Mamma Loves...

There's New Stuff to Read

2010-02-27T22:54:00.003-05:00

Haven't updated your reader yet? I just posted something new.

I've moved to my own domain. I'd love for you to follow me over there.

Check it out at http://www.mammaloves.com

I"m Outta Here!

2010-02-20T12:45:00.005-05:00

After 502 posts, it's time to head out.

I've got a new home--grew out of this one. I hope you'll come visit me there (And there is new content!!!).

http://www.mammaloves.com

Update your GPS with the new location so you don't get lost on the way.

It's Definitely Not Cancer, so I'm Sure it's Something Much Worse

2010-01-20T19:16:00.003-05:00

The other day I was went to enter my home phone number into a form and I couldn't remember it.

The information just wasn't there.

It was so frightening. I had to ask my 7 year-old our phone number.

A couple of weeks ago, I was driving home with my whole family in the car after a night out with friends. We were talking about another neighborhood and all of the sudden I focused on the road and didn't know where I was. For a minute, I thought I was in the other neighborhood and couldn't figure out exactly where in it I was. I shook my head and knew where I was again. It all happened so fast, but it seemed to go on forever.

My heart was pounding. I tried to laugh it off.

Tonight I was talking about The Princess Bride with a friend. I was listing off all of the people in the movie: Peter Falk, Mandy Patankin, the kid from the Wonder Years and...not Robin Williams...his friend...he's a big Yankees fan...he's a comic too..."you look mah-velous!"...he's balding...damn what is his name??

Yeah. Billy Crystal. I couldn't remember Billy Crystal's name!

I'm a little freaked out. Is it normal to be forgetting information like this? It's like I go to the place where it should be in my head and it's just blank--I may even hear a swift breeze blowing through.

The hypochondriac in me is convinced it's early onset Alzheimer's or a clot or some other horrific disease that will make every one feel sorry for me yet not sorry enough that they'll come and visit me when I'm drooling on myself and muttering something about vibrators. The cynic in me says I'm just a garden-variety, batshit-crazy woman with three kids, a job, a house, a few hobbies, some volutneer commitments and low-blood sugar overreacting.

If it's Alzheimer's, remind me to be really pissed.

Would It Kill You?

2010-01-14T07:42:00.001-05:00

There are a disturbingly great number of you who are visiting this site for the sole purpose of learning more about Howie Long's hair.*

Really?!

Of all the things you can Google, THAT is what you want to know? I mean had you already exhausted all of your porn phrases?

You need a life.

I can recommend one way to begin redeeming yourself. Leave a comment below. Tell me a little about yourself. Share a joke. Make me smile. Hell, just say hi and let me know you were here (actually I know you were here--I can see it in my stat counter--but it feels so cheap the way you just sneak in and out without ever turning the light on).

I know. I know. I could be writing more frequently. I've lacked inspiration lately, plus I was too busy trying to find out more details for you on the whole Howie Long "hair plugs or not?" story.

He's not talkin.

*Once...a very long time ago...I questioned whether or not Howie Long had hair plugs after seeing him in a Super Bowl ad. To this day, I get my biggest numbers after Sunday football coverage. You all are weird.

By the way, it's taking everything I have not to find my way to Haiti to lend a hand. I wrote about my feeling of helplessness on DC Metro Moms today.

In a Better Mood

2009-12-31T18:31:00.007-05:00

Leave it to PFunky to set me straight--and some uplifting words from Laurie to put me on a better track.*

I've been pissed off all day. On Twitter I was reading about all the "GREAT" and "FANTASTIC" plans people have for the new year. Everyone was so freaking chipper. Apparently I only follow the uber-achievers whose sole purpose in life is to make me feel like a big gigantic loser by comparison.

Where am I going? What am I going to do next? What have I accomplished so far? What do I have to show for my time on this planet? Why was it again I went away to college? And moved away from home? How the heck am I going to make the changes I really want to make in my life?

Oh yeah, and I'm going to be 40 in 2010.

It wasn't a pretty day.

Just moments ago, I was reminded that we are putting another decade on the books (I mean I knew this, but I didn't really THINK about it), and then I started to think about my life 10 years ago.

The roof that is over my head? Didn't belong to me yet.

The kind people I work for now? Hadn't met 'em yet.

The three crazy, rambunctious, big-hearted boys who make me want to both pull out all my hair and laugh hysterically every single day? One just went back home to live with his mom and the other two were a vague concept.

I may not be world-famous (yet). I may not be the hottest mommy in town (yet). I may even still have that nasty Diet Coke habit (let's not get too hasty with our resolutions), but I do have a life I couldn't conceive of just ten years ago.

Makes me wonder how I'll look back ten years from now.

*I hope you know how much your words meant to me today--always.

Post-Holiday Stress Disorder

2009-12-31T12:22:00.002-05:00

I'm not sure what it is--the letdown after the holidays, looking back at a year, anticipating a new one. Whatever it is it has me in a foul mood and wondering if a good, snot-filled cry would make it better.

While everyone else is excited for a new year and new resolutions, I'm sitting here this morning filled with anxiety and wanting to hide.

Being responsible for your own happiness is overwhelming sometimes. There are so many things I have to pretend not to see or feel that it becomes exhausting--like playing a role eight days a week.

Fake it till you make it?

My stiff neck and nasty zits say otherwise.

Playing with my Baby--My Lensbaby

2009-12-30T18:13:00.004-05:00

As someone whose attention is piqued whenever photography is discussed, I'd heard the name Lensbaby thrown about quite a bit. The company has been good about using social media to market, but I didn't know quite what to expect.

I asked for one as a lark for Christmas (as I try to decide if I'm going to pull the trigger on my f2.8 24-70mm).

The day after the big day was sunny, so I went outside to play.

I'm not sure yet how I would use the lens in a professional sense, but it's definitely fun to play with. The accessory kit is a must for the fun aspect of the lens. In addition to a wide angle and telephoto lens and a macro kit, it comes with disks you can design yourself to create different spectral light shapes (star and heart included in kit).

There is some fine print on the Lensbaby site about it not talking to a variety of Nikon cameras (mine included) which made me think twice about using the lens, but don't be dissuaded. If you shoot in manual, you know all you need to to work with the lens. My biggest concern was that the internal light metering wouldn't work, but it was just fine.

So in the end, I'm looking forward to experimenting more with my new Lensbaby. Do you have one? What do you like the most about it? What do you use it for (you know, other than taking pictures)?

***************
This post is not sponsored. I received the lens as a gift from my husband and was in no way compensated for my words. And the fact that I have to write this on my own blog...it's you a$$holes who will blog for a free coupon who ruined it for the rest of us.

I'd Wish You a Merry Christmas if I Wasn't so Freakin' Tired

2009-12-23T22:46:00.003-05:00

Holy cow!

I had no idea how exhausted my mother must have been during the holidays when I was a kid.

I have my three boys, the husband, my parents and brother in town. Not THAT many people, and I'm bushed.

My mom worked as an ER nurse when I was Santa-believing age. She regularly hosted twice as many people in a smaller house on a much smaller salary and never let us see her crack--not even once.

I am not worthy.

I'm 39 years old and it's taken me this many years to get all of my presents wrapped before Christmas Eve...to have a dinner prepared the night my parents arrive (what? I take them to restaurants with cloth napkins!).

Mom hasn't had to cook one thing so far this holiday (sure she just arrived this afternoon), I have all the groceries purchased for meals through Friday (even stuff for lunches) and I'm almost done with my cooking (yeah, so I'll be up REALLY late).

But I'm kinda proud of myself.

I also can't see straight let alone carry on a conversation with anyone.

So if you don't hear from me for a few days, it's not because I don't love you. I do. But the torch has been passed and I'm the "mom" of the family now, and pretending to be organized is EXHAUSTING.

Merry Christmas!!!

I Woke to #snOMG

2009-12-19T20:25:00.010-05:00

So the other night I had a few quiet hours--a calm before the storm if you will.

Last night I was out trying to cram in some errands before the snow hit.

It started a little earlier than the meteorologists expected.

At midnight, the roads were littered with people who spun out, drove into ditches or couldn't get up a hill. My 13 yo and I toodled around picking up detergent, getting gas, watching the light show at the gas station (seriously. You tune into a specific radio station and all the lights are choreographed to the music. Without the music it just looks like a 3 yo is in control of the nobs.)

We probably had 3 inches on the ground by 1:00 a.m.

This morning I woke up to this.

(the last two were taken UNDER my car port)

The kids couldn't believe their eyes.

We haven't had much snow in the past few years, but the accumulation overnight was nothing compared to what it was by 4:30 p.m.

I tried to take a few of the same shots so you could see the difference.

It's dark now, but I just let the dog out--our 70 lb black lab. The snow is up to her back. Poor thing didn't know where to pee. Once she figured it out though, she was off bounding through the snow.

Little P asked me if the snow was going to be here when he woke up in the morning.

I think it's a pretty safe bet.

Hope you all are keeping warm on this December night.

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If you'd like to see the rest of my photos from today, hop on over to my Flickr page.

The Still Hours

2009-12-18T03:40:00.002-05:00

I love this time of night/morning--3:41 a.m.

One week until Christmas. Family plans to organize. Work projects to finish up. The next seven days will be crazy.

But now...right now. Everything is still.

I can hear the deep sigh of the dog, the muffled mumbles of a child deep in his dream. When I step outside the air is clear, the stars are crisp and no cars or wind or animals are heard.

We're expecting a big snow storm tomorrow night. The kids will be home with wet boots and jackets thrown everywhere. I'll be running to the store to finish my shopping; beginning my cooking for the family that will arrive soon.

But now...right now. Everything is still.

And Again

2009-12-04T06:28:00.003-05:00

Most of you are just waking up.

I'm still wearing the same clothes I put on after my shower yesterday morning. I couldn't sleep last night.

A bunch of good friends came over last night. I had a little get together. I didn't stress about it. I didn't freak out about the way my house looked. I didn't even worry about the food. Everything came together just fine. People arrived. We laughed. We had great conversations. New friendships were formed. It was a fantastic evening.

I checked my Blackberry after everyone left. I like to look at my calendar for the next day before I go to bed--to make sure I didn't forget anything.

There were six missed calls on my phone.

I wasn't able to get back in touch with the callers. It was late. But, I was able to get a little information. The thing is my parents were already in bed.

The news could wait until morning.

My mom could have one more peaceful night's sleep before we start the whole routine all over again.

We've done this so many times before.

I'm just not used to my new role as the one who breaks the news.

And the fact that I'm not there to support them...I think that's even harder.

No Mammography until 50?! Tell it to Her

2009-11-17T17:16:00.003-05:00

The thing about the perfect best friend is that you want everyone you know to meet her.

Forget that she loves you even when you're a bitch. Forget that on a visit to your family's she walked your infant nephew all night long--while sick as a dog--so that you could get some sleep.

Don't even consider that she knows all the words to every 80's song and will sing them with very little prodding or alcohol when you can't remember the words. And don't even take into account her phenomenal dancing skills that would have secured her a job as the spotlight dancer on Solid Gold (that again will be performed with no prodding or alcohol).

Those aren't the reasons you wished she lived next door.

It's her heart and her smile and her laughter and her kindness that make her your number one gal.

AND SHE IS WHY THE NEW USPSTF MAMMOGRAPHY GUIDELINES MAKE ME WANT TO SCREAM!

My best friend was diagnosed with breast cancer this year at the age of the 37.

You know why?

Because she had a mammography at the urging of her new physician just to establish a baseline.

A baseline!

The growth was the size of a grain of rice. One, tiny, little growth that led to a bilateral mastectomy, drains, chemotherapy, hair loss and the inability to lift her three small children (all 5 and under) for extended periods of time this year.

That baseline mammogram at 37 is what allowed doctors to catch her aggressive form of cancer before she even felt a lump--before it spread to other places in her body.

And now the United States Preventive Services Task Force (USPSTF) has issued a statement indicating that women don't need to consider regular mammograms until age 50?!

There are no words to convey the rage I feel about this--so I direct you to my friend's feelings on the issue.

The American Cancer Society IS NOT changing their recommendation that women begin regular screening at the age of 40. (I couldn't be more proud to be part of their blogger's council.)

I am so afraid that women will believe this government entity--that insurance companies will believe them too.

The thing about my perfect best friend is that she is with me today--and will be for a long time thanks to an early mammogram.

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You don't need to rely on figuring out when your mammogram is due. Check out this tool to get reminders to schedule yours.

If this makes you angry too, get involved! Check out the More Birthdays Campaign.

Books! Books! Books!

2009-11-17T12:17:00.005-05:00

The Kirtsy book comes out today!

Why am I excited about it? Maybe because a number of lovely women have their writing, photography and general online fantasticness profiled in this anthology of women on the web.

You another reason?

I'm one of the contributors! (I know. Can you believe it?!) I'm even attending a book release party on Thursday night and will have a Sharpie (have you seen their gallery?) on hand to sign copies (and will be looking over my shoulder for Candid Camera the whole time). You're invited to the party if you're in the DC area. Seriously.

The piece included only came about because of my addiction to Twitter (who says all addictions are bad?!) and the very cool people I regularly interact with there (are we following each other? If you're human and not spamming, I follow back--social media is all about relationships, yo). Since it wouldn't have been possible without them and because you can't click on a link in a book, I'm rerunning the post here and hope you'll click away on the links below.

Oh and buy the book too (I don't make anything off of it). Mine is only one of many resources and eye candy you'll find in it.

Twitter Speaks: More Than 50 Books that Have Had an Affect on Us
(originally posted August 9, 2008)

It's summer and I'm on a reading binge again. Our annual trip to the beach followed closely by a weekend of relative solitude (*gasp* imagine?) has given me the chance to get through a few titles at a much faster pace than regular life allows.

Right now I'm finishing up Still Life with Woodpecker by Tom Robbins and there are so many great passages/great lines that have made me stop to think about which books have spoken to me the most.

I subscribe to the belief that different books can mean different things to you depending on where you are in your life. Additionally, books can have varying impact on people reading them depending on the events going on in the world or the timing of the publication. For example, while I think On The Road must have been groundbreaking when it was written, I wasn't as blown away by it having had the experience myself of traveling without a plan--which is a far more common experience today than it was in the Fifties.

This thinking about reading and "the classics" led me to wonder what books had most influenced others. (My favorite section in Newsweek is A Life In Books... the brief interview with an author and the list of the author's favorite books and the book they felt was most overrated.) With trusty Twitter at my fingertips, I asked the following question to my Tweeps.

What book have you read, other than the bible, that has had the greatest impact on you?

Folks on Twitter (if you're not on there, you should be) were tremendously forthcoming with titles--so much so that the following list will keep my reading for years. While 140 characters didn't allow for much more than title and author, I did receive a few notes about why people had selected certain titles. I'm hoping that folks who contributed to the list (or others inspired by this post) might consider writing a post explaining why the book they listed had such an impact on them. I'm fascinated by these stories and always looking for good recommendations.

Someone did come back to me wanting to know which book most influenced me and I do feel an obligation to share that information. Unfortunately, I can't point to one particular title that has had the most influence. I love books. I always have. Each on it's own has affected me in one way or another. Do I have favorites? Absolutely. But even those that were difficult to get through have increased my love for words and added to my ability to think in words.

So without further ado, I give you...

