In a Better Mood

Leave it to PFunky to set me straight--and some uplifting words from Laurie to put me on a better track.*

I've been pissed off all day. On Twitter I was reading about all the "GREAT" and "FANTASTIC" plans people have for the new year. Everyone was so freaking chipper. Apparently I only follow the uber-achievers whose sole purpose in life is to make me feel like a big gigantic loser by comparison.

Where am I going? What am I going to do next? What have I accomplished so far? What do I have to show for my time on this planet? Why was it again I went away to college? And moved away from home? How the heck am I going to make the changes I really want to make in my life?

Oh yeah, and I'm going to be 40 in 2010.

It wasn't a pretty day.

Just moments ago, I was reminded that we are putting another decade on the books (I mean I knew this, but I didn't really THINK about it), and then I started to think about my life 10 years ago.

The roof that is over my head? Didn't belong to me yet.

The kind people I work for now? Hadn't met 'em yet.

The three crazy, rambunctious, big-hearted boys who make me want to both pull out all my hair and laugh hysterically every single day? One just went back home to live with his mom and the other two were a vague concept.



I may not be world-famous (yet). I may not be the hottest mommy in town (yet). I may even still have that nasty Diet Coke habit (let's not get too hasty with our resolutions), but I do have a life I couldn't conceive of just ten years ago.

Makes me wonder how I'll look back ten years from now.


*I hope you know how much your words meant to me today--always.

Post-Holiday Stress Disorder

I'm not sure what it is--the letdown after the holidays, looking back at a year, anticipating a new one. Whatever it is it has me in a foul mood and wondering if a good, snot-filled cry would make it better.

While everyone else is excited for a new year and new resolutions, I'm sitting here this morning filled with anxiety and wanting to hide.

Being responsible for your own happiness is overwhelming sometimes. There are so many things I have to pretend not to see or feel that it becomes exhausting--like playing a role eight days a week.

Fake it till you make it?

My stiff neck and nasty zits say otherwise.

Playing with my Baby--My Lensbaby

As someone whose attention is piqued whenever photography is discussed, I'd heard the name Lensbaby thrown about quite a bit. The company has been good about using social media to market, but I didn't know quite what to expect.

I asked for one as a lark for Christmas (as I try to decide if I'm going to pull the trigger on my f2.8 24-70mm).

The day after the big day was sunny, so I went outside to play.


I'm not sure yet how I would use the lens in a professional sense, but it's definitely fun to play with. The accessory kit is a must for the fun aspect of the lens. In addition to a wide angle and telephoto lens and a macro kit, it comes with disks you can design yourself to create different spectral light shapes (star and heart included in kit).

There is some fine print on the Lensbaby site about it not talking to a variety of Nikon cameras (mine included) which made me think twice about using the lens, but don't be dissuaded. If you shoot in manual, you know all you need to to work with the lens. My biggest concern was that the internal light metering wouldn't work, but it was just fine.

So in the end, I'm looking forward to experimenting more with my new Lensbaby. Do you have one? What do you like the most about it? What do you use it for (you know, other than taking pictures)?

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This post is not sponsored. I received the lens as a gift from my husband and was in no way compensated for my words. And the fact that I have to write this on my own blog...it's you a$$holes who will blog for a free coupon who ruined it for the rest of us.