Thursday, December 21, 2006

Can We Get Back Together?

Hi [she says sheepishly]

It wasn't you, it was me. I swear! Really! The holidays, strep throat, a rager of a cookie exchange. I just haven't had time for a relationship. But if you'll have me, I'm back. And this time I promise not to ignore you--even when my friends are around.

No? You won't have me back?

What if I promise date night every Saturday night? What? You want it capped off with a guaranteed blow job too?! Ummmm. Will you promise to leave comments? And to come back to visit again? Oh, okay I guess.

God I'm so easy!

I've missed you guys! I would have much preferred chatting with you than lying in bed praying for a throat-a-dural. I haven't had strep since college. I had forgotten how much fun it was. Like life isn't busy enough with the holidays and end of the year work. It's no fun getting all that stuff done when you actually have enough time to do it.

Shakey deserves a huge shout out--and not just because he allows me to blog embarrassing stories about him, but because he has been the total teammate this holiday season. Surprisingly, splitting up all of the items on our list has resulted in us being all ready for Christmas four days early, and I'm not quite sure how. I keep waiting to discover something we've completely forgotten, but so far so good. Tree-check, presents-check, relatively clean house-check, food-check, christmas lights-check, christmas cards sent, packages mailed, all kids accounted for-check, check, check. You see what I mean? Something's got to be missing.

Are you all set for the holidays? If you're Jewish I realize you're already in the middle of the festival of lights. Were you ready in time?

I don't feel like I've listened to enough carols yet. I think tomorrow I'll tune all the radios to the 24 hour a day holiday music station and just OD between now and Christmas. If I don't, I'll end up feeling sad on the 26th that I didn't get a chance to enjoy them.

That was my goal for this year. To enjoy the holidays. The past few years I feel like they snuck up so fast that they were here and gone before I had a chance to appreciate them. Life certainly does go by faster the older you get.

But all of this is no excuse. I shouldn't have ignored you and I'm sorry. Really.

So the blowjobs...that a deal breaker?

2 Deserve Mamma's Love:

Eric said...

It's too late for you, sister. I've moved on. But maybe you can get some other sucker to comment. Just not me. No, way, you won't see me commenting on this blog.

Oh, The Joys said...

I'm your hoo-er forever.