Twitter Speaks: More Than 50 Books that Have Had an Affect on Us

Fall on Your Knees by Ann-Marie MacDonald Mama Tulip

She's Come Undone by Wally Lamb Mama Tulip

I Know This Much Is True by Wally Lamb Send Chocolate & Mama Tulip

Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides MamaTulip

Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck Karoli SoCalMom

Happy Hooker by Xaviera Hollander SoCalMom (you wouldn't believe how it could scare a 14 y.o)

Lamb by Christopher Moore Anissa Mayhew

The Pact by Jodi Picoult Jodifur

19 Minutes Jodi Picoult Jodifur & Hip Mom

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn by Betty Smith Jessabean

To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee Whit & GraceD & Dooblehvay

A Heatbreaking Work of Staggering Genius by Dave Eggers Whit

Song of Solomon by Toni Morrison Isabel Kallman

Think and Grow Rich by Napolean Hill Rumford

Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott Flutter & Hip Mom (this had a huge impact on me too)

Teenage Liberation Handbook by Grace Llewellyn NoirBettie

Sister Carrie by Theodore Dreiser Neilochka

The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron Lola Goetz

The Catcher in the Rye by JD Salinger Devra

Foundation by Isaac Asimov YatPundit

Rebecca by Daphne DuMarier Casey Moosh in Indy

The Diving Bell and the Butterfly by Jean-Dominique Bauby OpenBookJen

Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde Redneck Mommy

Leaves of Grass* by Walt Whitman Redneck Mommy

Lucky by Alice Sebold Flutter

A Separate Peace by John Knowles Samanthia & PunditMom

Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxyby Douglas Adams Crunchy Carpets

Outlander by Diana Gabaldon Kiki Laughs it Off

A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens Kiki Laughs it Off

Gone With the Wind by Margaret Mitchell Kiki Laughs it Off

The Witching Hour by Anne Rice Kiki Laughs it Off

A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle Kiki Laughs it Off

Mullet Madness by Alan Henderson Undomestic Diva

Unbearable Lightness of Being by Milan Kundera NOLANotes

A Sense of Honor by Jim Webb Gunfighter

The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood Jodifur

Love and Other Impossible Pursuits by Ayelet Waldman Jodifur

The Princess Bride by William Goldman SueBob

A Course in Miracles SueBob

Charlotte's Web by E.B. White Assertagirl

Intermediate Man John Locks tag

I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou GraceD

Laura Ingalls Wilder books GraceD

Bias by Bernard Goldberg Kiss My Gumbo

Evidence of Harm by David Kirby To Think

Brave New World by Aldous Huxley SoCal Mom

1984 by George Orwell SoCal Mom

Cat's Cradle by Kurt Vonnegut SoCal Mom

Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien PaullYoung

A People's History of the United States by Howard Zinn khylek

Death Be Not Proud by John J. Gunther Slouchy

Atonement by Ian McEwan Slouchy

Superior Women by Alice Adams CharmingDriver

If on a Winter's Night a Traveler by Italo Calvino Linseyk

Pilgrim at Tinker Creek by Annie Dillard FairlyOddMother

The Snow Leopard by Peter Matthiessen Cindy Fey

How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie Mike Driehorst

Angle of Repose by Wallace Stegner Pundit Mom

The French Lieutenant's Woman by John Fowles Pundit Mom

Edited on 8/12/08 to add the following titles originally left off because, well, I'm just a dope.

The Sparrow by Mary Doria Russell Julie Pippert

Children of God by Mary Doria Russell Julie Pippert

Bel Canto by Ann Patchett Julie Pippert

*This book of poetry was given the highest recommendation when Redneck Mommy explained that it virtually got her through the death of her son. It will be next on my list for a number of reasons and I will think of T's beloved Bug as I soak up Whitman's words. Thank you T for being willing to share him with us.

Thank You from the Bottom of My Heart

2009-11-11T20:57:00.005-05:00

She was due to give birth to her first baby in June.

He had been honorably discharged as an officer in the Air Force for health reasons, but he felt such a duty to his country he enlisted as a private in the Army. He was on base away from home getting ready to ship out with his company.

A wise, compassionate company commander knew that Morgan's wife was about to give birth. He also knew that once he sent Morgan over seas there was a good chance he might not come home. That gentleman risked his own military career to ensure that another man had the chance to meet his daughter--if only for one day.

My mom was born in mid June 1944. My grandfather spent exactly 24 hours with her and set sail for Europe.

The company in which my grandfather served was sent to France for the D-Day invasion. Many of his buddies did not survive.

Because of an incredible commanding officer, my grandfather missed the invasion by a few weeks and though he waited two more years to see his daughter he lived to hold her and raise her and love her, her sister and two grand-daughters to follow.

I was just four when he died, but I know he loved me like only a grandfather can--like only a man who loved his country so much he went back to serve when he didn't have to can--like only a man who loves his fellow man enough to risk his own career to allow another to see his daughter can.

For those men, for the men in my grandfather's company who didn't survive, for the men and women who serve today I am eternally grateful.

Come back tomorrow to read about a veteran of an entirely different sort.

Too Many Roads Not Taken

2009-11-06T23:43:00.002-05:00

The new year may mean the beginning of a new business for me.

I know I can start it. Resources abound for getting it going. I'm pretty sure I can even get a client or two.

What is holding me back is fear of failure, fear of making a bad decision, fear of hitting a wall.

Intellectually, I know it takes hard work and trial and error to become a success. I already live with the regret of roads not taken for these same sorts of fears. The conflict inside is making me feel sea-sick.

I want to move forward. I think it's a path I'm supposed to explore. I know the fears that are creeping in are the usual ghosts trying to sabotage my progress. I even know how to name them this time, and yet...

When my dog tries to jump on me, I turn around. I deny her attention and she gets the message quickly. Can I turn my back on these voices--the voices telling me I'll never have the talent, the voices telling me I'll never be more than a hack?

No way to know unless I try. And THAT? That is scary.

Best Blog Post Ever

2009-11-04T21:23:00.002-05:00

I had the best idea for a blog post as I was lying (or is it laying--I don't feel like Googling it) in bed last night. It occurred to me to get up and make a note about it, but it was such a perfect idea that I was sure I would remember it.

I didn't.

I want to say it had something to do with my mom, or motherhood, or being a queen, but I could be totally off. Maybe it had to do with the importance of reading to your children or how the Yankees threw last game so they could win the Series in their new stadium. It might have been a treatise exploring the finer points of a frozen Snicker's bar or a PSA about not drinking six Diet Cokes during the day if you plan to sleep at night.

Hell if I know.

Most of my profound thoughts really can be conveyed in less than 140 characters--not that I share all of them on Twitter, but it makes me a little hesitant to throw them out there and count them as a post.

Maybe I should start carrying around another Moleskine just for my incredible thoughts and ideas and then I can serve up a bunch at a time for your viewing pleasure. What's one more Moleskine, right? I mean there's the one I have for work, the one that has my older random notes and Christmas lists, the one I'm using for current journaling and then another small one that found it's way in my bag. Shit. I have a Moleskine problem.

I guess that's better than a mole problem--or a skin problem.

Actually I have a skin problem, but you're probably not interested in my eczema or the latex gloves I wore at work the other day so I could apply the prescription ointment I have for said eczema so I wouldn't rip all of the skin off my hands nor get the ointment on my keyboard. No one seemed to notice them until I began to use hand gestures during an emotional conversation with my boss at which point she stopped in her tracks which was actually a good thing because the conversation was getting way too heavy for the both of us and we needed that moment of comic relief--you know like when Olympia Dukakis offers up Shirley McLaine for Sally Fields to hit during the funeral scene in Steel Magnolias. I mean every damn time I watch that movie I'm a sloppy, snotty mess as Sally screams that it was supposed to be her in the casket and then here comes Olympia. Thank goodness straight guys had the innate sense never to watch that movie with me, because the boogers... Though that did seem to work for Meg Ryan in When Harry Met Sally--well at least until the uncomfortable silence when it was all over.

Hmph. Nope. That wasn't the idea for my post either.

Bottles on a Shelf

2009-11-03T11:05:00.001-05:00

I've been listening to your personal jam session with Rock Band for the past hour and it makes me want to bottle you up so I can enjoy this moment over and over. Oh the shelf that bottle would sit on! It would be nestled in among thousands of other tiny glass jars--the ones holding the sounds of your baby giggles or the one that holds the image of your smile the day of your first tball game.

If only I could have a shelf like that. One that I could visit any time to relive those experiences again and again.

Tonight you're five. You haven't mastered reading yet, so you sing the words you know by heart and fudge the rest adding in woots and yeahs as you see fit.

No stage fright. No performance anxiety. You haven't discovered those yet.

There are tears in my eyes and my heart feels like it's ready to burst just listening to you sing without a care in the world. I wish I could keep the world this way for you forever--the way it is right now. But I can't keep those bottles on the shelf and I can't stop you from growing up.

My hope however is this: No matter how old you are you'll always sing with abandon and be exactly who you want to be regardless of who is watching.

I Googled Him Today

2009-11-02T16:06:00.003-05:00

We haven't talked in such a long time. It's been even longer since I've seen him.

If you ask me, I'll tell you that I don't have any feelings about him at all.

None.

Really.

I can summon nothing.

He is part of my past like kids from elementary school who moved away, like that shirt you had to have in 7th grade and only remember now when you leaf through the photo album at your mom's house.

He was there one day--such an integral part of my life--and the next he was gone. The pain in the beginning was fierce, but when it subsided the relief erased everything. No more drama.

So why? Why today?

Why was the last thought I had before falling asleep last night one that suggested I should google him today?

I felt dirty just typing his name. I was embarrassed. What if someone found out I had looked for him? Was I really "looking" for him, or just wanting to know if he was still out there?

My upper lip is pulled up in a scowl as I type this now. I'm disgusted that I did it. Thinking that by admitting it here I will cleanse myself of this thing--this act of typing twelve letters and pressing Enter.

You'd think by my description there was abuse. There wasn't. Well, unless you consider abandoning your 10 & 12 year old daughters with no notice abuse. Most days I don't. I've often considered it a favor.

He just walked away one day.

His name doesn't deserve to be uttered. It most certainly doesn't deserve to be written. And I think that's why I'm so repulsed by the fact that I did. I think I'm worried that just by mentioning him by name he will somehow manifest from thin air, and I REALLY don't want that to happen.

So Many Interests, So Little Time

2009-11-01T11:30:00.004-05:00

My desire to learn about so many things and to master (okay become proficient) a number of skills has reached epic level.

And this whole oh yeah I'm a political consultant thing can get in the way some days.

Plus? Sleeping?

How am I going to become a world famous photographer/knitter/gardener/well-read/self-actualized/uber-Mom/social media maven/baseball parent with all this work and sleep taking up my time?!

I've already given up the laundry, cooking and most of the cleaning (until my parents come in town or I'm hosting a real party), and still there is never enough time. This doesn't even take into account the roots and eyebrows that constantly require maintenance.

Oh and also I should have added "organized, beautiful home-owning and fabulously fashionable" to my list above.

Shit.

Guess we're all going to have to settle for friendly chick.

Lessons Learned This Weekend

2009-10-18T21:31:00.006-04:00

In the Kitchen

You can cook by candlelight as long as the stove, oven and refrigerator aren't on the mysterious circuit that blew in the middle of making dinner and refuses to come back on.

Two trays of lasagna are put together. One is in the oven, the other is waiting its turn. I'm patting myself on the back for making a dish ahead of time for the week--and there's even another one to go in the freezer for next week or the week after.

(I wouldn't normally show you a photo so blurry, but I was taking it by candlelight and my tripod was in the car. You can see my dilemma.)

So I'll remember later, one box of noodles is enough for two trays. You need two large containers of ricotta, one and half large bottles of sauce (come on, I didn't have any lights in my kitchen!) or three regular sized bottles, two pounds of ground meat and one package of mild italian sausage and one HUGE bag of shredded mozarella.

There are so many incredible websites out there with recipes that could keep me cooking for the rest of my life. This site was one I found this week. I'm gonna try the bread pudding from this post first.

Photography

Shooting babies is hard.

Even a giant picture window and turning all the lights on in the room aren't going to give you the light you need to shoot without a flash (and a bunch of post-processing) on a rainy day.

My friend was so kind to allow me to practice on her gorgeous six month old yesterday. Little Faye has this incredible red, curly hair and the chubbiest cheeks.

You can get enough light to shoot outside on a rainy day as long as you have covered place to shoot.

Can you believe the eyes on this one?

And him? The youngest of four and a personality to make sure he doesn't go unnoticed.

Another terrific friend ~~threatened me if I didn't come shoot her kids~~ was willing to let me take some shots of her kids so I could do some portfolio building.

Me

There might be a link between perfectionism and shame. I don't know what it is yet, but I've downloaded I Thought it was Just Me because of the cool read along project the author set up on her blog.

I've long known that I've missed out on exciting adventures in my life because I was too afraid of failure. When I noticed that same trait emerging in one of my sons recently I wanted to find out how to beat back the beast. I so want for my boys to live lives filled with adventure.

How was your weekend?

Maybe You Haven't Seen Me

2009-10-17T13:26:00.002-04:00

Conventional wisdom among blogging gurus is the key to a successful blog is finding your niche and concentrating on that.

What if you don't have a niche? Would I have more readers if I did? Am I writing for readers? Is this blog about me or you the reader?

When I talk to people about social media I too stress the importance of putting out information that is not about you, but about them. Now I'd argue that can be done in different ways. What I mean when I say it is don't just tweet links back to your blog or RT what others have said (though RTs are a sign of good citizenship), but take part in a conversation--or start one.

The emphasis here is on the social part of media.

Social, to me, is about community and conversation and sharing of ideas. It's about having a discussion rather than spamming each other so that neither of us hears what the other is saying. I'd argue that our world would be a much better place if this happened more often.

So what does this have to do with what I put out on my blog?

Well I clearly don't have a niche. I write about my kids (but not only them), I share some of my photographs (but I'm not a photo blogger), there is the infrequent insertion of politics (I live in DC after all), when a cool offer comes along I like to share that too (but you're not coming here for coupon codes). And then there are the days I tell you a little something about me (but do you really know who I am?). I like to make you laugh. I feel like I owe you that--or at least a grin--for lending me your eyes, but I'm no Jenny.

So who am I here? Why am I here? Why do I put out my words for all the world to see, and why do I like it when people are compelled to add their thoughts to my own?

I think I like to know that I'm not the only one. Sure I'd love to be an original, but I like to know too that my life resonates with yours.

That's the "social" in social media to me.

I've been subscribing to new blogs left and right lately. I'm adding disparate sites that speak to me, to who I am right now. I've subscribed to Scientific American, m. writes, design crush, zen habits and the fat girl's guide just to name a few.

Pretty varied that group--sort of like my posts.

I want you to see me. I want to be honest here. And if I admit something that to me seems ugly, I'd like people to be attracted to my writing. But with interests as varied as mine, how do I find a niche?

There are personal questions I'm asking myself these days. It may be the impending big birthday. I feel like I'm on the cusp of change. I'm going to be taking you along with me as these questions flesh out. I hope you find something in my words that speak to you. And I hope you'll add your own to them--even if it seems I'm all over the place.

All Fired Up!

2009-10-14T23:24:00.002-04:00

The great thing about the blog medium is you can post immediate responses to breaking news or events.

Sometimes providing an immediate response is not the best idea.

If I were to publish a post tonight about The White House and moms and about using new media tools to create the appearance of concern about the opinions of a particular segment of society--a segment that makes the majority of family financial decisions in this country, a segment that is disproportionately effected by the global economic crisis--but follow-up with partial actions and behind schedule, I would not be diplomatic.

And if I've learned anything in my 16 years in DC, it's that diplomacy is appreciated by those in power.

So tonight I will go to sleep and let my blood cool down. Tomorrow however...

DC Acronyms Attack--FDA, TSA, CFPA

2009-10-12T19:22:00.005-04:00

If you live in the DC area long enough, you get used to the myriad of government acronyms. I have friends who work for the CIA, DEA, ICE, BATF, IRS, DOT, OMB, FEC, DOJ and a host of others.

I learned about yet another new acronym today. Emily and Cooper over at The Motherhood pointed me to a recent announcement by the White House calling for Congress to form the CFPA or the Consumer Financial Protection Agency. You can read more about it here and here.

The White House, in an effort to expand online engagement, is reaching out to a variety of online communities--including mom bloggers--to take our questions about financial regulatory reform.

