. I was suspicious of the fact that the gentleman's back is turned to us and that he is naked except for a strap around his waist.

I continued my search for two more minutes and found that World's Strongest Pen*s remains a record yet to be set. A certain company claims to have "the world's strongest pen*s enlargement formula", but I'm fairly certain drug use would disqualify you from the the title.

So readers, what did we learn today?

You're never too old to set a Guiness world record (Get Kegeling* girls. We can't let the Russians beat us!). AND, guys start "lifting." You still have a chance to be the first!


*Am I the only one who finds the irony in the name and product line of this company?

4 Deserve Mamma's Love:

PFunky said...

Now that's something to ask my husband tonight...I'm still confused how to judge that competition, but I'm sure there's a porn site ready to service!!!

Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah said...

I'm on it.

flutter said...

I wonder if you have to have a Brazilian to do that effectively. Because, sorry ripping hair out with a weight? yeow.

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