FINALLY, someone who wants to talk to me as a mom blogger about something besides diapers! And its The White House no less! I couldn't be happier that our elected officials are beginning to understand the role of mothers (all parents, really) as financial decision makers and the effect stable markets have on our day to day life.

Upon Emily and Cooper's encouragement, I submitted the following questions.

1. What effect will the proposed Consumer Financial Protection Agency (CFPA) have on current regulatory agencies? Will regulators and rules be consolidated under this new umbrella? Which agencies in particular will be moved? How long will it take to streamline the process? How will overlapping regulations or loopholes be closed if contradictions exist?

2. Which, if any, provisions will be put in place under this new agency to protect those Americans who practice fiscal responsibility? In other words, which specific provisions will be put in place to make it more lucrative for financial institutions to conduct honest business with financially responsible clients rather than what they can stand to gain by exploiting those who are in desperate financial situations?

Tomorrow, the Chair of the Council of Economic Advisers, Dr. Christina Romer, a mom of three herself, will answer our questions directly by video.

I wonder if mine will make the cut. You know I'll keep you posted.

Eco Wo-Man! Eco Wo-Man!

2009-10-06T17:32:00.009-04:00

I'm hoping you sang the title of this post to the Wonder Woman theme song. Go ahead. Go back and do it. I'll wait.

There's a lot of introspection going down for me these days.

In addition to attending this amazing workshop, I enrolled myself in Mondo Beyondo for this month's session.

I've cracked open The Artist's Way and while I haven't started on the morning pages yet, I'm seriously considering them. (If I tell you that the book has been sitting on my shelf for the last 15 years, the fact that I'm considering doing them will all of the sudden seem like a giant leap forward.)

Last weekend I spent time in the desert with these incredible women participating in the Brand About Town Advisory Board retreat.

The scenery brought me to tears.

We hiked.

We talked.

We laughed.

And despite this photo, we quite noticeably ignored technology without any prior agreement.

The desert is quiet to a girl like me who lives so close to the city. I returned a bit tired, but emotionally renewed. (Christine does a very good job of explaining much of it, but I'm pretty sure I've also discovered some primordial Jim Morrison need for a regular peyote-induced dance in the desert.*)

This is all a long-winded way of getting around to the point that now that I'm looking all inward and thinking about doing morning pages and stuff, I'm clearly becoming more green.

Case in point. I haven't quite reached the Diva Cup stage, but this morning I remembered to recycle an empty tampon box.

Mamma Loves the earth and the earth loves me.

*Mamma Loves, nor Brand About Town, endorse the use of peyote. Reference to peyote above does not represent actual usage of peyote, but is used solely for comic effect--unless of course you have some peyote and want to go to the desert with me to dance. Be prepared however to listen to a LOT of 70's disco because...well...it's just about the best music for dancing when you're high on peyote. Not that I've ever done that. As far as you know.

Want to Get Your Small Business up on Social Media?

2009-10-05T23:42:00.003-04:00

It seems like many people I run across in the social media world are thinking about starting up small businesses or have already started one.

As you probably know, I've been an editor with Kirtsy for some time so I'm pretty excited to be involved in this new project.

Kirtsy is bringing a lot of us together in October and November to get our hands on small business… and give practical advice, instruction, and application to rock out some of our favorite free online and social media solutions.

Theyʼre joining up with the cool, smart people at Microsoft Office Live to do 100 Hands On Small
Business sessions in October and November.

100 sessions! 100 FREE sessions.

You heard it here (you can thank me later). Seriously. Weʼre talking 100 fun, practical gatherings of goodness to show you and yours a few new easy things to take up online.

Itʼs true. Women (and hey the brothers are invited too) across the country will be coming together this Fall for the October and November Hands On Small Business (#HOSB) series — all brought to you in by the Politics, World and Business section of Kirtsy and the very good people of Microsoft Office Live.

All of the 100 gatherings will be held October 5– November 22 in 20 areas across the country including:

NEW YORK
CHICAGO
COLUMBUS
CHARLOTTE
SAN FRANCISCO
LOS ANGELES / ORANGE COUNTY
DENVER
SALT LAKE CITY
DALLAS
HOUSTON
AUSTIN
ATLANTA
WASHINGTON DC
BOSTON
SEATTLE
PORTLAND
OKLAHOMA CITY
TORONTO
LITTLE ROCK
MIAMI

Each session will be hosted and led by Kirtsy editors, Kirtsy founders and Kirtsy friends, who just want to get together to show you some new (and maybe not so new) cool things that will help make your online life easier, smarter and definitely more interesting.

So if theyʼre coming to a city near you, please plan to join in on the fun! And bring your laptop if you have one!

Not in your city? Well, darn. You have two options:

1. Let them know where your city is, and theyʼll try to put it on the list for the next round of fun.

2. Get yourself to one of these cities on the scheduled dates. Go ahead. Plan a field trip.

You can find out all the info you need to know at the Hands On Small Business site. You can find out all about the awesome instructors (yep that's me all the way down under DC). The excellent variety of dates.

So get ready, and get set to go save your spot in your favorite site.

Feel free too to pass this info on to others you think might be interested. No need to be a blogger or even have any social media experience. This is truly a 101 course.

And tell me what you think about it--that is unless you come to my sessions and you think I suck. Cause then...well let's just say we're working with a fragile ego here people.

When Everything Comes Together

2009-09-28T21:16:00.007-04:00

When a one line email arrives in the middle of the night, point your nose into the breeze and take in the winds of change.

You may be too tired to grasp all that the email portends at the time, but stick it in your wallet like a Chinese fortune. I promise you will look at it later and marvel at the accuracy of its prediction.

Three months ago, Aimee sent me an email (not an actual cookie, though that would have been good too) with this message.

That was all it said except for the inclusion of a link to this.

I've been carrying around a camera since the late 70's. I still remember my very first one. It was a cheapo 110 that Santa brought me to take pictures on my upcoming trip to Disney World (a huge gift from grandmother). I was nine. All of the pictures from that trip are off-center because the viewfinder wasn't lined up with the lens. I can still smell the scent of the burned out flash bar.

The 110 was followed by a series of point and shoot film cameras, an SLR, a couple of digital point and shoots and finally two years ago a digital SLR. I thought everyone owned a camera of some sort or another. It wasn't until I posted a bunch of old photos on Facebook recently (much to the chagrin of many friends) that I realized my assumption was wrong.

You'd think after all of those cameras I'd know a thing or two about photography. But I didn't. Not really. I knew that I liked to capture moments. I was ecstatic when a photo actually came out sort of the way I imagined it would. But I'll let you in on a secret: it was all just a matter of statistics. If you shoot enough, you're bound to end up with one or two you love. Despite a desire to take a photography class, I still hadn't gotten around to it.

Over the past year or two, I'd been lurking around blogs with beautiful photography. I actually wound up the nerve to ask Yvonne and Aimee for a few pointers. Yvonne pointed me to this book (which I bought immediately--she said it changed her photography completely) and Aimee provided me with constant encouragement--that is until she sent me that link.

I knew of Me Ra through reputation. I knew other bloggers spoke her name in hushed tones. The workshop seemed like a bit of an investment, but photography was really becoming a hobby, so I signed up for the workshop.

And then I freaked out!

I was going to sit in a room with this amazing photographer and 19 other women who knew about aperature and f-stop and shutter speed and probably the Pythagorean Theorem--some of them even had their own photography businesses!

What the f*ck was I thinking?! I was going to embarrass myself.

Last weekend arrived, and the moment I met Me Ra my fears disappeared. I believe it's impossible to be around that smile, around her light and not feel inspired.

Yes she taught us how to leave the automatic settings behind and shoot entirely in manual (ENTIRELY IN MANUAL! You can do it too!), but that was such a small part of our weekend workshop. The very first note I took had nothing to do with photography at all.

"Anytime you can speak in front of people about what you do, the better."

And my second:

"What you have is enough."

Yes Me Ra is a published writer and an incredible photographer, but she is so much more. Me Ra was put on this planet to inspire women. Her artistic talents are just the tools she uses to speak to our hearts.

"Step back from your images and see what your soul is trying to tell you."

I've had a copy of The Artist's Way on my shelf for 15 years. I don't know that I've ever gotten further than the Table of Contents. That was until Me Ra started our workshop reflecting on a quote she pulled out of her well-worn copy.

I smiled as I looked at the book laying on the table in front of her. The cover was faded, the binding floppy and a rainbow of sticky notes adorned pages like ceremonial feathers. It reminded me of my copy of Let's Go Europe that still sits proudly on my shelf almost 20 years after that great trip.

My copy of The Artist's Way is no longer on the shelf but now sitting next to my computer where I can easily grab it when I can steal a few minutes to be inspired. I was so euphoric after the workshop I was mad when I had to return to work the next day. All I wanted to do was take advantage of the light outside, play with my photos in my free trial of Lightroom and spend the rest of my time reading and continuing on my path to creativity.

Oh yeah, I have a family and a job and house and...and...

But you know what? It's okay. Because last week I came across this post by Leo Babauta.

"Holding ourselves back is often considered a bad thing, but it’s not. It’s the best thing we can do, if we want changes to last. When we start a new change, often we are full of enthusiasm. But then we go all out and use up all of that enthusiasm, and run out of motivation or energy or get distracted by something else. But when you hold yourself back, you build up enthusiasm and keep it going for much longer..."

How did he know I needed to read this?

I'm the queen of charging full-steam ahead and burning out just as fast. I don't want to do it this time though. All this confluence of events and ideas and skills and encouragement, it needs to be treated differently. I know this moment is special.

I am full of anticipation with what will come. I am already seeing changes.

As of tonight, I'm not sure what my soul is trying to say through the images yet, but I'm liking what they are whispering.

Monday Inspired

2009-09-21T13:02:00.005-04:00

I had an incredible weekend. So much so, I'm still letting it wash over me before I even begin to think about what it all means.

In the meantime, I hope this gives you some inspiration to look at the world through the lens of gratitude.

The procrastinator in me is taking a bit longer than 21 days to complete the Challenge, but I see it as an opportunity to consciously think about gratitude for even longer. I know I am seeing the world differently through this practice.

Want to try it out? You can do it right here.

Gratitude Challenge

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» Join the challenge

» Read participating blogs

tiny prints

Did I Mention I Knit?

2009-09-11T22:23:00.004-04:00

Yeah. Not really. But I'm trying to learn.

I picked up this incredible self-striping yarn in April.

And in less than a week I had this (My model complained that it's too hot. Perfect for cold days I say.). Nobody told me how addictive this knitting is.

For my next trick, I went online and ordered scads of bright colored cotton yarn to attempt a log cabin blanket.

I chose my youngest to be the recipient of my first blanket thinking he'd be less likely to notice any flaws. Little did I know I'd create a task master. G*d forbid I sit down and do nothing. All I hear is "Mom why aren't you knitting? You need to be knitting my blanket." I apologize now to his future spouse.

The end of the blanket is near and the fantastic folks over at Try Handmade hipped me to a newish fiber store not far from my office/house (remind me to call Erika when I need to be bailed out of debtors prison).

Well at Fibre Space I found this beautiful wool. I have ~~deluded~~ challenged myself to knit a sweater out of it.

Stop laughing. At least my goodies all came in this adorable reusable bag.

My Work Here is Done

2009-09-10T21:29:00.003-04:00

Though winded from my happy dance, I wanted to be sure to record for posterity the conversation my son and I just had in the car.

Mr. Cool 8th Grader: Mom! I love history this year. It's not really history. It's civics. We're talking about government and politics and stuff.

Me: I loved civics.

(I was a political science major you know)

MC8G: We talked about the President's speech today.

Me: Really?

(thinking he's referring to the President's speech to the students)

MC8G: Yeah. That guy who yelled out...what an idiot. I mean he's the President. You have to respect the office, ya know. It's okay to think bad things, but you can't always say them. He's going to get it.

Me: See why I've been telling you that about not always having to comment on ev-ery thing? Did you know that Congressman's likely opponent in the next election raised over $350k in the last 24 hours? All for that one little sentence he yelled.

(Pause while MC8G scarfs down the rest of his burrito.)

MC8G: You know, if there weren't men in this world there probably wouldn't be any wars. That's just my two cents on it.

Me: (Trying to concentrate above the sounds of angels singing in my ears) What makes you say that?

MC8G: I don't know it's complicated.

Me: Is it because you think women wouldn't start wars?

MC8G: Yeah. They probably wouldn't solve problems that way.

Me: Well not all men want to solve problems that way.

MC8G: Oh I know. Some people have to fight. It's their job.

Me: Yes. If you're in the military you have to follow orders. That is your job. War isn't always wrong, but sometimes we do get in wars we probably don't have to.

MC8G: Why can't we just be like Australia and kick back with our kangaroos? They just hang out. They don't bother anyone.

Me: Well sometimes they join in.

MC8G: But most the time they're hanging out on the porch petting their kangaroos. That's what we should be like.

I'd like to believe this is all due to my incredible parenting, but HE CAME UP WITH THESE IDEAS ON HIS OWN PEOPLE!

This is the same child who shaved off most of his eyebrows in first grade because he thought they were getting too long.

I think I should probably quit here while I'm ahead.

Enjoying the Sameness

2009-09-01T23:16:00.006-04:00

It wasn't the first time I slept on the main floor at my aunt and uncle's house.

The house has been the location of family gatherings for long before I was around. My aunt and uncle inherited it from my great-grandfather. We think he bought it from his father. We don't really know how long it's been there, that's just as far back as anyone living knows the story.

It isn't a big house, though it does have three bedrooms, so when the family gets together--usually at Easter--you sleep wherever you can find space. Since most of my life I have been part of the youngest generation that usually meant I camped on the floor.

Last week, I woke up on the couch after a restless night's sleep. I needed to get up and start getting ready, but I just lay there taking in the sounds and smells that were both familiar and comforting.

The smell of coffee brewing. The sounds of voices catching up over breakfast. Silverware clinking on dishes. Footsteps padding on the wood floor. No sound is too harsh. Each is round and just a bit muted by the lifetime of possessions that fill the house.

I can taste the Rice Chex and creamy milk that I'm going to eat. There are always Rice Chex in my aunt's cupboard.

I'll be greeted by the "adults." I'll be called "sleepy head" and I'll give them the same smile I have since I was teenager (the yep I love to sleep smile).

I know exactly what the next thirty minutes will entail and yet I lay still soaking it all in for just a few minutes more, because I know this is the last time I'll enjoy the routine.

For after breakfast, we'll be showering and dressing and getting in the car to head to my aunt's funeral. This will be the last family gathering in the house. Everyone has moved away--moved on. The house will be sold.

It's time to get up now, and it's okay. I will have those sounds and smells in my head forever, and for that I am grateful.

Like You Say All the Time Now...Really?!

2009-08-27T13:20:00.005-04:00

Ten years ago today you were tearing open presents in a room full of adults. I'll admit we were in a little over our heads. You had been living with us for five months and we were still all getting used to each other. I didn't know how to throw a birthday party for a four year-old.

There was cake and a character-themed paper table cloth and party hats. There weren't any other kids. You never complained once.

And today you're a teenager! You complain a lot now--but I know the hormones are to blame for that.

In you I still see that beautiful little boy, but now I am also beginning to see the incredible man you will become (that is if you don't stop rolling your eyes at me every other minute, because if that doesn't stop you might not see 14).

Happy Birthday Dude! I am so proud to be your mom.

I'm Grateful for My Kids...Really...I am. Wha?!

2009-08-25T11:51:00.005-04:00

So I was charged with the task of creating a video post talking about what I am grateful for in my life. Yesterday was crazy. I woke up late and rushed around the rest of the day trying to make up for it. I don't have video skills. I knew there was no way I was going to edit up some fantastic piece in one day and properly give tribute to all of the things I'm grateful for.

But I had a video camera.

And of course I had my kids (they're always hanging around).

What a brilliant idea! I'll film my kids being sweet and loving and talk about how much they've changed my life...enriched it.

They were more interested in the cat.*

I've developed an enhanced sense of humor since having kids (I had to). I think that's pretty cool.

And yes that was my underwear you saw flying behind my head. So much for the folded clothes--and my dignity.

*No children were seriously injured in the making of this video and the cat had already hidden herself far away from the crazies. Though head-butted by his younger brother, my middle son has his mother's hard head and popped up unscathed just moments later.

Today I Was the Mean Mommy (insert evil cackle here)

2009-08-23T22:44:00.010-04:00

Yesterday's rain storms left us with a gorgeous day today.

My garden needing weeding, the carport needed organizing and well who doesn't want to spend some time at the pool. But were the adults in this family doing that today?

No.

There we were pulling everything out of the car port so we could power wash the siding to remove the dirt encrusted spray of what looked like a case of soda. (I'm not sure it wasn't that much.)

Apparently, when you get a group of kids together and provide them with an ice tub full of soda it's really fun to shake them up and spray them at each other.

So we're pulling out trash cans, setting up the power washer (and fighting over who gets to use it) when I look inside and notice that all three of our boys are inside in the air conditioning sitting out the couch playing video games.

Oh no they weren't!!

All of the sudden I had a wonderful idea!

Boys come here please. Go get the bucket, a few scrub brushes and sponges and the dish soap and come out here please.

The boys were going to learn a lesson.

Oh cool! Yay bubbles! Can we wash the car next?

Yeah that lasted five minutes.

My arm hurts.

I'm doing all the work.

I've been scrubbing for 20 minutes and it won't come off.

You're a horrible mom.

Why yes my children. Yes I am. But my siding is clean and I'm thinking the next time you go to shake up a soda you might remember all the fun you had today.

Friends In Real LIfe

2009-08-20T22:41:00.002-04:00

Two years ago, a blond saw a face in the audience. She watched a head nod and eyes that made contact, and with each cue she found her speaking voice.

The brunette with the nodding head was so earnest, so unschooled, so wanted to fit in. The words she was hearing helped her believe in herself.

A friendship began when one person listened as the other one spoke. They had no idea how much the other needed what each was there to give.

Laughter. Honesty. Support. Space. All given and received without one expectation.

Tonight the brunette spoke, actually poured out her guts.

And the blond?

She listened and nodded.

****************************************************
I am taking part in a Gratitude Challenge. For 21 days I am practicing gratitude for the little (and big) things all around me. Tonight's post is a love letter to all of my incredible friends.

Sometimes You Just Have to Think About Something

2009-08-19T21:38:00.008-04:00

Conventional wisdom says that you need three weeks to form a good habit.

Coincidental that I've been challenged to spend the next 21 days practicing gratitude?

I think not.

Man those people are sneaky. I think I should thank them first for inspiring me to look at my life with a little more gratitude.

I really do have so much to be grateful for.

It's funny how things come together at some points in your life as if all roads led to the same intersection.

Monday morning I sat down with my boss to catch up from the weekend and our discussion turned into a conversation about living in the present--and I hadn't even gotten to the part where I was going to tell her about this Gratitude Challenge.

Practicing a little gratitude is an act that I'm sure can benefit each of us individually and translate into a world that is a little more pleasant to inhabit, but for people like me it's not always easy.

I mean one of my nicknames growing up was Eeyore. "Nice day. So far." (Thanks mom.)

She swears she called me that because I was a worrier and not because I was so negative as a kid, but I will admit that I've spent a good deal of my life looking at the contents of the glass as miserably half gone.

Now I look back at the birth of my children and see that it was probably the point where I began to consider that there might be more left in the glass than I had originally thought. There are still days when I'm not always sure, but just seeing the potential once is really all you need.

So today I proclaim publicly that I will try to form a new, good habit of regularly practicing a little gratitude.

I probably should have started this on Monday, (I'm not sure you're supposed to begin a new habit on a Monday--or that's what I'm standing by) but I needed few days to process this whole thing. And I've noticed something while I've been mulling this idea over.

There are a lot of things I never realized I was grateful for until I startedthinking about the word. Now? I see them everywhere--even in situations that don't initially seem promising (I do have a teenager in my house).

So will I turn all gooey and gross and leave you with a cavity by the end of the first week?

Let's be real. I live with a man and three boys. I'm just going to be grateful that I get to hear the sounds of all those farts.

Amie LIVE

2009-08-17T23:05:00.009-04:00

So here it is...my first vlog!

Untitled from mammaloves on Vimeo.

This is my first attempt. It recorded in .avi and I saved it down to .wmv to load to YouTube. Lost a lot of quality when I did that. If you have any suggestions for doing it differently, PLEASE share!!

Edited to add: The YouTube video sucked. I got a message from Vimeo that my video was done uploading. Right now I don't know what format it's in, but the quality is now better. Hmmm. Still want to hear how you do it. What is the best format to save it in?

Cue the Mommy War

2009-07-16T14:46:00.004-04:00

The mommy wars draw lots of attention. People like nothing more than women fighting whether it's over a man or about how to raise children or in mud.

I hate nothing more.

As women, we moved apart during the Industrial Revolution. We moved to cities--away from our families and away from the women who were our support systems. The focus of our attention became the men who brought home a paycheck. We began to see one another as a threat rather than an extension of our network.

That's just dumb (my intelligence is blinding, no?).

I say this all in an effort to mitigate any comments that might be made about what I am about to write next.

cue the whining...

It's summer. My kids are home. Family events are taking place. The weather is gorgeous. My garden needs attention. My house is a mess.

I WANT TO STAY HOME. I DON'T WANT TO GO TO THE OFFICE ANYMORE.

Stupid money and bills and luxuries and travel. If it weren't for you, I'd be job-title free!

And poor.

Oh well. Back to work.

Real Moms Redux

2009-07-10T10:27:00.005-04:00

I wrote this quite some time ago, but I'm replaying it today because honestly...I like it still. Hope you do too.

I originally wrote this post back in the day of memes in response to Queen of the Mayhem and Janet a.k.a. Wonder Mom. The task was to describe a real mom.

Those two women each hit the mark dead on with their posts, and I wasn't sure what I was going to be able to add. Looking back on on it and the time that has passed since I wrote it I am so grateful for the relationships I've developed with so many amazing real moms I've met through blogging and other social networks. Through their stories, they have reaffirmed my belief that the following is absolutely true.

Real moms? You want to know the ugly truth? Our deepest, darkest secret?

We have NO shame.

Sure real moms look around the table at a work meeting and secretly want to look like the single fashionistas, but they'll wear an outfit from Target if it means their chilren get the birthday present of their dreams or a memorable vacation.

Real moms gag at the smell of vomit, but they'll go to the pharmacy with it in their hair when their toddler is running a fever and can't keep anything down.

Real moms will clean toilets at a bar if it means their family has food on the table.

Real moms will exhaust themselves raising kids by themselves rather than modeling a "normal" relationship as loveless or violent.

Real moms might try to have children naturally, but they'll love the ones they get with every fiber of their being regardless of any genetic relationship.

You can try every trick you have to put down a real mom, but it ain't gonna phase her. When it comes to her family there isn't anything she wouldn't do.

You want to demean her? You want to degrade her? You want to make her invisible? You want to treat her as less than equal?

Fine. As long as you're willing to be met with the ferocity of tiger. Because a real mom will battle to the death to protect her family and provide a safe and loving environment in which her children can grow up to be healthy and happy.

Oh, and she'll have an army of Target clothes-wearing, toilet brush-holding, vomit spewn-haired women standing behind her to take you on. Because that's what real moms do.

Clearly She's Been Working Out (or in?)

2009-07-08T11:49:00.005-04:00

Mamma here ever prepared to keep you up to date on breaking news.

This morning we learned that a new Guinness world record has been set!

While I'm inspired by the fact that there is still time for me to challenge this record, my desire to dig deeper into the story for you, my readers, was not satisfied.

My first question, of course, was "well who holds the record for the world's strongest pen*s?"

Before I could find that answer though, I came upon this headline.

Typical. It wasn't the woman's accomplishment.

Wanting to get the rest of the story, I didn't allow myself to become distracted and ~~went right to Google~~ followed more leads in search of the record holder.

It seems the folks at Guinness aren't as concerned with finding the world's strongest pen*s (male judges can't handle the competition, hmmm?).

The best information I could find was at least a year old and comes to us from the far East. (do not click w/small children on lap; however, if you have teen-aged boys call them over immediately and tell them this is what you'll do to them if they have sex before they are 35.)

My ~~journalistic~~ blogging instincts told me not to trust that source. I was suspicious of the fact that the gentleman's back is turned to us and that he is naked except for a strap around his waist.

I continued my search ~~for two more minutes~~ and found that World's Strongest Pen*s remains a record yet to be set. A certain company claims to have "the world's strongest pen*s enlargement formula", but I'm fairly certain drug use would disqualify you from the the title.

So readers, what did we learn today?

You're never too old to set a Guiness world record (Get Kegeling* girls. We can't let the Russians beat us!). AND, guys start "lifting." You still have a chance to be the first!

*Am I the only one who finds the irony in the name and product line of this company?

Very Superstitious

2009-07-06T23:15:00.004-04:00

I want to write about what is taking up all of my time right now, but I can't.

Let's just say that one of my three sons is on a certain baseball team.

My husband hasn't shaved in three weeks. I've been driving a pick-up truck instead of my normal car for three weeks. This year no CDs were created to get the team pumped up before games (they were NOT good luck). I bring the same cooler to every game. I even have a friend who texts me before every game and once during the game to get and update because he's been doing so for each game.

There are plans to go to the beach in two weeks. There are plans for me to go to BlogHer in three. I went ahead and bought a plane ticket to Chicago because not doing so would be a slap in the face to the "gods of the diamond."

You just can't mess with things.

I can reveal that I have developed zits on my cheeks for the first time in 25 years. There are approximately 17 lbs of infield dirt in my car. And yes...

I am a baseball mom.

Now keep your fingers crossed or do whatever lucky things you need to do.

I'm not joking. Get to it!

When You Have an Addict in Your Life

2009-07-01T22:38:00.003-04:00

There's been an addict in my life for over twenty years.

I've locked my doors. I've hidden my purse. And I've been stolen from regardless.

I've been mad. I've cried. I've been hurt. I've been embarrassed and ridiculously angry.

I've pretended not to care.

I've done to Al-Anon, and yet the worry remains.

My sister has been "clean" for the past four years to the best of my knowledge. She might actually be finding the way to live with her addiction, but just one overheard conversation and my temptation to go into "she's high again" mode jumps on my shoulders like one of Jack Hanna's animals going after David Letterman.

My goal each time is just to keep the animal from taking a crap on my head.

Last night I overheard my son talking to his mom (my sister). I could hear him repeatedly asking her what she was talking about. Each time he said it I felt my shoulders pull higher and higher.

"Why isn't she making sense?" "Is she slurring her words?" "Fuck, she's using again."

We learn in Al-Anon that the addicts' problems are not ours--that we don't have to react to them. But when you're raising the addict's child how can it not affect you?

I AM a mamma lion. Don't mess with my kids or I'll cut you.

I won't think twice about it.

Even if you are my sister.

But I Don't Feel Like It

2009-06-29T17:22:00.005-04:00

Tell me I can't doing something and that's all I want to do.

Tell me to do something and I'll find every other possible thing that needs to be done.

Why oh why do I have such authority issues? They aren't convenient either professionally or personally. Do I get to blame a parent? A rogue police officer from my past?

Guess I have to suck it up, put on my big girl panties and perform any number of other cliches and get busy doing?

Yeah. That's what I thought.

Crap.

Dear Small People in My Bed

2009-06-11T20:55:00.002-04:00

Dear Small People* Who Climb into Bed with me at Night,

It sends warm fuzzy feelings directly to my heart just thinking about the fact that the most comforting thing to you is to sleep nestled up against me.

BUT, we must have some rules. Trust me, following these will come in handy later in life. I can’t get into the WHY now, but I promise. I’m your mom. Would I lie to you?

Humans lie PARALLEL to each other in bed.
Limbs are to remain still--even during dream state. Flinging and flailing of extremities is strictly prohibited.
Wetting the bed is not appreciated—especially when you leave your co-sleeper with the wet spot to sleep in.
All nails must be trimmed neatly. Drawing blood is highly frowned upon by most except for the random girls who read Twilight one too many times and really?? That trend will be tired by the time you’re old enough to understand what a freak your mom is for giving you these helpful hints for “co-sleeping.”

Love,
Mom**

*No! I’m not talking about THOSE little people, I finished with that phase back in '97. Jeez, keep up!

**The same mom who worries weekly about the kind of mate you will make later in life, and winces just a little each day for the men or women who might have to live with your love of fart humor and inability to pee INTO the toilet.

BREAKING NEWS: Facebook Sprinkles Site with Crack

2009-06-10T17:38:00.003-04:00

Facebook has tried to keep the fact under wraps since early 2008, but today fabulously famous blogger MammaLoves (aka Amie Adams) revealed the truth.

"I was ignoring my family. I was wearing dirty clothes. I couldn't get enough. My life was falling apart! It wasn't until my dog licked the computer screen showing Facebook and I noticed her madly dash in circles chasing her tail did I realize drugs were involved."

Ms. Adams accuses Facebook of including games like Bejeweled Blitz and Pathwords on its site as a cover to emit crack fumes therefore rendering users unable to click off of the site.

Facebook sources refuse to comment on Ms. Adams' accusations, but say Facebook works hard to promote a clean and healthy environment for its users as evidenced by their diligent effort to prevent photos of mothers nursing babies from soiling their pages.

The dog was quoted as saying, "dude."

A Note to My Youngest on His Last Day of Preschool

2009-05-28T23:55:00.004-04:00

Tonight you asked how many sleeps you had until Kindergarten. Telling you it was almost 100 would have been so overwhelming especially since you can't count that high yet.

But in a year from now?

You'll be counting the stars. You'll be reading. You'll know what to do during a fire drill.

Once you start Kindergarten, you'll probably be broken of the verbal habits we've let slide because you're our youngest and damn if they aren't cute.

No more will you tell me about how you "runned" on the playground. Next baseball season you won't ask me if we can go to the "'session" stand. And I'm guessing that your favorite toys will cease to be described as "mines."

I mean you've already left "sanks" (thanks) and "pickels" (testicles) behind.

Guess I'll just have to savor every last one of my 100 opportunities to get you into your "jamas" before school starts up again in the fall.

The Man Knows What He Likes

2009-04-26T23:09:00.002-04:00

The most recent directive from the 6 year old:

"Mom, you have to get me some Old Spice body wash."

I don't even know what to make of this...

In Case You Were Wondering...

2009-04-25T20:17:00.003-04:00

Yes. Gummy worms will melt if you leave them in the car on an 85 degree day.

Brand New Crayons

2009-04-21T22:06:00.005-04:00

Not sure I have a chance, but I decided to throw my hat in the ring for this...

I'm calling it Brand New Crayons

Enter. I'd love to see what your camera is capturing these days.

Sometimes You Can't Save the Ta-Tas

2009-04-09T14:41:00.002-04:00

Remember when Victoria Secret first came out with the Miracle Bra? You never needed it, but the moment they launched their Miracle Bra bathing suits you had one in your hands.

We all laughed when you tried it on. I think I commented that you now had a shelf on which to rest your drink...and suntan lotion...and my drink...and my suntan lotion. You brushed me off and proudly announced that your mom declared it the "two-carat" bikini--as in you were going to land a 2 ct. diamond engagement ring by wearing it on the beach.

I always knew that wasn't what was going to do it. You know why?

Late one night out on the beach very much into our cups, you made some comment about needing to follow the campground rules. As usual, we all started calling you out.

"Once a sorority President, always a sorority president."

"My mom said 'Don't go on the Potomac. It's dangerous on the Potomac.'"

"You're such a MUFFIN!"

You turned to me, now a college graduate, and tried to look me straight in the eye and slurred,

"I may be a muffin on the outside, but I'm a jalapeno PEPPER on the inside."

I'm pretty sure I aspirated a marshmallow at that point.

So yesterday, as I sat here hundreds of miles away from the hospital where doctors were removing your breasts--and with them the cancer that was attacking them--I calmed my nerves and even smiled knowing that 2 ct boobs or not, you will always be a jalapeno pepper on the inside.

And NO doctor will ever be able to remove that.

The Physics of Poop

2009-04-07T19:47:00.003-04:00

The smallest fry in my house still requires a bit of "assistance" in the bathroom (frankly, I think he's milking this whole baby of the family thing), so we are frequently treated with an observation.

Tonight:

"Look! It's floating like a boat. Oh, and now it's sinking like a cannonball."

Look out MIT, here he comes!

Kid's Birthday Parties: Parents I Want Your Input

2009-04-06T23:51:00.003-04:00

Today I received the following email from a good friend.

Ok- so I will preface this by saying I despise most kid's b'day parties...I got burned out on attending the parties thrown by the private school parents--fully catered, clowns, tumble bus, Spiderman delivering the cake, $25 gifts expected by the birthday brat and every mommy trying to one up the previous mommy. My kids HATED me, cause I wouldn't do it. Absolutely refused-I believe in saving it for a special b'day like - 10 or 16, 18 or 21...something big seems a bit more easy to swallow then..every year. NOW- the pendulum has swung the other way and the past two invities have come with a fee! One is a skating party $2 admission - plus $5 skate rental and the other is bowling- entry fee, plus shoe rental.. Seems odd, would seem that if one can't pay for ones guests one should try having a party at home...seems the need to keep indulging ones kids with un-affordable parties is somehow socially acceptable? I guess I don't have to worry about Spiderman and the tumble bus showing up if the host parent is asking guests to pay to attend....and not that it matters, but I could afford to pay for the party and/or for my child to atend the parties with fees, but the principal of the concept is bothering me...so I would love to hear your opinion...maybe I should just have a glass of wine and get over it?

I tend to prefer more low-key parties for the kiddos. I read somewhere that a good rule of thumb is to invite as many guests as the age of the child. My gut tells me that's sound advice.

Sure, it is fun to see your child's eyes light up when the moonbounce gets delivered or they ring the bell at the top of the climbing wall, but how do you celebrate the big milestones when a Kindergartener's party costs $400?

I don't know if I have a strong opinion about charging kids to come to a party. I suspect Emily Post would say that as the host you are responsible for ensuring your guests have a good time.

What do you say to my friend? She needs to RSVP soon.

Annoyed Doesn't Even Begin...

2009-04-04T15:42:00.004-04:00

April 2008

April 2009

Sure my toes aren't bruised this time, but could the nurse have cleaned the Betadine off so I didn't look like I had just completed a carrot juice foot bath?!

The surge to my hits from the c@st fet!shists is the only good thing about this. They'll be return readers, right?

Fifteen Years of ER (and my life)

2009-04-03T07:00:00.000-04:00

I had a 13" color television, a queen-sized bed and my own room in a Washington, DC townhouse on Capitol Hill that I shared with two hill staffers. We had a one year-old dog, jobs that provided health insurance, covered rent and groceries and bought us a few beers a week.

We were 24.

For some odd reason, I sat on the floor alone in my room that night in September to watch the pilot of this new hospital drama I had heard about.

It was early September a few years earlier when I discovered the fever and odd swelling on the right side of my face and neck was mumps.

"Mumps?! Who gets mumps?"

The infirmary wanted to quarantine me. I insisted that I lived off campus and agreed to refrain from kissing young, virile boys until I was no longer contagious, so they let me recuperate at home (where I secretly made a list of boys who deserved to be kissed by a mump-afflicted girl).

When I was a kid my mom was an ER nurse. This meant that she performed our throat cultures herself at home using what felt like a wooden spoon with a nerf basketball on the end. It also meant that when we needed a booster vaccination she might bring us by the ER for a quick stab on our way to the mall or the grocery store or my grandma's--or sometimes not.

My vaccination records from my elementary school days are a bit sketchy.

That's what we figured when, as a 20 year-old, I developed what looked in the mirror like a mild case of elephantiasis.

(As a complete aside, this post was going in an entirely different direction when I started it and I'm not sure if I'm going to be able bring it all around again. Trust me. My original concept was brilliant.)

So despite my mom's home diagnoses and drive-by vaccinations, she had some experience in an ER. (Like on those Christmas Days we sat and stared at the presents under the tree waiting for her to get off of her 7-3 p.m. shift. Torture to a seven year-old I tell you.) And THAT's why I called her the morning after the ER pilot to see what she thought.

"The medicine is a bit overly dramatic, but the show comes closest to any I've seen in capturing the drastic swings in activity in an ER. You can be sitting there one minute reorganizing the ace bandages and the next minute up to your elbows in drunks and motorcycle accident victims."

Yeah, I can eat through any conversation.

I liked the show too. I watched it regularly for the first seven seasons or so, took a little break and then thank the heavens for the miracle of TiVO was able to follow it every week again for the past five years.

Today, I don't have a room of my own. I do however have a 52" TV, a queen-sized bed and own a house in the suburbs with my husband. We share it with three wild boys and an almost one year-old dog. We have jobs that provide health insurance, cover the mortgage and groceries and buy us a few beers a week--or so it feels in this economy.

I'm 39.

Tonight, I sat in the family room with my two youngest sons constantly asking them to keep it down and rewinding the DVR trying to watch the series finale of ER.

The change in Noah Wyle is what struck me the most maybe because we're almost the same age. The 15 years since the pilot have created for him more depth in a way that makes his face more interesting to me now than when he was playing that young intern.

Those same 15 years have given my life depth that I never could have imagined sitting on the floor alone in my room that night in September.

I Had No Idea Gas Masks Were Required

2009-03-25T21:14:00.004-04:00

I have a very serious question.

How many times must one six year-old fart in the span of 15 minutes before he can be convinced that it might be time to visit the bathroom?

I only ask because if this goes on for another 15 minutes I'm going to have to find an all-night army supply store.

It's the Little Things

2009-03-18T20:11:00.007-04:00

Some days you have to focus on the small things that make your day.

My new snazzy toothbrush came with a clock that's handy to have in the bathroom. It's a nice little reminder of the time as you're getting ready in the morning--you know in case you get a little too carried away flossing. Another perk of my fine clock is that it times how long I brush.

When I brush for two minutes it gives me a smiley face.

And when I brush for more than two and a half minutes??

It winks at me!

*****************************************************************************

My office is on the 22nd floor. Getting on an empty elevator from the garage usually means I get to travel all the way to my floor without any stops.

This morning I got to pick my nose in peace all the way to 22 (Don't think I haven't thought about cameras. I'm just sure they've seen much worse.).

*****************************************************************************

No clients today, so I got to wear these.

I'm So Afraid

2009-03-16T21:56:00.004-04:00

I've been staring at this blank form for quite some time with no cogent thoughts coming forth. There are plenty of ideas, jumbled fragments, but I can't seem to wrap any of them up into neat little packages.

And I think there's probably a very good reason for this.

My best friend has breast cancer.

She's 37. She has three children aged almost 5 and under.

I've known for a few weeks now--about as long as she has--and I think I've just been pretending it's not true.

The doctors caught it early. She just went in for a check up--a routine physical--and the doc suggested she go in for a mammogram to establish a baseline. The doc didn't feel anything. The mammogram didn't show anything specific, just some thickening. They sent her for an ultrasound assuming they were just ruling things out.

She has cancer.

And they still can't even feel the lumps.

That's a good thing. The prognosis is good.

And I thought I was okay. I mean, I don't have cancer. I can't complain. So I'm fine. I'm the fine one. I'm perfectly fine.

EXCEPT WHAT IF SOMETHING HAPPENS TO MY BEST FRIEND???!!!!!

I can't fix her. I can't make it okay for her. I can't change things when she's scared. I can't make it better. And I hate that.

Each time my head starts in this direction, I just say shut up. You're not the one who is sick. Just shut up.

But I'm afraid too.

When my aunt was diagnosed with cancer nine years ago, I was sure she was going to be fine. Six weeks later I was at her memorial service. I still think of her almost every day.

I'm so afraid to be positive about Pfunky's cancer.

I'm so afraid.

My Babies Won't Cry When the Circus Comes to Town

2009-03-15T21:25:00.002-04:00

Cause they're going! One son is actually going twice and the middle guy told me how much he wanted to go when his big brother received the invitation. Because I want to maintain some sanity in my life this week, I didn't tell him we were going on Thursday. I just suggested that we might go some day.

The last time I went to the circus I was 18 years old and it was a double date. My strongest memory of the night is when one of the elephants pooped. My friend lost her mind when it happened and I laughed until my sides hurt. If an elephant poops on stage this time, I'll be with not one but three people who will go crazy. And I'll probably laugh just as hard.

Now I received this great discount code for Ringling Bros and I wanted to make sure I passed it along. I hope you can take advantage of it. It's a great deal!!

Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey® proudly presents Over The Top

Offer #1: Get 4 tickets for just $44 by entering the code "MOM" at select ticketing channels** including http://www.ticketmaster.com. Offer good on all performances, minimum purchase of 4 tickets required; additional tickets above 4 can be purchased at $11 each. Offer not valid on Gold Circle Seating, Circus Celebrity Seating, Front Row and VIP seating or combinable with other offers. Other Restrictions May Apply.

The tickets can be purchased from http://www.ticketmaster.com and by entering the MOM code in the MomCentral promotional box when purchasing tickets.

Offer #2: A select amount of Front Row and VIP seats have been reserved for you to buy before they go on sale to the public - just enter the code "MOM" when purchasing those seats.

***********************************************
Washington D.C. Show dates: March 19 through March 22
Washington D.C. location: http://www.verizoncenter.com/

Baltimore show dates: March 25 through April 5
Baltimore location: 1st Mariner Arena http://www.baltimorearena.com/

Fairfax, VA Show dates: April 8 through April 19
Fairfax, VA location: http://www.patriotcenter.com/

Here are the dates for the other communities the coupon code works for these dates too!!

Houston
Disney On Ice presents Mickey and Minnie's Magical Journey
April 15-April 19

Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey® proudly presents Over The Top
July 15-July 26

Dallas/Ft Worth
Disney On Ice presents Mickey & Minnie's Magical Journey
March 18-March 29

Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey® proudly presents Over The Top
July 29-August 16

Sunrise/Miami
Disney On Ice presents Worlds of Fantasy
March 26-April 5

Toronto
Disney On Ice presents Worlds of Fantasy
March 18-March 22

Kansas City
Disney On Ice presents Mickey & Minnie's Magical Journey
April 1-April 5

Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey® proudly presents Over The Top
September 16-September 20

Denver
Disney On Ice presents a Disneyland® Adventure
March 12-March 15

Phoenix
Disney On Ice presents a Disneyland® Adventure
April 9-April 12

Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey® presents ZING ZANG ZOOM
June 24-June 28

Chicago/Rosemont
Disney On Ice celebrates 100 Years of Magic
Sept 8-Sept 13

Newark/East Rutherford/Uniondale/NYC
Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey® presents ZING ZANG ZOOM
March 5 - April 13

Offer not valid on performances from April 10 - 13 at Madison Square Garden

Philadelphia
Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey® presents ZING ZANG ZOOM
May 13-May 25

Anaheim/LA/Ontario
Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey® presents ZING ZANG ZOOM
July 8-August 2

San Francisco
Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey® presents ZING ZANG ZOOM
August 12-August 23

Sacramento
Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey® presents ZING ZANG ZOOM
August 27-August 30

I Have a Hard Enough Time Believing I'm a Parent

2009-03-04T22:58:00.004-05:00

Rick and George* were quite the stoners in high school.

Both great guys, they were pretty easy-going--you know the weed and all--friendly, quick to laugh--again with the weed--fun--even without the weed (I mean I think I saw them when they weren't stoned)--bright--despite the weed--athletic--and that's tough with the weed--and they were friends of mine.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that George and Rick smoked a little dope back in the 80's.

Tonight I spoke to George for the first time in ten years. With what I assume was a completely straight face, he told me about a recent conversation he had with Rick.

Apparently, Rick was experiencing a dilemma and needed some advice. Rick wanted to know if George thought it would be okay to let his 13 y.o. son go see Clerks 2.

Let me paint this for you in a slightly different way.

Bill and Ted have kids of their own and consult with each other on how best to raise them.

*Names have been changed to protect the guilty.

Calling All Gardeners: Get Your Gardening Questions Answered TODAY!

2009-02-23T07:04:00.004-05:00

I wanted to let you all know that The Motherhood will be hosting live text chat TODAY at noon EST with a horticulture expert from Burpee Seed Co. For those of us who are interested in healthy living, we know that fresh vegetables straight from your garden are the best. Please plan to be there and tell your friends.

We will post questions for the horticulturist which she will answer LIVE, and generally have a live conversation together about planting our seedlings and growing veggies all summer long! Growing our own veggies saves serious money and is so good for us too! Plan to be there, it is not often you get full access to a horticulturist like this! Can't wait!

And there will be lots of seed giveaways, too!

Noon TODAY - come to the Raising Our Kids and a Garden Too Circle at noon!!

Water Works

2009-02-09T23:06:00.003-05:00

I think I have a new photography obsession.

Luckily, I have some enthusiastic assistants.

Home on Fumes

2009-01-29T22:08:00.003-05:00

I'm kinda hinky about religion. I'm trying to work on it, but this general outlook results in a habit of not making bargains with G*d.

I do, however, on occasion find the need to enter into small agreements with inanimate objects and small children and pets who have no possible way to understand the ramifications of the covenant I'm making with them.

When my adorable, little puppy ran into the middle of a flag football game being played by a dozen hot guys down on the Mall that day in my 20's, I promised then that I would forgive the future destruction of one item that she was sure to undertake.

When my youngest child behaved incredibly in the ER waiting room for hours on that visit when he was two? Well he doesn't know it yet, but he has one free pass on breaking curfew when he's a teenager.

I forgot to get gas before leaving for home tonight (what is it about the gauge that it always ends up in my blind spot?). I had to be home in twenty minutes. There was no time to stop and even to make it in that time I'd have to take the HOV lanes (there are no gas stations or exits on the HOV lanes).

The needle was on empty as I pulled out of the garage. The little orange light was on.

I really didn't want to run out of gas. I didn't want to stand in the cold. I didn't want to wait for AAA to bail me out. I DID NOT want to hear it from my husband.

So I made a bargain with the car.

She has more than 100,000 miles on her. I tend not to give her the respect she deserves. I often let my eyes stray to other cuter, younger cars.

But I made a bargain with her.

My little car got me home tonight. I wasn't late, and more importantly I didn't have to listen to my husband rant about my inability to pay attention to the gauge (or the clock).

So I will stick by my promise. Next time I'm tempted dismiss that little car, I'll remember she got me home on fumes.

A Thought From Game Night

2009-01-28T20:28:00.003-05:00

I'm sure playing cards were purposefully created to be difficult for children to hold in a fan to keep them from losing all their money at poker.

Turns Out I'm Sugar Mamma to the CEOs

2009-01-26T18:01:00.004-05:00

This bailout makes me want to storm executive suites and board rooms with a wooden spoon in one hand a pair of leather gloves in the other.

WHO THE HELL DO THESE CORPORATE CEOs THINK THEY ARE?!!!!!!!!!!

Today we hear that Citigroup is buying a corporate jet for $50 million. How much was the check they just received that included my hard-earned tax dollars?

Last week after Bank of America took over Merrill Lynch, we heard that Merrill's CEO (who no longer has a job now) had just spent $1 million renovating his office--most likely having to put his designer on hold while he groveled to Congress for some of the bailout funds.

These are just two small examples out of hundreds I could go and research if I wasn't so irate.

I'm a dyed-in-the-wool liberal. I believe the government does have to help prevent hard-working citizens (and their children) from living below the poverty line--or even at the poverty line.

BUT I CAN'T SUPPORT THIS BAILOUT FOR ONE MORE MINUTE!!!

I don't believe GM employees should lose their jobs. I don't want entire areas of our country to turn into rust belts. But they're about too.

And you know who needs to take responsibility?? The CEOs and other corporate leaders who drove their companies into the ground.

If you ask me, it would be too kind to string them up by their wrists, slather their armpits in pollen and let some bees loose.

When their personal bank accounts and stock holdings have been zeroed out, then--and only then may they be welcome on my doorstep (and they better be on their knees) to ask for help.

Every day we're hearing about more stores closing, friends losing jobs, companies laying off employees.

The bailout money isn't stopping any of this. When will citizens rise up and scream NO MORE?!

I could rant here forever, but I think I've already been incoherent enough for one day.

I blame it on my anger.

It's fierce, it's white and it's hot.

Hmmmm...sorta like me.

Wisdom Inspired by Seuss

2009-01-22T22:43:00.004-05:00

"I wish I had a tail. Then I could grab things from behind me."

-- 6 y.o. commenting on Dr. Seuss' Oh the Thinks You Can Think

1.20.09--And We Lived Happily...

2009-01-20T21:05:00.007-05:00

What an incredible weekend! What an incredible day!!

I'm exhausted and I'm not sure why, but I think it's because I've been holding my breath for so long.

And today I exhaled.

I expected tears, but none came. There were plenty of goosebumps, but no tears--and I cry at the M&M Easter Bunny commercial every year.

Barak Obama doesn't represent a panacea to the world's problems to me, but the possibility of change in our country that makes me hopeful.

I tried to figure out how to convey the importance of this event to my sons. I brought the two oldest to the inaugural concert on Sunday.

We all watched the swearing in (on our feet) today.

But I don't know if they understand.

And you know what? That's okay. It means that they see nothing remarkable about a black man leading our country. Hopefully some day they will think nothing of a woman or someone of hispanic descent or of gay identity leading our country.

A world where my children don't expect that all leaders are white men? Is it really true?

Now I think I may cry.

Let It All Hang Out!

2009-01-12T15:04:00.005-05:00

I see these exotic (and not so exotic) locations stream by on my stat counter every day and I wonder about who you are sitting in front of your computer screen and what brought you to my little corner of the interwebs.

Blogging turns out to be more revealing than I originally thought it would be. Who knows, maybe I just happen to be more of an exhibition*st than I originally thought. I mean I've shared moments of pride and moments of...well...moments.

Either way, it's time for you dear readers to give back.

Peek out from behind your keyboards and say hi. Tell me a bit about yourself. If I know you in real life, leave me a hint.

Who knows. If I find out my readers are all women I might feel free to talk about my b00bs more.

Loss

2009-01-09T16:34:00.004-05:00

Sometimes when you lose something you don't even notice it's gone until you see it in an old picture and casually wonder where it went. Other times, the loss is so great you don't know if you'll ever stop looking in the back of that drawer just one more time.

Why are some things so hard to let go?

Bedtime Stories (without Adam Sandler)

2009-01-07T22:55:00.004-05:00

Bedtime has arrived again and I haven't recorded any grand thoughts, figured out which came first--the chicken or the egg--or even found some mildly funny words to make at least myself giggle.

In exchange for the prophetic, I leave you with some little nuggets of late.

As I sat in the doctor's waiting room today--the foot and ankle surgeon--I looked up and took in the image of the man in a wheelchair sitting across from me. He had no legs from the knees down. WHAT THE HELL WAS HE DOING SEEING A FOOT AND ANKLE SPECIALIST?? HE DIDN'T HAVE ANY.

First grader came home from school before the holidays with a 3-D paper creation. The hubs complimented him on his dreidel. Son gave him the hairy eyeball and proclaimed, "Duh, it's not a dreidel dad, it's a lantern. The Jews use it to celebrate Ramadan."

My first activity of the new year was so incredible that I don't know how the rest of the year is going to be able to compare. I woke at 7:00 a.m. to the sounds of a whining puppy. I tried the time-tested approach of putting the pillow over my head to make her stop, but that approach was a failure. I rolled out of bed, threw on the closest items to protect any still-partying neighbors from the sight of my pale flesh and shuffled down stairs. And what was I greeted with?? A nearly six month-old puppy covered in her own poop looking up at me from her crate. So weird how the rest of my family was so tired they didn't hear any of the whining.

There I was trying to get her out into the backyard and the crate...well somewhere without getting covered myself. Crate unceremoniously deposited in the carport awaiting some other sleeping ass's attention, the puppy was brought upstairs for a bath--AT 7 FREAKING 30 on New Year's Day. Oh yeah, it's gonna take a lot to improve on the start of this year.

My Absence

2009-01-05T14:19:00.004-05:00

My muse has run away. I hope to be able to write again without him, but I don't know.

He was actually my personal cabana boy and I relied upon him to bring me fruity adult beverages with little tiny umbrellas. Those drinky-poos and his handsome visage caused the words to flow like coconut-scented tanning oil.

Right now I am just grieving the loss.

I just know the asshole is some place warm not even giving me a second thought.

Serves me right for hiring on looks.

What Am I Doing?!

2008-12-09T22:52:00.002-05:00

Cruising the web I happened upon this amazing HP giveaway hosted by Down to Earth Mama. I entered because I loved how she was encouraging entrants to donate part of the prize package to someone who needed it more. Beautiful.

She then had an option to earn a bonus entry.

"Write on a message board or your blog a post about how you have or plan to make the world a bit better."

And all of the sudden, I got to thinking.

What AM I doing to make the world a bit better?

I'm not sure I'm satisfied with my answer.

I spent the first seven years of my career working for a non-profit--it's why I moved to DC. I wanted to "save" the world. It was easy then to get involved with projects, to volunteer. Heck my job was one I felt was making the world a bit better.

But then I had kids and realized a savings might be a good idea.

I went to work for a company and what was I doing then? Sure I helped organize the annual Adopt-a-Family for Christmas project at work, but really?? I never felt like I had time. I had small kids. I worked full time. I was exhausted (okay I still am).

But my kids are a bit older now. I'm with a new company. I know I am more fortunate that most.

So what am I doing?

I volunteer a good bit of time as a board member for both the PTA and the little league. I am focusing on raising three boys to be good, caring, kind people. I make micro-contributions where I can. I participate in social networks because I hope that in some way I am helping to bring people together.

But is this enough?

What are you doing to make the world a bit better? I could use some good ideas.

We Have a Winner!!!

2008-12-06T12:44:00.004-05:00

Pulling in more than half of all the total votes, URBAN MAMA is the winner of a brand new Wii and Wii Fit w/Balance Board.

Sandie, I think I can speak for all of us when I say thank you for honoring us by sharing your story.

I wasn't sure if I wanted to post, because my reasons for wanting to lose weight aren't funny.

Two months ago, my mother died after fighting colon cancer for eight years. She's the second person in our family to die of colon cancer, which can be hereditary.

As I was searching through her files afterward, I found an odd collage of pictures of my siblings and me mixed with magazine clippings, play money and hand-written notes from my mother. It was one of those spiritual self-help, "wish list" exercises. She wished for us to have loving spouses, beautiful homes, successful careers, etc. But the pictures of me were pasted on the bodies of thin fitness models. Underneath she wrote: "This is Sandie happy because she's a healthy weight."

Finding that photo was such a heartbreaking shock. I knew my mother always wanted me to lose weight, but seeing that posterboard was horrifying. I looked at myself in the mirror and realized she was right. I need to do something this coming year to get to my true age's fitness level. I'm sick of looking 52 instead of 32.

So why do I need a Wii Fit? Because I need a way to work out at home (with three kids under 7 and a husband who's rarely home before 8:30, gym membership isn't feasible right now), so I can be healthy, not just for myself, but so I can ward off colon cancer and at the same time fulfill my mother's wish.

I hope you find hours of fun and health for you and your family in this Wii and Wii Fit.

YOU Pick the Winner!

2008-12-05T15:35:00.006-05:00

Okay, here are the finalists for the Wii/Wii Fit package.

You, my dear readers, are in charge of voting for the winner.

Please read the six comments below (I know I said there would be 5 finalists, but there are six. It's my blog. I get to change the rules.).

In the comments, please cast your vote for ONE--and only one--commenter. No anonymous comments will be accepted on this post. You may only vote once. (I'd have used a poll widget but the comments are too long--man you guys are long-winded.)

In the case of a tie, I will put both names in a hat and select one.

I want to thank everyone who entered the contest. I wish I had enough to give away to each and every one of you. It was hard just to pick these. Thank goodness I had help. Love you Kris!! Seriously, I have a stomach ache just thinking about disappointing some people by pushing publish.

So without further ado...Get voting! Voting will be closed at 9:00 a.m. tomorrow morning and a winner will be posted.

Good LUCK!!


Lumpyheadsmom said...: My husband is worried he exceeds the recommended weight limit for the Wii Fit. A bit of a chicken/egg problem, no?

Let me throw in an entry for my dad. He was in a bowling league for years - every Wednesday night when I was growing up. He has battled rheumatoid arthritis since I was in high school; today Dad is not able to hold a bowling ball - his fingers have been deformed by the disease - and is not strong enough to throw a ball down the lane.

Lumpyhead got a Wii for his birthday. (Long story. But we think he's too young for it, so he doesn't know it exists.)

On Thursday night, thanks to his grandson's Wii, my dad was able to bowl for the first time in 20 years. He was almost giddy, and his reaction to bowling again was thrilling to watch. Now the minute Lumpyhead goes to bed, Dad starts pestering us to BOWL!

He needs his own damn Wii.

Christina said...: [To the tune of The Beverly Hillbillies Theme]

Come and listen to a story of a girl named… me
This last year, well, we grew our family (adoption, but STILL)
Then one day when I stepped upon the scale
I realized that I’d become a friggin’ whale.

Orca whale
Chubby fool
buffet bar (wth, I know. IT RHYMED.)

Well the first thing you know I slipped into a funk
My clothes got kind of tight and I retreated like a monk
I took walks around the park to get some exercise
But I haven’t lost much weight and that rubbing sound’s my thighs.

So now it’s time to say to you that I would like a Wii
If I won the Wii and Fit I think that I might pee
You’re all so kind to host this contest regardless of who wins
But if you choose me I promise to lose at least a couple chins.

Y’all can pick me, y’hear?

==

Okay, in all seriousness - I’d integrate this into my life by using the Fit during the kids’ naptimes and/or after they go to bed. I’ve put on weight since we’ve had both the babies (14 mos & 17 mos) because I’m not getting out to the gym anymore. I’m a stay-at-home mom - my husband is gone 13-14 hrs a day - and if I’m going to be here by myself when they’re sleeping, I think it would be FUN to exercise. Plus, I need to get more fit because carrying their heavy little bods is starting to take a toll.

Urban Mama said...: I wasn't sure if I wanted to post, because my reasons for wanting to lose weight aren't funny.

Two months ago, my mother died after fighting colon cancer for eight years. She's the second person in our family to die of colon cancer, which can be hereditary.

As I was searching through her files afterward, I found an odd collage of pictures of my siblings and me mixed with magazine clippings, play money and hand-written notes from my mother. It was one of those spiritual self-help, "wish list" exercises. She wished for us to have loving spouses, beautiful homes, successful careers, etc. But the pictures of me were pasted on the bodies of thin fitness models. Underneath she wrote: "This is Sandie happy because she's a healthy weight."

Finding that photo was such a heartbreaking shock. I knew my mother always wanted me to lose weight, but seeing that posterboard was horrifying. I looked at myself in the mirror and realized she was right. I need to do something this coming year to get to my true age's fitness level. I'm sick of looking 52 instead of 32.

So why do I need a Wii Fit? Because I need a way to work out at home (with three kids under 7 and a husband who's rarely home before 8:30, gym membership isn't feasible right now), so I can be healthy, not just for myself, but so I can ward off colon cancer and at the same time fulfill my mother's wish.

ZenMom said...: Oh, I would LOVE this. I was just telling The Husband the other day how great it would if we could afford a Wii and the whole Wii fit package so that we could all "play" together as a family.

As a working mom to two little boys, I'm learning how hard it can be to make time for healthy activity for all of us.

In the Summer, we try to go out to the playground or for a walk whenever we can for a bit of play and exercise.

But, in the winter, I'm afraid we are couch potatoes. I hate going out in the cold weather - especially having to bundle up the boys. :)

With the Wii fit, we could have some healthy play INDOORS! AND maybe Mommy could get in a bit of me-time exercise after the boys are in bed.

I think this would be a great motivator to stay fit and healthy - and it would set a good example for my kids, too.

I know I don't have much chance of winning. But I think it's great that you are doing this. Thanks.
Neil said...: My tale is a sad one, so you better sit down for this one. It also might disqualify me from this contest, because the truth is I already bought a wii and a wii fit, back in the old days when it was so limited that you had to wait for an email alert to tell you that it was available. For a few months, my life was complete and I was happy for the first time. I played tennis, bowling, and even got my aggression out of my system with some wii boxing. But then my wife, Sophia, fell in love with the Wii Fit. She became obsessed with it. This was a woman who had a membership to a gym for 10 years, but never walked inside, and now she had found the ultimate fitness friend -- the wii. Every day, I now found her exercising, her wii "age" decreasing daily. Our lives were never the same. One evening, I came home and found that the entire coffee table had been permanently moved into the garage. The Wii platform stood in the middle of the room, facing the TV, as if it was a religious shrine. The couch was covered with exercise clothes, towels, bottle water, and wii "numchucks." Sophia was jumping up and down, furiously.

"Hey, how about we have sex tonight?" I asked my beautiful wife.

"Not now!" she yelled, her eyes focused on the screen, "I'm in the middle of Dance Dance Revolution!"

I had lost her to a Wii.

A few weeks later, we separated. I moved to New York. She got the house, the TV, the car, and the Wii. I got... well, I got nothing.

I became depressed. I was living with my mother in Queens. At night, I would just eat cake and ice cream and bagels and pizza. And that was just for dinner. I would continue to snack all night as I watched these annoying girlflicks on Lifetime with my mother. Ironically, I would be the one crying at the end when the woman learned that the plumber she fell in love with was really a graduate of Harvard Law School.

Yesterday, in a dream, I saw my future -- and it was not a happy one. I was out of shape, still blogging for no pay, still watching Lifetime movies, and still living with my mother. It was a wake-up call. I looked at my pasty naked body in the full length mirror (first making sure my mother wasn't home, because that would be embarrassing), and decided it was time for me to get into shape. It was time for me to reclaim ME! (to be said in a very Oprah-esqe way)

But how? I thought of jogging, but it is December... and freezing outside. I could ask Sophia for joint custody of the Wii, but I didn't have the money for the legal fees. And I KNOW she would fight for it.

But I need to get back into shape. For my self-confidence. For my health. For the stamina to make love to a woman for hours like I used to do in my twenties (I'm just throwing that in, hoping to appeal to MommaLoves, who I know has a dirty mind, so I figure it will give me some brownie points). I wish I had the money to buy another wii and wii fit. But, you know, with the economy and all. Thank God Obama was elected who will solve everything! I am sooo glad that I voted for him and was one of his earliest supporters. Of course, that does not mean that several of the other commenters, who voted for McCain, should be dismissed from this contest. That would be un-American. But I am just saying.

Fiesty Charlie said... First let me bow down before the great give away Goddess (that would be YOU)and pay my respects... Ut oh, now I am stuck in a bowing position.

Oh well, nice shoes, where did you get them?

I could never wear shoes like that, because one they are way to pretty for me, and two both my knees are shot. I would break my neck.

Wait... sorry spasm in my lower back, because I am so out of shape.

I did not used to be like this, a long time ago I was rather buff so to speak. I was working as an EMT, out saving lives.... then one day, my knees stopped working as well as they once did and boom, my career was kaput.

A few surgeries later and I am at least able to walk, but not much more especially in cold, damp weather.

I am not going to look you in the eye and lie, mainly because at the moment all I can see are your shoes, because my back gave out...

I know there are many people more deserving than me, who should win this Wii.

I just want it, and unlike the people in Walmart, I am not willing to trample over others to get it. After all it is just a game. A game that might allow me to regain my buff status, and help me lose the weight that plagues my very existence.

A game that might allow me to regain my buff status, lose the weight that plagues my existence and might help me make a few friends, even if they just want to be my friend to play my Wii.

I will say that if I don't win the game, I can always get a job as a butler I guess, an overweight butler who is always bent over looking at cute shoes, and walks with a double limp.

Thanks for the chance to live above my destiny.... I need to go practice saying, "Yes Madame, how may I serve you?"

{wink}

Starting the Holidays Off Right

2008-12-01T00:19:00.002-05:00

Hope you all had a terrific Thanksgiving. We certainly did here.

I am so excited to tell you about this very cool giveaway that I'm hosting this week.

Due to certain rules, I can't tell you about it here so you'll have to click on over to my review blog and read this post:

Wii Love the Holidays

to get all the details.

Can't wait to see your comments!

Best of the Tweets--Thursday, November 20, 2008

2008-11-20T15:37:00.010-05:00

I watch the Twitter stream flow throughout the day. One cannot comment on every one, but here are some that caught my eye today.

@ADDmoms Have you tried searching with http://www.summize.com It may help if you can remember what the Tweet said... [identity withheld to protect the guilty]

Really?? Did you really send this to ADDMoms??

My husband just confessed he wishes he was a superhero. He was being serious. LauralOutLoud

I think all of our husbands are serious about this.

@MomDot My mom died of cancer in 2004 and I felt MomFaves was the best a way I could preserve her memory. She loved sharing her faves . JoshUnfried

As a mom of three boys, this just made my heart swell. Follow Josh.

@mammaloves I believe the bell pealed and you peeled an orange, so it's eye's peeled, lol watkins_lady

I'm still confused.

If you laminated your laundry all you'd have to do is wipe it off. ilinap

Brilliant!

@cckarl you just scared the shit out of me w/ that thing paullyoung

These types of conversations should really stay in the bedroom.

My SIL bakes 10 pies for Txgiving. One for each person. Here's her recipe for pecan pie. (it's easy) http://tinyurl.com/5vn7y8 sourwine

My SIL must not love us that much.

Pitch of the Day: Are your sperm strong swimmers? Um...wait...I know this answer...uh...probably...if I had any. thompsonclan6

And I thought the Viagra ads were bad.

Epson printer giveaway contest on SV Moms http://tinyurl.com/6xhay9 svmom

I have this printer. You should definitely enter.

Australian Man Arrested for Pleasure Via Pasta Sauce Jar http://tinyurl.com/5swuue truerumors

I can't even bring myself to click on that link.

You're Getting Warmer

2008-11-17T15:21:00.004-05:00

Congratulations! You've found the sixth blog in the SHARE the LOVE Scavenger Hunt!

Can't tell you how happy I was to be asked to be a stop on the road to one of the coolest sites around. You just need to find one more blog for your final clue.

If you're just hearing about this scavenger hunt for the first time here, click on over to Mommy Needs Coffee to get started. There are cool prizes like goodies from Orville Redenbacher, Rice Krispies (wonderful treat kits) and Wendy’s and also handcrafted jewelry, bags; and more!

You have until Friday to finish The Hunt.

So let's get you moving on to the next awesome blogging mom.

To find her, you must travel to New Jersey, get past the chocolate lab and possibly wade through 2 piles of laundry. If that doesn't work, you could just ask John Stamos or the Olsen twins for directions.

Good luck!!!

Edited to add: HOLD UP a moment! Some of the other moms on the hunt are reporting that you're telling them they're beautiful. Why am I only getting "found you"? Is it my hair? Do you hate my hair? Wait, no! It's the eyebrows. I knew it. Guess I do need a wax.

"White Trash Mom" Not A Look, but a Way of Life

2008-11-12T01:42:00.001-05:00

"White Trash Mom" You may bristle at the term.

I'm still a bit sensitive to it from time-to-time, but I've met Michelle Lamar in real life (oh alright, I love her). There isn't a mean bone in that woman's body (unless you're a member of the Muffia) so I know it's not a term meant to demean but rather to unify those of us who don't feel we fit into modern June Cleaver model.

Wait, you do? Why the hell are you still here?

I'm kidding. Relax. That's what being a "White Trash Mom" is all about.

I established yesterday that I never feel like I fit in. Do you think becoming a mother rectified that?

Hardly.

When my son first came to live with us at the age of three we were so green at parenthood that we took him to happy hour with us. That stopped with #2 because I was too tired to even consider happy hour.

What was our first son's first favorite song? Faithfully by Journey. You don't think he learned to love it by me playing The Wiggles in the car do you?

My youngest son has worn nothing but baseball pants every day for the past two years. Every. Day. I'm not phased because my middle son wore flip-flops every day for two years straight often on the wrong feet or mixing pairs for months.

Will my boys be permanently scarred by my approach to motherhood?

It's entirely possible, but pretty unlikely.

And it's not like they aren't going to dysfunctional adults one way or another. I mean look at our parents (of course, not you Mom). They grew up in the June Cleaver generation.

If the way I mother my boys qualifies me as a "White Trash Mom" according to Michelle, then RIGHT ON!

My oldest just made the Honor Roll, my second is reading ahead of grade level and my youngest has been helping me fold laundry.

Doesn't get much better than that.

This post was written as part of the SV Moms Book Club. Check out DC Metro Moms to see links to other posts about the book.

The Naked JellyBean

2008-11-10T22:30:00.003-05:00

Today I described how I see myself in my mind's eye as a naked, flesh-colored jelly bean.

I'm not sure that this is a description that will mean anything to anyone else. I'm not sure it's exactly the vision I have, but it comes closest. Maybe you'd get a better idea if I added that it's probably one of those gross booger-flavored jelly beans from Harry Potter--I've steered clear of Jelly Belly's in fear of getting one of those ever since I read the first book.

Why a naked jelly bean?

It's mostly the amorphous blob shape, I imagine.

When I told my friend this he laughed and shook his head at me.

Last night I had the chance to talk to a childhood friend who told me that she always thought I was the "together" one. We were in 5th grade the last time we saw each other. How could I have been "together" in 5th grade? I'll tell you what, I wasn't.

But this is a trend. People often think I look like I know what I'm doing. A lot of times I do. But many times I don't. Many times I feel like I'm the only person in the room who doesn't have it all together.

I don't know why I'm telling you this. I probably shouldn't, but I can't get the image of the naked, flesh-colored jelly bean out of my head.

Oh yeah, and I'm way jealous of people with good handwriting.

Your Blue Eyes

2008-11-09T23:51:00.000-05:00

I have a feeling I'm only the first woman who will fall in love with those eyes of yours.

I don't know if it's their dark blue color, those ridiculously long eye-lashes or the ever-present sparkle that melts my heart every time.

Whatever it is, they will serve you well. Of course, you seem to already know that you little stinker.

Mobile Blogger Screw-up or Beer?

2008-11-08T22:48:00.001-05:00

I wrote this post from a bar Saturday night and for some reason rather than posting here it created a new blog. Confusing...

It's NaBloPoMo so I need to post but I'm actually out on a Saturday night!!!

I know it's hard to believe.

We're celebrating Kris'(http://www.notyetawino.com) birthday. I am happy to report she doesn't look any older than last week--it might be the new cute haircut--and we're having fun.

Stop by her blog, wish her Happy Birthday.

Oh yeah, Devra (http://www.parentopia.com), Laurie (http://www.lauriewrites.typepad.com), Kim (http://www.kimsnotebook.com), and Ryan (http://theplatinumyears.blogspot.com) are all here too--plus many more.

Okay, i've written enough for doing this from a BlackBerry in a bar. I love you, but I love my night out more.

Cheers!!

Summer Breeze

2008-11-07T23:18:00.001-05:00

This was a FANTASTIC day. Simply fantastic.

It's Starting as an Idea

2008-11-06T22:46:00.002-05:00

Did you ever have an idea that you knew everyone would think was crazy?

Did you proceed with it or did you put it aside and always wonder "what if?"

Well I have an idea and I think I'm going to go for it.

There are enough regrets over missed opportunities in my past because I was too afraid to fail. Here I am trying to raise three boys to understand that failure is part of life and you have to just keep trying and yet I've been too afraid to fail.

Not this time.

So here it is.

I want to organize a HUGE tweet-up in conjunction with President-elect Obama's inauguration. I want to organize it entirely using social media and relationships developed through social media. I want it to draw main stream attention to social media and Twitter. Frankly, I want it to be so big that the President-elect actually stops by to say hi.

Who am I to pull this off? I'm a mommyblogger of three, an almost 40 year old woman with a full-time job and honestly that more than qualifies me to make it happen. Right??

I won't be able to do it alone.

I'll need the help and connections and sponsors of fellow social media devotees and those who want to reach them, but isn't that what social media is all about--one person starting with an idea, bringing it to the group and growing it from there.

Want to get on board?

Join up here.

I don't know if I'll really be able to make this happen, but I've been inspired by the words I keep hearing from our next President.

Yes We Can!

How can you help out??

Backwards Experience Election My

2008-11-05T22:09:00.009-05:00

Everyone gets doughnuts on Election Day!

Obama-supporting firefighters are very cool and will take pictures with kids visiting the polls.

See what I mean? Everyone gets doughnuts on Election Day!

And kids get special stickers from the poll workers at the Obama table--the last ones.

Obama poll workers are incredibly friendly--and they didn't even know the outcome yet.

Maybe it's because they had doughnuts AND all of these snacks to keep them going.

Oh yeah! Lots of snacks to keep them going.

I whispered "I hope so." when this screen came up.

By now the boys thought I was crazy for photographing every screen, but it felt important. I was voting for...

YES I Did!!

I had the boys check to make sure I selected all the right buttons.

These are the machines Fairfax County is phasing out. I used one to vote any way.

From now on you'll hide behind these cute little cubicles to fill in your paper ballot.

The poll monitors didn't seem to have a whole bunch to do.

All walks of life in line, which I may add wasn't that long.

I'm not sure of the point of carrying this easily copied piece of paper from one table to the voting booth, but I complied. I'm law-abiding like that.

We found the place! Also known as the 8th grade gym at my son's school.

We were out by 10:30 a.m.

Helpful signs on the school monitor.

Isn't that a friendly school? I waved back.

We had to put the brochures back after the picture because we couldn't carry them inside. All three of our candidates won. VA is BLUE!!

This just made me feel good. I knew they were looking out for us.

And we were out so quickly, because there were no lines when we got there.

The signs were crammed in all the way up to the last inch before the no campaign zone. Before you even entered the school you could feel the excitement of the day.

And it was an exciting day. Of course that's because it turned out the way I'd hoped it would, but I had a really good reason...

I'm so proud that they wanted to come with me, because my vote? It was all about them (and their sleeping little brother at home).

Eight Years Ago Tonight

2008-11-04T19:49:00.003-05:00

On Election night eight years ago, I was at a trade association poll watching party at about this time. These were the days when news outlets were still calling results based on exit polls.

I stood in a large crowd, one of the lone Democrats, when Pennsylvania was called for Gore. You could hear the collective groan as the news popped up on screen after screen throughout the
room.

My heart started racing. It took everything I had not to let out a loud "Woot!" but I was surrounded by clients and I was new to my job.

With Pennsylvania over, the party started dying down which gave me the opening I wanted to head over to the party I REALLY wanted to attend--the Democratic Party party at the Mayflower Hotel.

I jumped in my car, raced through downtown DC wanting to be among my people--old friends to hug and new friends to high five. Throwing all caution to the wind, I pulled into the valet, threw the bell captain my keys and ran into the ballroom. And I was so confused.

It was quiet.

Had everyone cheered too loudly and lost their voice? Were they worn out from jumping up and down and just taking a rest?

No. The news outlets realized they had prematurely called the race. In the time it took me to get across town, the whole election had turned around. We stood in the ballroom for hours and continued to hug, but the hugs were not to celebrate they were to console.

It would be weeks before we all knew the "official" outcome of the race--weeks before I gave up.

Tonight I am far more hopeful for a Democratic win, but I'm far more cynical too.

I hope the main stream media doesn't screw it up again.

Potato Chip Pundit

2008-11-03T23:00:00.006-05:00

You, mere mortals, may look at my kitchen table and see only a mess.

It's okay. Not everyone has "the gift."

Because the message I read in the chips; however, is so important I'm going to share it with you today.

You don't wanna mess with the force of the chip.

A Spontaneous Trip

2008-11-02T23:33:00.013-05:00

Today we were up with the birdies to head south for the last baseball game of the season. Waking up at 6:15 a.m. on a Sunday morning isn't my favorite thing to do, but the drive was beautiful with all the fall colors and it was just me and my boy.

It's not often we get to have that much time together alone.

We were done by 11:20 a.m. and ready to head home having just lost by one run in the bottom of the last inning. He just wanted to get out of there.

"I hate losing mom."

"I know but you got to get out there and play a sport you love with your friends. Think about M who played a whole season without winning and still had a smile after every game."

"Yeah, that's true, but it doesn't hurt to win every once in a while." "And you know what I hate about losing? It means we didn't do something right. We could have played better."

He was really okay. He doesn't take it as hard as some kids. And I love that he thinks about how he can make changes to affect the outcome next time.

Sorry--little bragging.

The terrific thing about living in Virginia is that we are surrounded by historical landmarks. How often do we take advantage of them? Not often. But we were up and out and it was still early and we actually had a Sunday afternoon with no plans, so I suggested a detour to Fredericksburg--just me and him--on the way home.

What a great day!

We visited Kenmore, the home of Fielding and Betty Lewis (George Washington's sister). It was built before the Civil War and is going through restoration right now.

Big A wasn't too psyched about the idea of taking a tour, but it was just the two of us on it and even without furniture in the house he was filled with questions.

He really was interested in how people lived, in how old things were, and had clearly paid attention to some of his history lessons being able to talk to the docent about Virginia history.

I walked around with a perma-grin the entire time.

Done with our tour, he then begged me to go over and visit the Fredericksburg Civil War battle site. How can you say no to a kid who wants to do more "hysterical" stuff as we joke in my family.

He could barely contain his excitement. He kept saying "do you think a confederate soldier stood here?" (I'd move one step to the left and say "no I think they stood right here.")

The Civil War has never been something that interested me greatly--until today. Walking along the trails and looking over the fields where thousands of young men were killed fighting to protect a version of their country, I was struck by how much we take for granted even in at a divisive political time such as this election.

It wasn't lost on me that those boys on that battle field could have been my boys. I owe it to those soldiers and the families who lost them to think of them and remember their sacrifice. And to be grateful for their passion to protect a country that really was still such a new experiment.

It's easy to forget sometimes.

There were plaques around the cemetery with stanzas from a poem(s?) (I still don't know which one, but will research it.) that say it better than I ever could.

I titled this photo above "hope." For the words are my wish for my boys, their children and their children's children.

Letters from the Future

2008-11-01T20:07:00.004-04:00

I have quite a bit I'd like to tell this girl (other than the name of a good eye brow waxer and hair stylist).

There's so much she doesn't know. There's so much she'll fret over that isn't worth the energy. There's so much she'll miss because of unnecessary fear.

I'd tell her to spend more time enjoying the little moments. I'd tell her there are some people she should spend more time with and others who don't deserve even a minute.

I have so much I'd like to tell her, but I can't.

What will I want to tell this woman in twenty years?

The brunette, not the blonde. The blonde is already brilliant.

The Mamma Loves Halloween Tradition

2008-10-31T12:14:00.003-04:00

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!

And no, that's not me. I still can't get all of the paint off from the balloons I had done for the hub's birthday.

A Pumpkin Pictorial (with commentary)

2008-10-30T06:15:00.003-04:00

Like all Great Pumpkins, our's started out something like this.

Though I just photographed this one and left it for someone else to pick.

Ours actually looked more like this:

Don't mind the warts (on the pumpkin, not my son) he had a very nice shape--until I performed the craniotomy...

Now if you're new here you might not know that I am surrounded by males. I'm currently shacking up with four men--okay three sons and one husband. Semantics.

Anyhow, I thought boys liked gross things.

But apparently not.

At least he wasn't as sad about pumpkin guts as he was about his lack of a black nose a few Halloweens ago.

And yes, despite the break from traditional Muppetry, I did give the poor kid a black nose--using make-up--so he could look like his brother. I mean wouldn't you? Look at that face.

But back to the pumpkins...and the wimpy boys in my house.

Like most men, he only wanted to help if he could use tools.

And soon he abandoned me when I refused, for the sixth time, to allow him to wield the knife. What? I think all 10 of his fingers may come in handy later (that was a bad pun and not at all intended when I wrote it, but now it's cracking me up so it stays).

And I don't know what's so gross about this anyway?

Doesn't everyone love the way pumpkins seeds feel when they're all wet and clean in the strainer?

What's with the crickets??

Whatev.

So abandoned to my pumpkins and with seeds separated from their stringy friends, I set forth to carve.

Hours later I ended up with this:

Why didn't anyone tell me how hard it is not to carve all the way into a pumpkin? There's GOT to be a trick I don't know. Should have googled it.

By the way, that's a white pumpkin, which makes the BOO more appropriate but I'm still figuring out all the settings on my camera.

And...my masterpiece:

Sure I used a stencil, but her nose?? I don't mean to be a witch or anything but that was a bitch to cut out.

Please don't focus on the wax pencil 12 above her. Why did the pumpkin patch mark the best side?? Oh and let me know if you have a trick for getting that off.

To top off the project, Vaseline has been applied and cinnamon has been sprinkled. We're ready for Friday night.

Hmmm...that didn't exactly come out the way I meant it to.

Moms on the Town

2008-10-28T08:55:00.018-04:00

What do you get when you bring together a bunch o' mammas (w/o kids), some libation and designated drivers?

That was my Friday night with the DC Metro Moms.

(you might be wondering if that is really grey hair at my roots, but I swear it's just one single bright light shining on my head and only my head--I swear!!)

Every time I get together with this amazingly beautiful, smart and hysterical group of women, I wonder who in the hell ever invited me (oh yeah, hi Jill, Beth and Tekla!!! *waves*).

I could have used another three hours to really get the chance to talk to everyone in there, but I was too busy stalking Aimee, Jessica, Diana, KC, Leticia, Stacey, Stacy and Kim; hugging on Sandie; patting the bellies of Victoria and Kristen; trying to prevent Devra, Sarah and Jodi from taking over the bar; embarrassing myself with tales of sex toys in front of Jess or yelling at Linda from across the room, I had a terrific time.

Of course I need to say a special thanks to Nicole for putting together such a great party and to GM for graciously sponsoring it.

(for the record this photo is right side up on my computer but Blogger isn't cooperating--seems to appropriate for a photo of Dev anyway, doesn't it?)

Oh and to my loser friends who couldn't make their way out to Tyson's on Friday (Steph, Joanne, Kimberly, Susan) well... see if I stalk you next time.

2008-10-22T07:00:00.001-04:00

Busy contemplating the critical issues facing humanity--or the sore joint on my left pinky--I looked up into my rear-view mirror on my drive home from work and noticed a red car behind me.

Then I looked in my side mirror, as is my habit to check all mirrors while I'm driving (I'm so safe) and there was another red car on my left.

Then I looked to my right...another red car. And in front of me? Another red car.

I was surrounded by red cars!

Okay so government agents and crime syndicates probably don't use red cars when going after a mark, but it was a little weird.

And then I looked up.

Yep. A black helicopter was flying overhead.

I'm not kidding.

Now I may not blog under my full name, but I don't wear tinfoil inside my hats. Shoot, I throw away magazines and catalogs with my name and address on them. In the trash. Without shredding the information!

You didn't know I was an international spy did you? Oh sure. I'm constantly evading convoys of red cars and black helicopters. It gets quite boring actually.

The whole suburban, working mommy blogger thing had you fooled didn't it?

Oh Robert, I Loved You

2008-10-16T21:03:00.003-04:00

Did you know how much I adored you?

Did you know that all these years later I can remember specific moments we spent together as clearly as the crisp days they occurred.

Maybe the memories seem clearer than they are because I have photos tucked away in an album. There I am looking at you with a big smile. Or there's the one where we're playing not realizing we're being photographed.

*sigh*

I had such a thing for older men then.

Or was it your twin brother Richard. It was always hard to tell you apart. Who knows. I was only five.

This memory is brought to you thanks to my friend Jennifer who was remember her own Robert today.

A Proactive Apology

2008-10-08T10:58:00.003-04:00

My kids won't find the embarrassing stories I share with the world if I do it on another blog.

Right?

Just in case they do, let me say this.

Boys,

I want you to know that I do remember what it was like to be a pre-teen and I'm not unsympathetic. It's just that I'm discovering there are certain traditions that are the rights of every parent. And when you become parents yourselves, I fully expect you to "torture" my grandbabies in the exact same way.

Please know my sweet things that the "fights" I put up to your attempts to fit in are only for show--and I am giggling in my head the whole time. For I know hormones are taking over your body, which is prohibiting you from exhibiting any normal sort of behavior--kinda like demonic possession without the projectile vomiting (there better not be any projectile vomiting).

Sharing some of your stories with my friends?? It's just that a mamma has to do something to maintain her sanity.

I love you forever,
Mom

Gov. Palin, Stop the Blame Game

2008-10-02T13:47:00.006-04:00

The following letter was written by a friend of mine who is just so exasperated by Gov. Palin' that she fired off this letter off to our dinner group. It is reprinted here with her permission. You may often see her commenting on this blog as Harried Mom of Three. I'm trying to convince her to start her own blog.

Dear Ms. Palin:

As a liberal, feminist, woman, I am not upset that John McCain picked you for what your supporters deem my “opposition to a pro-life, spunky, good looking woman.” What I am opposed to is that you are a woman who seems to have gotten to the top for ONLY being pro-life, spunky and good looking and for not having any other substance.

My great hope was that when a woman was a hair’s breath away from the top office of the land that she would actually be able to handle the job. Over the last week, you have proved that you cannot handle even the largest softball of questions from Katie Couric of all people.

How, as an American citizen and a mother, am I supposed to trust that you’ll be able to outwit world leaders when you can’t even outwit America’s journalistic sweetheart?

And, please, please stop talking about journalistic "gotchas." We’re not giving you a pop quiz. We’re trying to figure out what you are made of and whether or not we want to select you for one of the most important job in this country. You should be able to answer questions thrown at you, including naming ONE newspaper from your great state that you might read in a regular basis.

I will admit that Barack Obama has never held an executive position in government--and I’m nervous about that. However, I’m willing to give him some leeway, because he’s proven on a regular basis that he’s thoughtful, intelligent and well read.

There’s a reason that “Joe Six-Pack” shouldn’t be (vice) president and it’s because it’s a hard job filled with lots of responsibilities and it involves making many important decisions.

Stop blaming the media for YOUR inability to answer questions, stop blaming liberal women for your inability to snow these voters into supporting you and stop blaming Gwen Ifill for being biased. If your running mate's campaign didn't know she wrote that book back in August when they agreed to her as moderator of your debate then I'm afraid they read the paper as infrequently as you do.

Love,

How Do Your Kids Learn to Count?

2008-09-30T21:45:00.003-04:00

Mr. 4 asked me to wipe his bottom today after a trip to the bathroom.

Then he showed me he could count to five.

"Look mom! Five poops. One. Two. Three. Four Five."

We're not doing anything here if we aren't always looking for those teaching moments.

The Birth of the Peanut Butter Man

2008-09-28T21:40:00.006-04:00

It was a pretty afternoon (every other hour it didn't rain today) and it started like this:

And as any parent might expect, it ended like this:

I'm Breaking Up With My Orthopedist

2008-09-24T22:45:00.003-04:00

Way back in February I broke my ankle. You may remember the photo of the cast that attracted many an eastern European cast/braces fetishist to my site (thanks for the extra bucks my friends).

A physical therapist friend of mine recommended a terrific orthopedist to treat me. I loved him immediately. As the kid of a doc, I'm often hard to please when it comes to medical care, but he was personable and thorough and even cleaned my foot himself after it had stewed in a cast for six weeks.

Granted he missed a second break and a bunch of other soft tissue damage, but none of that was apparent on the x-ray. I still loved him.

His office staff is friendly. It's easy to get in to see him and you don't have to wait long in the waiting or exam room.

A virtual medical miracle.

But yesterday the love affair died.

Yesterday, at my three month check-up, we discussed some of my lingering pain and my continued inability to wear heels.

His answer?

You probably won't ever be able to wear heels again. The area of your injury is affected every time you put your foot at that angle.

*blink* *blink*

Clearly, he doesn't know that I consider Nordstrom's Shoe Department the mothership. Clearly, he hasn't seen my closet. Clearly, he doesn't understand how wearing a great pair of shoes can make you invincible.

Clearly he's not the doctor I thought he was.

Thoughts While Stapling Eleventy Bajillion Pieces of Paper for the PTA

2008-09-22T23:20:00.004-04:00

Wonder how long this is going to take me.

Is this the most efficient way to assemble these?

This stapler sucks.

Dog chewing edge of box--well at least she's not teething on my toes. Could be worse.

That box is a virtual cornucopia of fundraising flyers.

This stapler sucks.

Screw it. They're stapled.

Shit, some Kindergartener is going to cut their hand on that staple. Do over.

Freaking husband. Convenient phone call while I'm sitting here with all this to do.

This stapler sucks.

Wonder if I should take that blogging gig. Interesting topic. Do I have time? Will I have anything to say? Will I need to research? Think I'll take it. I'm not sure.

Wonder if the motion I'm using to lean over and sit back up counts as core exercise? It should. I can feel it. My posture sucks. If I sat up better, I bet it would count.

How sad is it that I'm considering stapling as exercise??

But I'm sweating. Okay--that's cause I turned off the air.

This stapler sucks.

Still on the phone my mate? I swear it's because you can still hear my stapler.

What?? You're offering to help? Sure count and label these.

Bonus points to hubs for helping out.

Well it's his kids' school too. Damn right he should.

I'm a bitch.

Kinda fun hanging out doing this together.

Shit I'm not stapling fast enough.

Oh look and help from a four year-old!

I'm going to be here all night.

Thank god for the short attention span in four year old.

I must be close to done.

Hmmm. I could write a blog post about this.

This stapler still sucks.

What? We're only through the 1st grade classes?!

And there goes the hubs.

I'm going to be here all night.

What shows do I have to set up on TiVo this season? I liked that Criminal Minds.

I watch too many cop shows.

Didn't get many emails today.

I'm going to die alone.

This stapler sucks.

A Letter to Wall St. from a Mom

2008-09-18T22:45:00.003-04:00

Dear Failed Wall St. Financial Executives,

We need to talk about your behavior.

There are rules we all live by--rules my three boys must follow in our house. I'm betting your parents enforced them in their homes too.

We didn't make up these rules so we could find excuses to take away your privileges. We created these rules so that you would grow up to be law-abiding, contributing members of society, so you could make and keep friends and so we could actually take you out of the house without being completely embarrassed.

See the thing is, my children who are still quite young, are having an easier time behaving than you seem to be.

Your lying and inability to make responsible decisions can no longer be tolerated.

Millions of people have lost vast amounts of money over the past few days because of your actions. Bills will go unpaid causing other businesses to suffer. Those about to retire may now be looking at additional years of work when they should be enjoying the plans they had for their money that is now gone. Children will receive fewer presents this coming holiday season. Families will cancel vacations.

Your bad behavior affects not only you but hundreds of millions of people too.

When my kids misbehave they must face the consequences. How am I going to explain to them that when YOU misbehave the consequences aren't yours to face but theirs?

I haven't decided yet what your punishment should be. I need time to consider it when I'm not so angry.

In the meantime, you need to go sit in the corner and think about your actions. I'll call you when I'm ready to talk--in about fifty years.

love,
Mamma

Rethinking Friends

2008-09-10T22:12:00.004-04:00

My first in-depth experience with Washington, DC was the summer I lived here and interned. My college roommate grew up here and had spent the spring semester at American University so she introduced me to a number of her friends. There was one guy in particular that I clicked with and we spent a good deal of our time together discovering the city. We didn't date we were truly just friends.

We went back to our respective schools at the end of the summer and once back into our daily routines--and well we didn't speak again--until we ran into each other the following summer at a tiny train station in the middle of nowhere in Spain and again six weeks later in Prague. We vowed that we wouldn't lose touch this time.

So that fall, both having graduated, he called me from NY to see what I was up to. I had returned from my excursion and was living with my parents in FL and trying to figure out my next move. He mentioned he was moving back to DC with a friend and wondered if I wanted him to find an apartment that had a room for me too. "What the hell!" I replied, and before I knew it I was driving to DC with all of my possessions hoping I'd find a job.

We lived together for three years. We visited each other's families, we developed our own traditions and we shared a dog. I loved him like a brother, but we began to grow apart. We moved into our own apartments. We started seriously dating people and we spoke less and less. I got married and got a son not much later and my life spun out of control. He moved back to NY and we haven't spoken in almost 8 years.

Tonight I looked him up on Facebook.

Social media and social networking have made it possible for me to meet incredible people, share interesting ideas and waste time trash talking over the internet during boring meetings, but are these people my "friends?"

It depends when you ask me.

My gut response is yes, but I think back to the friendship I had with my DC roommate or with college friends or folks from high school or middle school even and I wonder if the same definition applies.

The internet has made it possible for us to communicate with people we never see. Through blog posts, through email, in less than 140 characters we share our thoughts, but does that mean that we are friends?

Last night I had drinks with five people I met online and one I have gotten to know better online. We talked easily. We enjoyed ourselves and some of us stayed way later than we should have, but can I say these folks are my friends? What do I really know about them? What do they know about me? Would they notice if I hopped off my social networks? Would they check in if I did?

What about those long-lost friends that you can reconnect with through Facebook or Classmates or any other network out there? Can you revive a friendship that was? Should you even bother? Clearly there were reasons you fell out of touch in the first place. Is it better to leave the past in the past?

I don't have any answers tonight.

I'm just going to go outside and ponder this all.

Though It's Easy To Pretend

2008-09-08T15:21:00.002-04:00

I'm officially old.

No, I haven't turned 40--yet, but it's probably fair to say we're bumping hips.

No, it's not that I found my first gray hair. L'Oreal already sends me an annual thank you card.

And no, it's not because I can no longer tell you who half the people are in my high school yearbook who promised they LYLAS and wanted to KIT.

Nope.

The reason I'm officially old is that I rode the elevator today, and during my ride down 15 floors, wafting through the mysterious speakers that fill the space with ambient noise (where are those speakers anyway? and is do they play that music so I won't feel so alone while I'm in there?) were the soothing sounds of George Michael--set to MUZAK!

At first I didn't recognize the ditty, but something felt familiar. My mind kept wanting to make sense of the hypnotizing tones that seeped into my ears like alien life forms in their liquid state.

Then all of the sudden it hit me.

"Do do do da da da dada...Somebody tell me (won't you tell me) why I work so hard for you."

NOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Images of crooning along with the pre-bathroom-hole-poking-George as I rode down 4th St. with my BFFs are crystal clear in my head.

But I have to face it. It's time to grow up. When the music from your youth is set to a Casio keyboard, some strings and a bass guitar it's time to admit it.

I'm old.

"My God. I don't even think that I love you!"